"THE POTATO 18 COOKED."

Evening Post, Volume XXI, Issue 17, 21 January 1881, Page 3

"THE POTATO 18 COOKED."

Lambton Kat, Wbllin'ton, 10th January, 1881. I'm tould there's been grate ruckshions intiroly among yer readhers bekays I haven't rote to ye for some time, so I haven't. The fact o* the matther is, I've been coaching ould Tom (I don't mane the craythur called ' London Ould Tom, but me frind Misther Diok) on political affairs pravious to his departchure as plinnypotinshirry to the Sydney Conference, an' this has) occupied " me spare time. Yell see be tiligram that Misthor Bryce has resigned, an' Johnny Hall has axed me to take up the portfoley of Native Ministher. But, begorra, I'm sick an' tired o' me prisint collaiges, an' I'll not take the office ; I'll laive Parlimint first, bo I will. There's been grate goin's on over the manin' o' Tay Whitty's remark, "The potaty is cooked," but the thranslashuns are all wrong together, an' I'm the only pakeyha in the colony that can give the rail mainin'. Ay coose yer aware that Tay Whitty has been a constant readber o' the Sathurday Advertiser for years, an it .was through your columns that he first made the acquaintance o' yer humble sarvint. The gmto Profit soon began to rayilise the fact that I'm the only man in New Zayland that can keep the Maoris in ordher, an', by the hokey, he was afeard ay his life o' me, so he was. Well, not seeing me pomes or ipistols in yer pages for some time, he began to think that I must have kioked the bucket or gone to San Francisco, an' so he thought he could play the very diokens wid the Govermint bekays I was away. That was why he ixclaimed in a jewbillant voice to the Governor's Aid-to-Kong (Frinch), " The Potaty is cooked," mainin', ay coorse, that the Murphy (that's me) is cooked. But, be me conshmse, I'll soon let the sly ould varmint see that I'm not cooked, bo I'm not. Be Sir Arthur's special request, I've rote a short liarical pome on the meetin' o f Captain Knollys and Tay Whitti, an' it runs ob follows :—: — THB POTATY IS COOKED. Toe Front vu gaitwd alone in his wharry, When bcrald Captain Knoll ya came up to the door; The Aid-to-Koni; bowin* exclaimed-— "Faix I'm Barry, To thronble ye, darlint, but railly I'm sure Yell pardon the freedom I take, for me miisfon Is palcefal an' good, an' yer friendship I'vs book'd, Me masther Sir Arthur's ajtrate polyiician"— T*y Wbitty then Bed—" The potaty is cook'd." " Beßorro, mo boy, sure I don't andtaeratand ye; Yer language la fethronge, and its manin obscure, . Btr Arthur has elnt me to ax an' command ye To meet him." The Profit danced round on "i tbe floor; The Captain, bewildhered, was filled wid commotion, Tay Whitty bo fanny an' comical (ook'd, Be-did; blnr-on-agea, it seemed a sthrange notion, Again came the words — "The potaty is -* ooOkU" " Grate Profit.'! again spoke the Captain, " this ¦ letter Was written be Johnny, the mighty Primeear. He heard you wer sick, an' fee hopes that yer betther. I've brought ye a dhrop o' the orajthur, my dear, The light's on tbe mountain, the livers are plucky "— Tay Whitty 'a sly wink said, " I'm not to be h ook'd." His look seemed to say—" Now. clear out if yer luoky." His tongue only said—" The potaty is cook'd." PADDY MURPHY.