THE DEADLY HANDSHAKE.

Dunstan Times, Issue 3333, 9 August 1926, Page 2

THE DEADLY HANDSHAKE.

The friendly gesture known as the handshake has been slapped hard by Dr j 11. W. Hill, Professor of Bacteriology in j the University of British Columbia, j Finding himself in Toronto with time on j ins hands and ideas in his head, Dr Hill , proceeded to the Canadian Health Con- j hress ami made a speech, viewing with I’ alarm the ancient and malignant custom I of shaking hands. I Few people may have noticed it, but ' hands make excellent roosting places for bacteria, bugs, microbes, germs and other i nests, comments P. W. Luce, writing in a. | Canadian paper on Professor Hill’s alarmzing statements. A casual handshake be--1 tween friends gets these bugs hopelessly i mixed up. to the great endangerment of i health. The bugs get very much annoyed . ami bite the hand that feeds them. ReI suit: Disaster, disease and death stalking up and down the land. ; Q r Hill has very kindly multiplied the I population of ■ the United States and 1 Canada by the number of microbes known i to be residing on hands north of Mexico, doing this tremendous work in his own i time and making a generous deduction for ! one-armed men. His figures prove that j an average hand supports 9328 full-grown 1 and 33 297 baby microbes per cubic centii mdter, and the' reason there are not more li s that these take up all the available i The sc microbes are able, and very wili ling to spread all the latest styles of ’ disease. They are devilishly active when | the even tenor of their existence has been ! disturbed by a vigorous handshake, which I is one reason why so many friends of the i party feel so sick the day after election. _ i The insidious thing about manutosis | (bacteria on the hands) is that you, yourself. seldom know you have it. Your friends mav shun yon and your relatives keep their distance, but unless some little child blurts out the distressing truth, you . iIVO likely to remain in ignorance ot your 1 appalling condition. You _ might go I through life scattering bugs right and left and never be any the wiser. Or, worse 1 still, imagine yourself realising the mon- | stroiis enormity of your heinous offence i and weeping over these entries in you* | 1,1 April 16. —Met Bill Potts. Shook hands ! heartily. , : April 20.— 8i1l Potts died of distemper, j Shook hands with Jerry McGuire. April 23.—Jerry McGuire died of housc- ' maid’s knee. Shook hands with Pete i Prune. „„ . I April 26.—Pete Prune suitering irom I hives. Shook hands with Mike Rophone. i April 29. Mike Rophone attacked by I blues and taken to Isolation Hospital. , April 30.—Arresed by health inspector. I What have I done! What have 1 done! | One way to avoid such tragedies is to i refuse to shake hand unless it is hygienic. 1 If yon should meet your rich uncle on Ins | way to amend his will, be firm! Look I the old fellow squarely in the eye and say: "No. uncle, 1 cannot shake hands with you! Your fingers are dripping microbes! j Yonr nails have not been manicured for a | month. Yoifare a menace to the human 1 race. You breed bugs by the billion, i Yon . . •” Thee will, be no need lo say more, i Your rich uncle will have moved on by 1 then, firmly"-elutelling in his dirty hand the dollar ho is going to leave yon in In? will. In business, too, take no more chances. Assuming you are one of those talkative salesmen who. has been in the habit of proffering a moist palm to yonr prospects, do so no more. Reform! Beware of j bacteria! . ' When yon have fo-ced your way into the private office and cleared the papers off your victim's desk, get busy. Unhook the aluminium basin from under your coattails. slip the rubber bottle filled with distilled water frtfm behind your shirt front. : take the medicated soap and the prophy lactic brush out of your vest pocket, then seive the prospects’ right hand and scrub it red and raw. When the microbes are routed, dry the hand and dust it with talcum- uowder, then proclaim : ‘‘Delighted to meet you, sir, and proud indeed to shake yonr clean hand!” Yon will find this system a wonderful help in bringing the interview to a rapid conclusion.