Page 3 Advertisements Column 3

Dunstan Times, Issue 2488, 5 July 1909, Page 3

HUMOROUS DESCRIPTION OF A BABY. The zoological curiosity " baby” is widely distributed over the habitable globe It has been found by Arctic explorers in the ice dwellings of the Esquimaux, serenely sucking a lump of whale blubber, and in OU? own country investigators have frequently obsers-cd it diligently crunching coal cinders. Asia possesses a multitudinous variety, and in books of Indian life and customs, we have instances where crocodiles in quest of a dinner have been gratuitously supplied with one or two babies by the Indian ladies, but in highlycivilised countries this curious custom does not prevail, owing, as is generally supposed, to a lack of crocodiles. Every census reveals the fact that babies are on the increase, and now almost every house has its baby—dr two. Specimens have been found from time to lime neatly enveloped in a newspaper, snugly reposing on the doorsteps of respectable citizens, and as the strictest investigation has failed to discover from whence they ci,.ne, we arc forced to the conclusion that they are of a inctcorolitish origin. The class is divided into two sections—boy babies and gir! babies. It grows in two directions simultaneously. to length and breadth, and often weighs as much as a small-sized sack of coals. It is provided with four limb-like appendages, one at each corner, which it uses with a spider-like movement as a means of progression. Its principal aim seems to be the creation of discordant noises ; to this end it devotes its powers, and succeeds in many cases in and at great perfection. The still Gina urs are generally utilised by it in practising and perfecting this remarkably faculty. If left in charge cf a man il invariably resorts to aggravating devices to render lilt intensely miserable, and in all cases it inusl be naudled with extreme caution ~ For Chronic. Chest Complaints, Woods’ Great Peppermint Cure. 1/6 & 2/6

An S T R A I; I A N I. L I A N C E S 8 LI II A N C E 1 COMPANY j Capital Lunds ... £150,000. ' The WEALTHIEST and PREMIER i Australian Company. | Local Agent:— Mr H. E; STEVENS. All Risks accepted at Lowest Rates. r Losses settled Promptly. A. J. SULLIVAN, (Jhief Agent tor Otago lE. W. ATTEIELD. I ! Butcher, Waikerikeri Valley, Clyde, HAS Pleasure in intimating to the public that o iClyde that j his carts will make regular visits — on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturl days, when only the primest meat will be ofiered for sale. | BEEF, MUTTON, LAMB, Etc. A TRIAL SOLICITED. G W HINCIILIFFE BOOTMAKER, CLYDE. Boots and Shoes made to measure KIT GUARANTEED. Repairs Neatly Executed All work will be on STRICTLY CASH LINES Friers Moderate, ERNEST NAYLOR, BAKER & CONFECTIONER Sunderland Street, Clyde, Has pleasure in intimating to the public of Clyde and district that he j has commenced business as a Baker and Confectioner, in newly erseted premises adjoining B. Naylor and Son’s, Clyde. ALL GOODS A SPECIALTY A TRIAL SOLICITED CHARLES CLUNES, WATCH & CLOCK REPAIRER, Alexandra South, Work left with Mrs Sneeston will receive prompt attention. A large stock of Watches, Clocks, Jewellery, etc., kept in stock. Repairs promptly executed at reasonable rates. ONCE TRIED ! ALWAYS TRIED ! Satisfaction Guaranteed,

Aimop to Mothers Are you brokm in youi rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth ? do at once tc a cncrmat and get a bottle o Mrs Win* blow's SootHiUo BVUUR- It wil relieve the po r sufferer immediately. It is per* footly-armless an:l pleasant tc| taste. It 1 produces natural quiet sleep by relieving ) the child from pain, and the little cherub I nikes ‘as bright as .. ’"itton. It I Dofches the child, it aottens the gums I Jiays all pain relieves wind, regulates the i „nwelß; and i« the best known remedy for . r) -antcry and diarrhoea, whether arising I f,o n teething or other causes. Mrs Winj tooihio* Syrup Hold by Medimne , dtfd'itiiS cveryiylu'ft/