SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 7440, 10 August 1895, Page 6 (Supplement)

SCISSORS.

A congregation in America had to be dismissed recently owing to an epidemic of sneezing, which attacked everyone at the same moment. It was eventually discovered that someone had charged the organ pipes with cayenne pepper.

In New York, according to an American paper, there is a club one room of which is papered with .000 playing cards, while another is covered with theatre tickets, and has a cornice running right round composed of champagne corks.

The Duchess of York, at the CrystalSPalace recently, distributed the 2500 awards made to school children for essays on kindness to animals. No fewer than 93,513 essays had been sent in.

' Was Rome founded by Romeo ?' enquired a pupil of the |eacher. ' No, my son,' replied the wise man, ' it was Juliet who was found dead by Romeo.' A physician who has been studying

the effect of liquors on the voice states

that none of the great singers have ever been teetotallers. Wine, taken in moderation, he believes, is useful for the voice, but beer_ thickens it and -tfi-k.. .^g-ttuf-fr"'

A female money-lender sued a tailoress in the Bow County Court recently for money lent, interest on the same being charged at the rate of 1000 per cent. The Judge let the borrower off lightly.

Johnny : I suppose papa didn't bother his papa much asking questions ? Mamma: Why do you think so, Johnny ? Johnny : Well, his papa couldn't have told him very much anyhow.

The value of the sea fisheries of the United Kingdom last year reached a total of £12,000,000.

, A sale in London recently of pictures, decorative furniture, and other valuables (not including plate and jewels) of the late Mrs Lyne-Stephens realised £123,733. The jewels also fetched high prices, a necklace of 41 pearls going for £4200. A London photographer announces 1 comic pictures taken while you wait.' These pictures are rendered comic by placing the head of the subject upon a ludicrous little body, aad then mounting the whole upon a fractious donkey.

Clara : I wonder if it is true that one is likely to catch something from being kissed. Maud j Of course not. You've been kissed enough, but you haven't caught anything yet, have you ?

According to a report of the Kasan Consistorium, just issued at St. Petersburg, no fewer than 11,034 heathens, among whom were 6590 women, last year relapsed from the orthodox faith into their original idolatrous beliefs and practices. During the same period and in the same government of Kasan, 12,188 Tartars, including 5767 women, abandoned the State Church for Islam.

Two patients died in a Northampton asylum recently, and were placed in coffins and sent to wrong destinations. A telegram announcing that a mistake had been made was received as the burial service was being performed in the presence of mourners over the wrong body at Soulbury, Bucks.

'My friend,' said a doctor to his Irish patient, 'be composed, we must all die once.' ' An' it's that vexes me,' replied Pat. 'If it were more than onst, sure I'd be aisy enough.'

Two hundred and thirty miles have been ridden on a bicycle without dismounting.

A brewery firm sued a female defendant in the Manchester County Court recently for the price of a cask of beer. For the defendant it was alleged that the beer was bad, attributed to the presence of a dead rat in the barrel. Judgment was given for the defendant.

American coal-cutting machines are being rapidly introduced into Europe. In ono mine in Saxony, with an increase of fifty-nine machines, over half a million more tons of coal were produced, machine methods increasing the output, and at the same time decreasing the percentage of standard charges.

A proposal to tax the employment of domestic servants is being considered by tho French Cabinet.

The German Emperor recently received a peculiar present—a pair of scissors, but so exquisitely made as to be valued at £80. The donor, a steel merchant of Sohlingen, had L_e Emperor's portrait and some celebrated historical buildings engraved upon them. 'J he engraver is said to have worked for fully five years over his task. The Duchess of Albany recently attended a lecture given by Professor Dewar on the liquefaction of gases. He liquefied some of the air in the room, and gave experiments with liquid oxygen at a temperature of 330 degrees below the freezing point of water. In this liquid fragments of diamond burned brilliantly. ' Speaking of drawing,' remarked the artist, ' I reached the acme of the draughtsman ambition to-day.' ' Ah, indeed.' ' Yes, I drew a cheque, and it was honored.' A man wearing a clerical garb was charged at Liverpool recently with assaulting a woman at whose house he called. He questioned her about going to mass and confession, and while pretending to ' bless ' her, he is alleged to have committed the assault complained of. It was said that other" charges of a similar character have been made against the accused. The hands of female mummies found iv the tombs of Egypt are literally covered with rings, in many instances there being from two to six on every -—- finger. In some cases these ornaments are composed wholly of gold, but in others, which probably represent all that is left of some poor man's wife or daughter, the rings are brass, glass, or pottery-ware. An incorrigible female pauper being charged with breaking windows at a London workhouse, the magistrate remarked : —' It appears to be hopeless to think of reforming you. A thousand years hence people will become civilised, and useless persons like you will be put in a lethal chamber such as they have at the Dogs' Home, and be got rid of.' The largest perEurnery distillery in the world is at Cannes, in the South of France, where over 100,0001b of flowers are used every year. A woman with a well-bearded chin was recently sent to gaol at Manchester for begging. She declared she had not begged, but because of her whiskers people turned to look at her, and she merely looked back. She informed the magistrate that the more she clipped her beard the more it~-.-grew. A man complained to a London magistrate recently that a lady doctor had appropriated his infant's caul. A caul, he declared, was regarded by sailors as a charm against drowning and sea-sickness, and would fetch £3. Boggs (pathetically) : Good-bye, wife, I have to go on jury duty. Mrs Boggs (tearfully) : Now, be back as soon as you. can. Don't belong to the obstinate eleven. Two English gentlemen have succeeded in crossing the Channel from Dover to Calais in a tandem cycle boat, the journey occupying seven hours and a quarter. The boat was 24ft long, and fitted with a paddle cycle. A curious case of courage in the face of death is reported in Germany. A lieutenant of Hussars, Yon OstenSacken, accidentally wounded himself. The doctor informed him that hc'cu .!d at the most live three hours. Tha ~" officer had writing materials brought to him, made his will, and then reported his own death to his superior officer, giving the cause of the same. A Paris lover became bald through illness recently. His sweetheart accordingly renounced him. He boughj; a wig. She laughed, and snatched it off : his head. Growing angry, he stabbed,her. The English love of dancing still puzzles lazy Orientals. As a recent ball at Rangoon two native gr_ot__ * were watching the festivities from $ verandah, and one of the observers asked his companion why the coupha walked about after each dance. r i_e other groom described the reason in native phraseology : ' The sahibs run the mems and misses round to make them hot, and then walk them round to cool them down.' The title of the smallest man accrued to one Dudley Foster, a dwarf who recently died at Bridgetown, Nova Scotia, at the age of 16 years and 1Q months, from cardiac trouble. He weighed but 20 pounds, and attained a height of barely 30 inches. At least two ladies have been recently appointed ' chairmen ' of parish councils in England. The curious Cliandal Chowk, or ' Silver-street,' of Delhi, a picturesque thoroughfare in the East, derives its name from the filigree wrought with unrivalled skill and taste in the Mogul capital. The constant diminution of French exports becomes rJarming, and the Minister of Commerce is organising missions of study in South America and the East to revive the decaying French trade. What is most lacking is the enterprise that in the last century scattered French pioneers and merchants over India, America, and the Far East. A youngster, hho was a deposit account in a saving bank, called the other morning and asked to withdraw five shillings of his hard-earned cash. ' We don't bother with anything less than a sovereign. If you want £1 you can have in, but nothing less.' . ' But it is printed in the pass book the sum of five shillings and upwards will.be received on deposit.' ' Yes ; but that's a different thing. You can deposit less than £I.' The youth was thoughtful for a moment, and then he said: — ' Well, let me have £1 in silver.' The money was gracefully doled out to him. He put five shillings in his pocket, and handed the remainder back with the r.o. mark that he wished to deposit the money. The bank clerk reached for his ruler, and was inclined to be indignant, but when his wrath faded into a smile he said they'd have to amend the rules.