WIT AND WISDOM.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 6414, 26 March 1892, Page 5 (Supplement)

WIT AND WISDOM.

It is as wicked not to do right as it is to do wrong. The man that goes the pace that kills seldom pays as he goes. If you want to keep on thinking well of a man, don't go his security. A bigot is a man who i 3 dead sure of something he doesn't know anything

about. There is nothing like pinning faith to a wrong idea and being scratched by

the pin. Women leads the world. She used smokeless powder for ages before men ever thought of adopting it. An old sad sea dog is probably a dismantled ocean greyhound. The fanner who hides his light under a bvishel incurs the risk of needing a new barn.

If ignorance is bliss, the wonder is why so many people complain of being miserable. There are times when the best of people would hate to tell what they are thinking about. Looking for flowers without thorns is one of the best ways in the world of fooling your time away. 'My pet, I want a quick lunch to day.' 'Very well, dearest, I'll give you a hasty pudding.' She (suggestively)— They say the little birds have all mated before this. He—Yes, but bless you, think how few expenses they have ! Mrs Frank Stewart Parker says corsets have filled more graves than whisky. They both make ther victims very tight. • You don't love me so much as you did!' pouted young Mrs Mcßride. ' Didn't I just now say you -were worth your weight in gold V remonstrated her husband. ' Yes ; but you said that when we were first married, and I weigh seven pounds less now.' Rev. Plink Plunk on Truthfully— I hab known men, deah breddern, dat neber told a lie, but I hab heard dese same men tangle up de truf into sich an unreckonizable mess dat cben Ananias himselJ would hab a hard tussel to make up a lie to match it. Bright Boy—Teacher asks a bright boy—' How many ounces are there to the pound P Bright Boy— ' That depends upon the grocer. , I Daddy—lf you are a good boy I'll take you to the circus. Sonny— Suppose I ain't a good boy ? Daddy— Then you'll have a circus with vie. The man who kills two organ-grinders where one lived before is a public benefactor.

The simplest and most elementary truths may be stated in such a wny as to possess something of the •charm of novelty. ' Why,' said Mrs Bronson, as the clock struck, ' it is only 1 , , o'clock. I thought it was 2.' ' No, mv m,' said Bridget, ' it's never later than 1 at this time of day. , 'J he Kansas City courts have been called upon to decide whether the discomfort of being kicked out of be;d by

a husband is sufficient cause for divorce. As the plaintiff has been married thirtythree years, involving an experience of about twelve thousand nights, the case is a beautiful illustration of the accepted theory that the worm will turn.

Ho left it to the Court—A short time ago an old negro was up beforo Judge Guerry of Dawson, charged with some trivial offence. ' Haven't you a lawyer, old man?' enquired the Judge. ' No, sah.' ' Can't you get one ?' No, sail.' 4 Don't you want me to appoint one to defend you ?' ' No, sah. I jes' tho't I'd leab the case to de ignanoe ob de cot.