MR AND MRS BOWSER.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 5978, 1 November 1890, Page 6 (Supplement)

MR AND MRS BOWSER.

[i-.y Mils uou'ski:.]

I don't know just exactly how many inventions are brought out weekly in this: country, hot I do know that Mr Bowser would buy each and every one of them if he had the opportunity. When we first set up housekeeping he had churns, washing machines, cultivators, boot-jacks, apple-parers. wugonjaeks spring-locks, gate-latches, and so onto the extent of a wagoti-load, and he lias added to the Collection ever •since when he could do so without my knowledge. One day about a year jt"'o tut express wagon unloaded a model of a patent gate ttt the barn, and ] soon thereafter Mr Rowser came home in an excited and enthusiastic state ol mind and said to me : 'Don't scream, or faint away, or fall over anything and break an arm, but be calm .and collected. 'Mr Bowser, what do you mean?' ~ . |> ( . ~i,i,„__l,[. culm. Mrs Bowser, we are worth a million dollars.' c W—what!' 'Keep cool. Pon't let. the news, unhinge' your mind. Yes, we are

worth v. cool million, and perhaps two or three.' ' Has some one left you a legacy .'" : I have made it with my own wit and foresight. Money can be left to a fool, but it takes a sharp man to I make money for himself. Come out to the barn.'"

I followed him out, and when he had placed the model in the alley and arranged certain parts to his satisfaction, he said :

' This is the Climax farm gate, covered by three different patents. I have bought the right to the State of Michigan for s 500. You see the idea ? This rope leading out on either side of the post is to be pulled by anyone wishing to pass through. See ? Farmer doesn't have to get down oft'his load of hay, just gives a jank—gate opens —drives through—gate shuts — goose hangs high.'

' Hut-—but "

1 There's no but about, Mrs Bowser. Let's figure a bit. We'll say there are. ;">0,00() fanners in the state. Each ono wants five of these g:ites, making 250,0(111 gates in all, Each gate can be put in J-.8, and the profit is £5. This .-ives me £1,200.000 to put into our pockets. Isn't that a good margin on >. nOO.'

IDo you know the farmers will buy

this gate ?'

' liny it! Why, they are crying for it all over the state ! 1 expect to be at least a thousand orders behind, tho best I can do.' •

' Well. I hope it will he a success,

but '

1 There you go ! Always ready to throw cold water on any of my enterprises ! If 1 brought you a solid chunk of gold you'd do your best to make out that it was nothing but. a brick !' An hour later a couple of sturdy old farmers came up at Mr Bowser's invitation to see the patent, and I sneaked out to one side to hear what they might say. Mr Bowser exhibited the' gate, wont over his figures, and then asked what "they thought of it.

' What's it for ?' they asked

' Why. to save a farmer from getting down off a load of hay or off his

wagon. • < Urn ! Yes !'

' Isn't it a gooil thing ." •Mebbe.'

' But it must lie. Can't you see the convenience at a glance ! The farmer doesn't have to get, down.'

' No. I see lie don't, and he's a dtirned idot ! He'd better git, down a thousand times than to pay £?. for that gate ! What's lie there for but to git down! lie's got lots of _ time to git down and climb up again.' In about ten minutes they knocked the underpinning away and let Mr Bowser down with a dull thud. He didn't; go altogether, however, until after he had taken the model to the liavmarket. and secured furtheropinions. One of the last farmers to examine it turned to Mr Bowser with :

*Tf ye want to catch the farmer, invent somethin' that will fodder the stock and feed the hogs afore daylight on a winter's morning. Might make the same invention bring wheat up to s-J a bushel, do his plotighin', run the cider mill and pay off the mortgage on

his farm

Tt. wasn't long before Mr I.sowser invested in a patent farm fence. The model showed three hoards and two lines of wire to a set-lion, and he bought six country rights at a .>•](..> each, lie came home <nt a trot, brimful of enthusiasm, and he took me ~ut to site the model he explained :

' A farmer can get along without a patent gate, but he can't, do without the fences. He can't riggleotit of this nowliow. He's got to have it, and he's got to come for it."

'The agent wanted ,<:;,ooo at first for the counties, but he soon discovered that f knew a thing or two. I shall begin to-morrow to turn the barn into si ''factory. I. shall supply this

c unity from here.'

' [fas any farmer seen it,' I asked

-Not yet: but three or four of them will be up pretty soon, and I have no doubt that every one will, order a mile of it.'

Three solid looking agriculturists put in an appearance after a while. They gave the model a careful looking over, and then one of them took out a pencil and said : ' It's a mighty purty fence, and it will stand, but, let's Jigger a little on the cost.'

The result of the figuring proved that it would take about the value of an average farm to fence it with that sort of fence, and the model is up stairs in the barn to-day.

Among Mr Bowser's investments was tt patent gate spring. He brought home under his arm, having bought, the state right, to manufacture and sell, and he was hardly in the house before he said :

' Mrs Bowser, will you have the kindness to make some figures for me . Put down Now multiply that by (JO. The total is cents, and you will divide by 100 to get it into dollars.'

' It's over $800,000,' I replied. ' Exactly, but call it an even ...800,000.'

• What for ?'

'To represent the sunt I shall make within the next year on this patent gate spring. L figure that there are 1,-._.8._.(i0' gates in this state which need springs. This spring can be sold for si, and the profits is sixty cents, dust like, rolling off a log. Mrs Bowser, we've .truck it !'

1 — I hope so

- J know it, ! 1 feci it in my bones ! In 11. year from now we'll bo able to walk on diamonds !'

Three days later Mr Bowser had discovered that out, of the 1 ,-.28,200 \ gales in Michigan only the owners of about 100,000 thought it necessary to out on springs, and that a two-shilling spring worked just as well as his dollar one. 'lie came home sick and laid abed all the afternoon, and towards' night, when 1 asked him for $2 to get some notions, ho roared out ; -Two dollars! Two dollars ! You want two dollars !' • Yes.' I ' I never saw such a woman to want money, nor to spend it so extravagantly ! Airs Bowser, you lei 'em rob you right and left ! You don't seem to have any idea of values. You have got to make a change, or I'll do all the buying myself. They know better than to try any trickery on me, and don't you forget it!'