MISCELLANEOUS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4735, 9 October 1886, Page 6 (Supplement)

MISCELLANEOUS.

THE PARSON GOT MAD.

' My relations with the clergy have been courteous, but cold, over since '72,' remarked Alf. Doten in the office of the palace, addressing , some brother Comstockers. Dr. Doten was formerly the publisher of the Gold Hill News, long , since dead. ' Tho Baptist preacher in the gulch was Mr McJawkins, a venerable man of great piety, but hollow-chested physically and intellectually,' said Mr Doten. ' He had no business snap about him, and the congregation took advantage of him. They paid him only $oO a month, and lufc him collect it if he could. He roosted iv the rear of the sacred edifice, and did his own cooking. One day in '72 it was snowing pretty hard in the gulch, and I met Parson McJawkins plowing along. The old man looked blue and frozen, and I took him into tho News office to warm himself.

'Po.rson,' says I, speaking low so the printers couldn't hoar, ' don't you think a thimble of whisky would do you good ?' ' Mr Dotcn,' says he, ' I'm not a drinking man ; but I think it would.' 'Mr McJawkius, says I, in a loud voice, ' Come down to the cellar and see our new power press.' Tho collar was where I kept the editorial jug. ' When I thrown a couple of bolts into the parson he warmed up and said it was remarkable good liquor. He repeated this several times and took no interest in the

press. 'Yes,'says I, 'its good liquor. Won' you take a little of it home with you, par son ?'

' I'm not a drinking" man, Brother Doton,' says he, ' but since your so kind, I will thank God and tako courage. Tho congregation might object, but there isjno necessity of their knowing auything about if..' ' Correct,' nays I, and I reached for a bottle on the shelf. I held it under the faucet and gave it a rinse, and filled her up for tho parson, who went off happy. But he never spoko to me again, and stopped his paper, though he was a deadhead.'

f Why f asked the surprised group oi Cometockers.

' Well,' said Mr Doten 'it seems it was an ink bottle I gave the parson, with a lot of dried ink in it, and the rinse didn't move it. But tho whisky did. Tho parson was nearly killed with tho gripes. I ho mentioned the business to tho rest of tho preachers on tho quiet, for ever since the ministers havo always veered off when I hove in sight. Ido not exaggerate, therefore, when I say that my relations with the clergy are courteous, but cold. Iβ there a bar-room within pistol-shot of this tavern ?' —I'rom the San Francisco Post.