SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4297, 6 May 1885, Page 4

SCISSORS.

Tawhaio, the Maori King, has had a bronze figure of himself made. He ivants Londoners to bear him in mind. He may have been reading Macaulay's prophecy on the coming triumphs of his race in the city of fogs and smoke. They have had "hoaltherics," "fisheries," "inventories," "japaneries,"—a very few " missionaries " —in London, and now they have "canaries." We suggest exhibits of '' duderies," " dufferies," " fooleries,'' "rogueries," and "exploserics." Copyright reserved. The Paris Municipal Council have adopted, by 52 votes to 2, a resolution condemning tho policy of remote expeditions and colonial adventures, and calling on the Government to put an end to them as speedily as possible, but expressing sympathy with tho soldiers and sailors engaged in the far East. A young Parisian lady scraped the silver off a looking-glass, leaving just a dot of silver here and there to show what had been on it, and sent it over to her opposite neighbor, also a young girl, who hud offended her. These cutting words_ wero in the note that accompanied the gift: — "This little glass will enable you to see me from your window, but as it is not silvered now will spare you the grief of seeing yourself in it." It is related of the late Edmoud About

that, being at his office and writing in hot haste, one of his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "I am drawing up a list of the different ways in which people can make fools of themselves," replied About; "I am just at tho twenty-eight thousandth, aud have lots to do yet."

The secret of Dante's struggle through life was in the reckless sarcasm of his answer to the Prince of Verona, who asked him how he could account for the fact that, in the household of princes, the court fool was in greater favor than the philosopher. "Similarity of mind," said the fierce genius. " is, all tho world over, the source of friendship."

A curious story comes to us from Liverpool. It is this : A woman called to see a lawyer in that town, and having reminded him that twelve months before ho had been instrumental in procuring a divorce for her,

explained that she had since become engaged to her late husband, ancl that she wished to sue him for his breach of promise to marry her a second time. A citizen -who "had had his attention called" to an item in a newspaper which seemed to reflect on his integrity of character, made a bee-lino for the office to thrash the editor. At the head of the second flight of stairs ho paused to wonder if it would not be wiser to demand a retractation. At the third landing he had almost decided to send the thrashing by letter. At the fifth he met the editor whom he started to find, unci handed him tho cash for a year's subscription in advance. Wolseley laughed at Gordon because when the latter started for Khartoum he had only a small satchel containing a piece of soap, a comb, a towel, a pair of socks and a shirt. " I wish I could do with the one article which you carry," said Gordon. '' What's that ?'' replied Wolseley. '' Brass,'' said Gordon.

Miss Dolly Tester, who was attached to tho Brighton Theatro in no very distinguished position, some time ago became Viscountess Savernake, heir to tho Marcpiis of Ailesbury. Now, her sister, Miss Jennie Tester, who was formerly in the dress circle refreshment bar of Mrs Nye Chart's theatre in Brighton, has married Lord Lyvcdcii's heir.

The seven ages of woman : At 12 she wants to wear long dresses, with a trail: at \ G she wants to be " a great actress ;'' at 18, she wants a sweetheart; at 21, she wants a husband ; at 25, she wants him to stay at home in the evenings ; at 28, she wants her own way ; at 30, she wants a divorce.

The Queen of Belgium is described as stolidly insolent, without a grace or a charm to season the defect. Horsesjare her passion, as she grows older she become more in sympathy with them, and less with the human race. All the faculties of her mind are daily concentrated for hours on tho team of ponies she drives. The death is announced from Strasburg, at the age of 40, of Edward Weber, the well-known pianist antl composer. He was a pupil of his father, Johannos Weber, and was the composer of an opera, " Kositu," and of a largej quantity of piano and chamber music. Edward Weber took a great part in the establishment of choral societies in Alsace, where lie hatl resieled for many years. jtfrs Frederick Neilson, a sister of Freddie Gob bard t, has become a convert to the Roman Catholic faith through tho proselytisin ,r of Mgr. Capcl. She has an income of £2400 a year, was greatly opposed to her brother paying his attentions to tho Langtry, and is passionately fond of yachting and all vigorous sports. An old army surgeon, who was with General Grant a good deal during the war, says that he never but once heard him use any word which could bo called profane, and that was "dog on it." The general used to say that he kci>t a staff officer to do the swearing for him when occasion required. The British Medical Journal denies the possibility of smoking having caused the cancer with which Grant is aillicted. It says that ths risk of cancer in the throat incurred by smokers is infinitesimal, and it denounces the anti-tobacconists for seeking to make capital of tho sufferings of a great in an. Two more shocks of cartheuiake were felt in Spain at the beginning oi' March, causing much damage to buildings, but no loss of life. Tho official statistical report states that through the late earthquakes iv the province uf Granada GOO were killed and 1,173 wounded. The buildings completely destroyed numbered 3,312; and those partially destroyed 2,138. The Countess of Stradbroke lias recovered sufficiently from the imprisonment of Edmund Yates to give a grand bull, at «-hi/;h three hundred forgiving souls danced and wide merry, apparently without fear •of being 1 libelled in the society papers by her ladyship next day. The Vie Parisienne thus advises a woman how to bo attractive: Look confident and indifferent; express yourself simply, and with a voice as sweet as possible ; be keenly alive to every thing that passes, yet appear absent-minded ; know as much as psssiblo, yet please by asking questions. Having read everything, emote nothing ; seen everything, appear ignorant; heard all, always express surprise; desire everything, ask for nothing-. Be light-hearted, to preserve your beauty; be indulgent, to attract sympathy.

John Parselle, who died lately in New York, where he had for years been a steady, successful, and favorite actor, will be remembered by old playgoers in London, first as a " walking gentleman " at the Lyceum during the Vestris regime, and afterwards at the Strand, in the early days of the Swanborough management. A. gentleman who was a colleague of his at the Lyceum, Mr Ballingham, and long ago retired from the stage, still lives, a prosperous gentleman. Visitor: "I think Aurora would be a very expressive name for the little ang-el." Young Father (behind the paper): " Aurora would do, because he was a roarer all last night, but, unfortunately, that is a girl's name, and the little beggar happens to be a boy." Visitor: "Oh, it's a boy is it? What are you going to name him?" Young Father: "I am going to call him Albert Edward, because he is the Prince of Wails, and he's prematurely bawled." Some 20,000 trees were recently ordered from Norway for service as telegraph poles for the 300 miles of additional telegraph lines required outside London for the introduction of sixpenny telegrams in August next. English lurches have been found j wanting in durability for such poles. In America preference is given to the cedar which, if felled in winter when the sap is low, lasts for 1G years. But, on the whole, the poles require renewing every 10 or 15 years. A novel incident which occurred to a stenographer of a New York court, tho other day, will raise a new point of law for the Judges to decide. The stenographer had taken the official notes of a case tried in his court, transcribed them, and placed the transcript and the notes in his overcoat pocket. That night he went to the theatre, threw his overcoat over the back of the seat, and the notes and transcript fell on tho floor and were lost. There is, therefore no record of the testimony of the witnesses from which to make up an appeal, unless tho parties can agree to make it up from memory. The case is unprecedented, and the unfortunate stenographer is in trouble lest he be mulcted in the costs of a new trial, should one be deemed necessary. " So you want to get a divorce from your wife, do you?" asked a lawer of_a noble lord who _alled at his office. "Yes, sir; that is the object of my visit." "Have yon any sufficient reason for obtaining a divorce?" "Indeed 1 have." "Docs your wife displease you?" "Oh, I havo a better reason than that," replied his lordship, " 1 havo made the of a much better looking woman, who is ten years younger, and has lots of money, who wants to marry me as soon as I can get a divorce. I don't see how I could have any better reasonthan thatforgettingadivorco."

A now club has been founded in Now Yok by a group of bibliophiles " to promote the literary study of the arts pertaining to tho production of books." Its first publication is a reprint of tho famous "Decree of Star Chamber concerning Printing," issued on July 11, 1037, the tyranny of which drew from Milton, seven years later, tho counterblast of his " Areopagitiea." It is stated that there has been no product of the modern press, in France or England, which rivals this example of American typography in exquisite execution. It is bound in vellum-paper, with a graceful design in gold upon the cover, and the typo is that of the first of living American printers, Mr Theodore de Vinnc.