A SERIOUS COMPLICATION.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3611, 7 February 1883, Page 4

A SERIOUS COMPLICATION.

" I see by the papers that a minister out AVest has been bounced for refusing to pay a gambling debt," observed the religious editor, as he dropped into the managing editor's sanctum to borroAV a pipeful of tobacco. " Any particular instructions as to the way in Avhich the subject should be handled V" "I'dbea little tender withhim," replied the managing editor, measuring out tobacco. ''The church is A-ery sensitive, and I wouldn't rub him hard. You might say that ho was penitent, and resigned on account of health." "They hip us on the first rattle," returned tho religious editor, " because the game was with two of the deacons, and the parson made a bitter fight against being- fired, claiming that the cards Aye re stocked on him, and that his opponents used the missionary money to raise him out Avith." " I kiunv, I know," murmured the managing director ; "but it Avon't do to say so. You'd have the Avhole religious community doAvn on us, and the clergy wotild rare up on the end. Can't you intimate that they contemplated uniting his church with another, and that he resigned his pulpit to go to Europe r" "Won't do at all I" clamored the religious editor. " On the trial he knocked over the policeman Avho was in to keep order, and he's uoav in gaol. AYe ought to get someAvhere near the facts." "That's so r" muttered the managing editor. "If Aye don't say something about it, tho ministers Avill be doAvn here in a body to-morrow, and if avc giA-c it straight there'll be a frightful roAV. Look here: Suppose you just say that he failed to reconcile the atonement Avith his couscionce, and therefore- he was bounced. They all liko that." "I don't 2C9 ho?/ thai helps i_," !

growled the religious editor. "He stood 011 fours against a flush royal and it Avas a jack pot. He raised it until the missionary money was up, and shay it Avith the interest of the church debt. On the show doAvn he was licked, but he grabbed the pot and lifted out. Noav the question is how you want it commented on." "You can't figure it out that he was throAvn from a horse, or run over by a reaping machine, could your" groaned the managing editor, tearing his hair. "Say, suppose you say he Avals jabbed by a pitchfork. That Avill fix it.' "No, it won't," replied the religious editor doggedly. "'He's got tho money and Avon't give it up. Noav, Avhat shall'l say." Can't you lot him clown somehow . ' moaned the managing editor. "It'll never do to get the Avhole Christian population down on us for telling the truth, and they'll drop sure if you do it. Think of something can't you .' "Of course, I can," replied the religious editor triumphantly. That's what 1 was Avaiting for you to say. I shall simply mention that the brother is accused of eloping Avith a school teacher in the High School. That will please the ladies and make the ministers grin to think ho got caught. That's let lis right out." " Great head ! great head !" grinned the managing editor. _" By your scheme you get in iioavs and gain the sympathy of the Christian AA.rldfor the brother. Groat head !" And the two editors separated, avoll pleased with the solution of a question that at first rivalled the Egyptain complication.—Brooklyn Eagle.