A SIMPLE CULLED MAN.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3216, 20 October 1881, Page 4

A SIMPLE CULLED MAN.

' I has come to you for some advice, Kurnel, as I don't know nuflm about pollyticks,' said an old colored man to a candidate for Congress ; ' we ain't fit no how to mix up in pollyticks.' ' Why, uncle Mose, I look upon you as one of the most intelligent of your race ! I can learn from you.' _ The old man shook his head depreciatingly, and producing a nickel asked, ' Kurnel, how much am a nickel wuff ?' ' Ha, ha, ha—very good ! I have always said there is more genuine humor in the African race than in any other.' 'But, serious, boss, how much is it wuff.' ' Five cents.' 'Jess 'zamine dat ar' coin, boss, and lemme know hits cash value. The candidate took the coin, examined it, and returned it with the remark that it was not worth anything, as it was a bad nickel. ' But, a'posin' it controls fifty votes ob de risin' sons ob liberty ? ' ' A most worthy organisation.' ' And s'posin' I was to tell dem voters dat a prominant candidate had cheated this ole niggar ?'

'Who was it?' asked the candidate breathlessly. ' Nebber mind, boss ; I'm hunting for information now. S'posin' I was to tell 'em one ob de candidates had gub me dafc leud nickel ?' The candidate looked worried, and again asked the name of tho fiendish candidate. ' You tire de man ! You gub me dat ar' nickel in de change for white-washin' yore fence. I has done wor for all de udder four candidates, and you is de only one who has taken advantage ob de ignorance and simplicity ob de culled race. De secret has been confined to my own breast, but hit am struggling foah freedom. Boss, how much did I heah you say dis lead nickel ham wuff in a close election like dis heah one is gwine to be ?' The Caucasian statesman rested his massive brow on his band and thought, and thought, and thought. ' Hit's getting late, and dar am a biznesß rneetin' ob de risin' sons dis ebening.' The statesman wrote in a bold round hand ' Fifty dollars' on a blotting pad, and pushed it across the table. Tho old man took the pencil and changed the fifty dollars into one hundred dollars. 'They will not support the other candidate ?' ' Does I look like a deceptive unreliable niggah ? Does I look like a ficticious culled man ? De risin' sons will rally round yer like yer was a demijohn.' The money was paid over, the candidate remarking, ' This is my contribution towards establishing a school in your ward. I want to see the coloured man more intelligent, I do?' ' I hope there <ire no moah lead nickels in dis money ?' ' I hope so, too.' 'We need schools powerful bad, becase we is so ignorant and liable to be tuk in by designin', bad men.' ' But, now, give me that nickel.' ' Heah it am. I ain't got no moah use foah it. You is the las' candidate dat I have been to see with dat ar' nickel. I have done clared* more den tree hundred dollars wid dat nickel, All de udder tree candidates has done paid up dar assessments, heah, heah !' And the old scoundrel went off into one of his indescribable guffaws.