LIME-KILN PHILOSOPHY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3192, 21 September 1881, Page 4

LIME-KILN PHILOSOPHY.

" What I was gwine to remark," began the old man as Elder Toots finally got his feet drawn back under the bench, " am to de effeek dat one-half of the solid injoyment I could take in dis world if let alone am split by a set of men whom I airnestly hope de nex' generashun will cast into the sea. I can't flick up a paper widout being startled by de announcement dat we eat too much, sleep too little, sit up too late, go to bed too airly, dress too warm or too cold —walk too much or too little. Dβ cronkers am constantly afc work to put up de rest of us on de ragged aige of anxiety. One day we hear dat consumshun has become our nashunal complaint. Nex' day it am predicted dat de fewel supply of de world am runnin' short. Next fing we h'arof am de statement dat de aiverage of human life am growin' shorter, or dat eight men out of ten have liver complaint, or dat a comet am ' proachin' de airth. Dai-'s suthin bein' hunted up an' shot off at us every day in de y'ar, an' il has got to dat pass dat de man who lies down at night dreads dat he may nebber see do moon again, an' he gits up to wonder if de conflagrashun gwine on in de sun won't burn tip his garden truck befo' night. I have been finkin all dese fings ober. I has been worried an' harrassed an' half scart to death ober de drift period, de predicted climatic changes, do astronomical changes an' de sudden diskiveries dat human life am shortenin , up like an ole clothes line on a rainy day. I has got to dat pitch dat I'm goin' to sot down in my cabin with a pan of apples on de right ban' and a pan of popcorn on de left, an' let de world turn bottom up an' be hanged to her. If white folks want to go on worry in' ober science an' philosophy an' predickehuns an' prophecies, let 'em do it; but my advice to de cull'd race am to worry ober nuffin higher 'n de roof of a house or deeper down dan de bottom of a cellar. When your day's work am dun, sot clown in the big cheer, light yer pipe, an' let de ehil'en and de dog loose fur a good titne." —Detroit Free Press.