THE MEWL.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3106, 11 June 1881, Page 4

THE MEWL.

A BOY'S PAPER OS NATURAL HISTORY.

The mewl is an anermul which wus born after Noer built the ark. The rinoserus wus in the ark, hut there ain't no aceouu! >f the mewl being there, an' I guess ho wusn't, 'cos ho would've bruised around in it an' made trouble. Noer landed on Mount \rerat, but if the mewl had been in the ar'< there ain't no telling where Noer would've landed. Tbe chances are he would've benn ; kilt by the mewl, 'cos a mewl don't like to ! ,be cooped up :it ain't in his nater. Mount Arerat is a big hill in the Holy Land, and there "Moer turned loose the unerkorn an' ;the lamb, an' the liuns roared.

? If I ain't wrong, Mount Arerat was the 'place where the profit Eliger flew up in i x blaze of fire. Sum boys who go craw-fis'tin' ■iri Sunday call the profit Lige. Iv'e got a '/log named Lige. He's a brindle bull-do.; ■md won't back down for a cirkular saw Dad bought him from Jim Jones's unkle. Tim Jones's grandma is hip-shot, an' weir* ■\ plum-coloured glass eye an' shouts ot camp meetin's. Dad bought the dog to keep the niggers outen the water melon patch, an' it's wrong to call the profit Lhr Bad boys ain't, got no respect for the profits no how. I'm the head in my Suoiltv school class. Deakun Smith owned a bi„ roan mewl, an' he had a wart on his leg. a' 1 ' a Roman nose. A man named Wilkins who loafes around t>'yin' to get on kurriner's juries tole Deakun Smith to pull a hair ■ niton the mewl's tail, an' tie it round the wart, and it would come off in two d ays. Deakun Smith pulled the hair outen the mewl's tail. Doctor Jimson ses that ')eakun Smith, won't be able to pass the eontribushin box for two week 3. He was kicked through a bord in thn ■jfummick, an' fell in a was' nest bigger'u a door-mat. Dad tole Widder Spriggs that he would rather work in a powder facktery than fool with a mewl's tail. Dad has handled mewls. He ses that a mewl and a savings bank won't do to trust no way you can fix it,- that a mewl will let you ride him thirty years just to git a chance to fall off a bridge with you. Never let a mewl with lots of white in his eye point his tail at you head. Dad ses it ain't safe, an' won't miss its aim once in a thousand. The best way to hitch a mewl in a waggun is to hire a nigger. A rnowl has to get up an' dust to git away with a nigger. They are kin, somehow. The Missoury mewl is an Amerikin institushun, but the Spanish mewl kin telerskope his hine legs an' is a perferk tornader when he gits mad. You kin tame the wild Bengoil tiger, but keep away from tho Spanish mewl. 'Hie gote is next to the mewl for meanness, an' the mewl can't be beat.—Now Orleans Times.