THEATRICAL A NEC OTES.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3058, 14 April 1881, Page 3

THEATRICAL A NEC OTES.

BY EDWARD C MPTON.

A DOUBTFUL COMriIMENT.

Charles Mathews used to tell a good story in support of the truth of the remark anent a Scotchman, a joke, and a surgical operation. When " starring" in Edinburgh, his landlord, who seldom attended any other public meeting save the " kirk," _ asked Mathews if he would oblige him with " a pass for the playhoose." This favour being readily granted, the "glide mon" donned his cheerful black suit, and witnessed Mr Mathews's two great performances, namely, Sir Charles Coldstream in Used Up, and Plumper in Cool as a Cucumber, both considered to be certain " side-splitters." Meeting his landlord on the stairs as he proceeded to his own room after the performance, he was cordially thanked by that gentleman, of whom he then inquired how he had enjoyed the entertainment. " Weel," said the Northerner, "it pleased me vara much, ye ken, and I conseeder you played unco' naturally; but hey, mon, Fd a hard matter to Tceepfrom laughing!" "OF AN INQUIRING TURN OP MIND." A Scotch actor, "of credit and renown," named William L , was playing Pepper or Hot Frost in the drama of The Orange Girl at the Kilmarnock Opera House one Saturday night during the winter of 1875. Being a thorough "home bird," and his family being settled in Glasgow, he naturally wished to spend the time from Saturday to Monday "by his am fireside," but alas! tho trains did not run after half-past nine. Our pai'ent, however, was not to be cheated out of his holiday, so he managed to " make it all right" with the driver of the mail cart, and at midnight was homeward bound. As they neared the first place of call, the driver bade the companion get off and walk past it (his presence on the cart being an infringement of the rules), and he would overtake him. No sooner said than done, but as the noble father proceeded on his way, a policeman's bullseye flashed in his face, and the following colloquy ensued :— "Weel, and who are you?" "A traveller."

" And wheer do you come frae ?" " Kilmarnock." "And wheer are you ganging tae P' " Glasgow." A pause and a look. " And what's your calling]?" "lam an actor."

" And wheer have you been performing tho nicht ?" "At the Opera House, Kilmarnock."

Another pause and a keener look at our hero.

" Why, mon, I was there. What are you called ?" " William L ."

" And what pairt did you take ?" " Pepper Frost." " He with the white hair and whiskers ?" " The same."

A third pause, then another long scrutinising look at the altered appearanoe of his victim, and then the never to be answered question. " And how auld are you, Willum ?" CHARITY ENDS AT HOME.

A celebrated actress, being imbued with compassion for the sufferers in the disastrous "Cotton Famine," kindly volunteered her valuable services, and played two nights (at Liverpool I think) for their benefit. Of course the house was crowded, and many were the expressions of admiration, both for the actress and for the women, bestowed on the fair performer. At the conclusion of the second night's entertainment, there were loud calls for the gifted artiste, and in response to the applause which greeted her appearance before the curtain, she spoke in accents not unmoved by emotion the following words, which, if few in number, were at least entirely to the point:—" Ladies and gentlemen, Heaven bless you for coming forward in such numbers to aid the good work I have done my best to promote. Believe me, assistance is much needed for the poor sufferers. Heaven bless you! I am here in a good cause, the cause of charity! Ladies and gentlemen, good-by. Next year I hope to be with you again, and do a little on my oivn account! Heaven bless you!" {Exit). AN AWKWARD RESURRECTION. I was playing Romeo one night at Birmingham, and we had arrived at that scene which finishes with the killing of Tybalt by the sword of Romeo. As this scene is usually " closed in" well up the stage to allow Juliet's chamber to succeed it immediately, the representative of "the fiery Tybalt" is always asked to die in the third or fourth entrance (i.e., at the back of the stage), and to lie close until the flats are run on, and he is hidden from view. Tybalt received my sword in the usual effective fashion, and, treating the audience to a tremendous " back-fall," dropped clown stiff, and stark, ancl dead ! The prompter at once gave the signal for the flats to be pulled on, but alas ! the scene-shifters were " pulling" at something else, and did not respond, the only movement being a shuffling of feet, caused by some of the employes rushing " next door" to fetch the delinquents. Having heard the whistle, and listened to the consequent shuffling of feet, our friend Tybalt concluded that all was right, and, calmly sitting up, he very methodically put his collar to rights, fidgetted with a button at his neck, decently pulled down his Shakespearean shirt, and, shaking the dust off his wig, turned around to get up, when to his astonishment and dismay, he encountered the amuse gaze of the large audience fixed intently on him ! With a horrified " My G !" he rapidly measured his length a second time, and the scene-shifters having returned, the flats were rapidly run on, amid the uproarious laughter of every spectator before and behind the scenes ! A NOVEL KEEPSAKE. A lady star aappened to be playing the legitimate drama at Belfast, and the run of the pantomime being only just over, sundry grotesque and humorously characteristic " properties" were continually cropping up at unfortunate moments. The play was Ingomar on the night I am going to speak of, and Parthenia was about to offer the " noble savage" her dagger, with the speecli concluding with the words " Take this," when she discovered, with the usual sickening feeling that comes ever one in such cases, that she had omitted to bring on the weapon in question. Off she rushed to tho wing in the middlo of her speech, and excitedly demanded of nobody in particular her dagger. Of course it wa3 not forthcoming, ancl the actress, driven to desperation, hastily caugh up the first article in the form of a dagger that attracted her, at all times, somewhat near-sighted vision. On she rushed again, recommenced her speech, Thou shalt not go Without ono gift that in some distant time May call back my image to thy memory. and with the words " Take this," handed the astonished and completely dumbfoundered Ingomar — a property carrot ! I believe the curtain was lowered before Mrs Lovell's pathetic story could be quietly resumed. LOYAL —BUT NOT TRTJE. It's all very well to be a " true subject," but some persons are apt to be so carried away by their respect for the Throne that they can never let slip an opportunity of making public their very loyal feelings. One of this kind was a capital actor (let us call him Harry Coburn), who happened to be

playing Captain Thornton in Hob Soy, and was, therefore, required to give out the following sentence, "If I have been deceived by these artful savages, I know how to die for my error, without disgracing the King I serve, or the country that gave me birth !" Just as he was going on, it suddenly occurred to him that, as Victoria was the then reigning Sovereign, it would be more becoming to him to substitute tho word Queen for the word King, and wind up the speech right loyally with "the Queen I serve," instead of with " the country tbat gave me birth." Whether, however, his strong notions of loyalty made him careless of all else, or whether he got "muddled" by so hastily attempting a transposition in so familiar a speech, no one could ever tell, but he certainly produced a marked impression by the following new reading, which he delivered most emphatirally and impressively—" If I have been deceived by these artful savages, I know how to die for my error without disgracing the country I serve, or the Queer? that gave me birth !" I believe he was dubbed Prince Harry after this.