THE TROUBLES OF A POET.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3011, 18 February 1881, Page 4

THE TROUBLES OF A POET.

While Colonel Bangs, editor of the Argus, was sitting iv the office one day, a man whose brow was clothed with thunder entered. Fiercely seizing a chair, lie slammed his hat on the table, hurled his umbrella, on the floor, and sat down. "Are you the editor?" he asked. " Yes.'" " Can you read writing ?" " Of course." " Bead that, then," he said, thrusting _at the colonel an envelope, with an inssripfcion upon it. « b » said the colonel, trying to spell "That's not aB. "It's an S," said the man. , "S; oh, yes, I see! "Well, the words look a little like ' -alt for- dinner,' or 'Souls if .-tinners,' " said the Colonel. " No, sir," replied the man, " nothing of hhe kind! That's my name—Samuel H. Bunner. I knew you couldn't read. _ I called to see you about that poem of mine you printed tho other day on the ' Surcease of Sorrow.' " " I don't remember it," said the Colonel. "Of course you don't; because it went into the paper under the infamous title of ' Smearcase To-morrow.' " . , " A stupid blunder of the compositor s, I suppose." " Yes, sir, and that's what I want to see you about. The -way in which that poem was mutilated was simply scandalous. I haven't slept a night since. Itexposedmeto derision. People think lam an ass. Let me show you." " Go ahead," said the colonel. " The first lino -when I wrote it read in this way: •* J-.ylntr on a -weeping willow, underneath a gentle elope." That is beautiful, poetic, affecting. Now how did your vile sheet present it to the public ? ' There it is ! Look at that! Make it read this way : " hying to a weeping widow to induce her to elope, i Weeping widow, mind you ! A widow ! 0 thunder and liglitning! This much, its enough to drive a man crazy!' 'I'm sorry, , Raid the colonel; ' but —' 'E;it look a-here at the fourth verse,' said the poet. ' That's worse yet. What I said was— " Cart tfiy pearls before,the swine, and lose them ia the mire. , j 1 wrote that out clearly and dictinctly, in a plain round hand. Now, what does your compositor do ? Does he catch the sense of that beautiful sentiment ? Does it sink into his soul ? No, sir ! He sets it up in this fashion. Listen : "Cart thy pills before sunrise ana love them if they hurt" New, isn't that a cold-blooded outrage > on a man's feelings ? I'll leave it to you if it isn't. , 'It's hard, that's a fact,' said the colonel. ' And then take the fifth verse. In the original manusoript it said, plain as daylight— " Take away the jingling money; it is only glitter. dross!" A man with only one eye, and a cataract over that, could have reed the words correctly. But your pirate upstairs there, do you know what he did ? He made it read — "Take away thy jeeriug monkeys on a sorely glandertd hoss." Ry Georgre, I felt like braining him with a fire shovel ! I was never so cub up in my life.' *It was natural too, , said the colonel. ' There for instance, was the sixth, verse, I wrote — "I am weary of the tossing; of the ocean t.l it heaves ! " Its a lovely line, too; but imagine my horror and the anguish of my family when I opened your paper and saw tho line transformed into — "I am wearing out my trourers t 111 they're open at the knees!" That is a little too much ! That seems to me like carrying the thing an inch or two too far. I think I have a constitutional right to murder that compositor. Don't you?' ' I think you have. , ' Let me read you one more verse I wrote " I ewell the flying echoes as they roam ainontj the hills, And T fael mv soul awakening to the that thrills." Now, what do you s'pose your miserable outcast turned that into ? T7hy, into this : " I smell the frying , shoes as they ooast along the hulls. And I foel my soul mistaken in the erctary that wbirW G-ibberish, sir ! Awful gibberish ! I must slay that man. Where is he ? ' 'He is out, just now,' said the colonel. 'Come in to-morrow.' ' I will,' said the poet; ' and I will come armed.' Then he put on his hat, shouldered his umbrella, and drifted off downstairs.—Max Adeler.