PROFESSOR LANCEWOOD ON LADIES' NOSES.

Daily Southern Cross, Volume XIV, Issue 1021, 10 April 1857, Page 4

PROFESSOR LANCEWOOD ON LADIES' NOSES.

Under the assumed name of Christopher Lancewood, a favourite writer in ihe ' Glasgow Citizen ' contributes the following humoioua observations on the • celestial nose feminine," to that ) virnal, m the torm of a letter addressed to one Dr. Docct :— " Did you ever foil m love with a l.uly's nose" or did it ever occur to jou how important a part a beautiful nose plavs in the" game ot " Love at first sight ? On mv wav'by the steamer Evp^s, a tew weeks, ago, to that charming nook tor sea-bathing, and summer lesidence Kilmun [a beautiful village on the sea coast, some 40 miles from Glasgow] I was peifectly fascinated by an cx^A^o nose gracing the lace of a love y voungliclyoHboaul. Smile not. I speak advisedly. I had a disunet recoll-ction of having got an occasional glimpse of the nose betore on that delightful walk ext*ndin» from the fine old trees shading lulmun church to the°idy nnd comfr.itahlc hotel' the Aigyle, at Stone, where, after a btr .11, I love to " take mine ease. And such a nose! now that I had an opportunity ot studying it-aod it is a task both delicate and difficult to study a lady's nose, especially to photograph it, on the deck of a steamboat. A iuik- unmannerly str.m, you know, doctor deseives to be chastised with a rope s end. In such circumstances the philosophical lover of ladies noses must act on the advice given by the rustic^belle to her lover—" Look as ye werna* looking at me. The learned and ingenious author of ' >Jotes on fcoses has de«ciibed a great many kinds of this leading feature of the human race, and hab divided and sub divided noses into a var ety of classes, and discourses eloquently upon the various characteristics of the different classes, and indulges in a " finig •' nt certain incorrigible membeis that tkfy both classmcation and description. " The uobe I have taken to desciibe differed in some respects from any noticed in the work referred to. It would be difficult to say to what class it properly belonged-from its general appearance, fine proportions, and delicate and beautiful chiselling it resembM the finest type, of the classic Greek ; inclining very slightly into the RomanGreek ; and being distended in a small degree by the cogitativeelement.it approached the highest and most beautiful form which Mie oigan can assume. Marmontcl says," Un petit ties retrosuse renvets les lois d'un empit e." But this was not quite "le nez tetrousse' so greatly admired by Fienchmen, and withal so dangerous to the stability of empires— it had too little of the " turn up '' for that. The up-.rxrd tendency, however, was distinctly perceptible, imparti ng a degree of warmth and animation to the character, an 1 giving the organ the appearance at first sight o. having 1 made a narrow escape from being a pure celestia . Nosologists tell us that the t ewer of a nose depends upon its length in proportion to tue general profile. A nose, say they, should not be less than one-third of the entire length of the profile from the root of the hair to the tip of the chin, and t'ley aver that the character of a nose is weakened in i.UensiN vh-n it forms .either too great or too small an angle wit 1 - !■ ■ general profile of the face. Be it so with noses in gei <.i 'I, or the nose masculine in particular, but I should be sorry to quarrel with a pretty lady's nose, although it did occupy quite so much faceroom as this. The nose under consideration did not quite, p rnaps, come up to this stand ird ; indeed, had it done so it would not have harmonised so finely with the other featuies of the face. While " cheeks like roses, lips of ruby, eyes like diamonds wet wi' dew," are " plentiful as blaekberries,'* yet a really fine nose is one in a thousand. Can this be the reason it is to seldom mentioned. How few in describing a lady's face begin or end with her nose. A lovesick swain will 'u\k by the hour about the charms of his ladylove, and for all lie says about ie she /nay have no nose at all. I have no patience with such a donkey ; and should you ask him what kind of a nose she has got? why he answers— after a pause as if trying to recollect where her nose is placed- a .very good nose, I think— a very good nose ! Is it a snub nose ? or a Celestial nose 1 or a Itoman nose 1 or a Greek no.e ? or a composite nose? or a hawk nose ?or a cogitative nose ? Whether is it long or short— broad or sharp ? What argle does its basal line form with the upper lip ? or with the general profile ? The noodle stares aud is silent. But this culpable lgnorsnee of the nose is general, nay, all but universal. Nosology seems to be a proscribed science. An observant writer on the subject well remaiks, that — " When poets sing of her they lova, 1 ' They tell you that— "Her smile is like a morn in May, Her cheek excels the rose ; But did you ever find them say A word about her nose 1 "While such a neck ! and such a waist ! And such a foot she shows ; But you'll be ever in the dark About the dear one's nose." Now, why should this feature, the first you meet with, and one that holds such a prominent position on the face, be the only one passed by without notice ! '• Just suppose that the countenance had no nose, Pray, who would, or who could love such a face then ?'• Besides, although all the other features of a lady's face were faultless it she had a bad nose, her face is robbed of half its charms. Though her eye should be "A thing of fire, Brighest than the purest spar Prom the ca\es of Deibyshire ; Or a coruscating star Gleaming in the heavens when dim lit ;'' Yet if it is planted beside an ungainly nose, it loses half its power ot pleasing. And though her cheek should be "A thing of name, Drawn above the mantling blood, And than the peach's dow n much softer, And be touched a great deal ofter." And though her mouth should be •'A ruby ca^e, Holding lots of beauteous pearls," Tho' "sculptor could not carve it neater, Nor cold-cream make it any sweeter ," Yet all the beauty of the choek, and all that the pretty lip can say or do," will not make up for the prominent defect. . . Besides the form of the nnse, there is another thing not unworthy the study of the owner of one ->r more in his own power— l mean the colour of the nose. Your nose is a blunt, straightforward, candid sort ot a friend, and is not half so knowing as some otthe other features are, in keeping secrets. Once give your nose cause to

feel ashamed of your conduct, and its blush wi ll not be quite so evanescent, nor quite so lovely, as that which you admire mantling the fair cheek of a beau« teous young maiden — like the faint and filmy shadow of a fleecy cloud moving over the face of a lovely landscape, making it all the more charming. But such fiery noses as can reflect the rays of the sun with such inten sity as to kill the very <isheB in the bottom of the sea ; or which, when dipped into a bicker of burgundy, rnak« the generous liquor hiss as if Bailie Nicol Jarvie's hot poker were thrust into it ; or which burn the toes of any luckless musquito alighting on them, are, tortunately, out ot my way at present. Those must be very terrible noses, and very costly ones too. As a general rule you may rest as&uied that whenever you see a "jolly red nose," it takes something more potent to make and keep it so than "nutmegs and cloves." Probably you will think the case ol the "Good old English Gentleman," who indulged ui his cup oi sack, "to warm his good old nose," suggests rather a comfor.ablc state of matters. But a lady's nose, I need not slate, must be of the most evanescent and delicate tint—indicating the delicacy and purity of mind of its owner. You may rest assured all is not well with her when you see " Love's beautiful rose Give the slip to her cheek, and draw up with her nose." A humouinus wiiter on the "celestial" nose feminine remaiks -"We confess a lurking penchant, a sort of siiciki'ig affection which we cannot resist, for the celestial nose in a woman. It does not command our admiration and re-p<>ct like the Gi"t?k, to which we could bow down as to a goddess, but it makes sad woik with our affections. The impudence, Too, which is utterly unbi\n ible in a male celestial, and which seems to courc contact with the toe of one's boot, is in a woman, rathei piquant anil interesting. A celestial nose in a woman is frequently an index to wit, A celestial nosed won.on is only more witty than a simil irly gifted man, because the impudence which it lnvambly indicates, is backed by worn m's over ready tact and quickness " But I shall conclude at present with the following lines which I have somewheie met— applying the reply to the question, "What is a nose?" as a small instalment of what is due to the bjautiful nose I have been so chaimcd with — ♦•What's a nose ? A peerless rose, Gentle lady, is thine own, Like the mo^s enveloped rose, S icetest when 'tis fully blown ; Neither Grecian nor Unman, But the composite in woman, That's a nose."

Tkiat. or Fouu Reaping Machines and Steam Plouoii.— The trial of the machines came ofi last harvest on the farm of Mr. Hobbs, at Colehest r. The London ' Tunes' thus remarks upon the importance and great saving to farmers by the employment of such machinery :— •' A hot July and August have made harvest general altogether in an unprecedentedly short tune, and there aie not hands to cut it last enough. It would be a libeial allowance to put the mimbei seen at woik upon it yesterday at one to every 10 acres. The corn ought to be clown at once, and, at the present rate ot movement, it will not have been wholly cut ten days hence. It is really mjuied, for the last thing done by ripening grain is to convert the outer layer of its substance into bran; but how much moreseiious the injury may become any farmer knows who has seen thu effect of the wind upon dead-upe standing corn Bushels per acie have been lost by dilatory hai vest woik in this way, and a machine, therefore, which should do from two-thiuls up to tour-fifths of the harvest woik— for this is the pioportion vhich the labour ot cutting bears to tho whole woik of harvesting the crop— would, if generally employed, be an immense addition to the natural resources. A multitude of persons are thus inteics'cd in the subject of reaping by machinery 5 and it ought to be made known throughout the country that icapins: by machinery may be done more cheaply and as well as reaping by the han<t. lhe tiidls on Mr. Ilobbs's farm prove it. Crosskill s modification of the original"Scotch reaping machine, by Bell ; Burgess and Key's form of McCormick's American reaper, and Deane and Dray's machines, by Hussey, one having a side delivery, invented by Palmer of btock-tou-on-Toes, and the other a tipping platform, by which the corn is left in sheaves in the wake of the implement, thus requiring to be tied and lifted out of the way before it comes round again. These machines were working all day, and were set to work on level land and over aiuues, on standing corn and lying corn, on wheat and oats. The first made better work than the others over a very badly laid pait of the ciop, vOuch it was necessary to cut in a particular diwctun. to clear a space for Fowler's steam plough. The cost of the several machines in the order we have na< led them is, £42, £K) £32, and £25. respectively. Ami while there 11 an advantage in the side delivery of the corn as it is cut, which the fiist two machines lay in a continuous swathe, and the third deliveis inteinuUently in sheaves, we must confess a liking for the last-named cheaper, si nplei, and more compendious implement, althou-nby it the com is deliveied in its wake, thus needing to be tied and moved at oi.co. This machine, Hussey s, made by Djane and Dtay. with their tipping platform, lett as clean and short a stubole as any of the others, exceptin"- only the case of the second trial o\ei the laid corn on which the machines were set to work in a direction insulin" imperfect work. The other great feature ot th° day was the trial of Fowler's steam plough, by which, on Saturday last, one acre and sixteen perches of land were ploughed in an hour by eight- horse power of the engine used. Mr Fowler claims the prize offered by the Agncultuial Society for an economical application of steam power to the cultivation of land, and if the result of S lturday's experiment be not meiely an exceptional one, he deserves it. !J * Eight hoi ses would not plough more than half that quantity of land in the same time. _

How tip, UrAriNG Machine Originated*— in 1827, the Rev. Patrick Bell, sou of a farmer, arid at that time a student for the "coteh ministry, determined to invent a reaping machine. He had thought of the subject for years, and had, when a boy, seen a print of such a machine consti ucted by S i Sth, of Deanston ; which by the way, was ingenious, b l useless. One evening, aiter tea. while walking in hb father's garden, his eye was attracted by a pair of g •• lener's shears sticking m the hedge ; he took hold of t'uin, and began to cut the twigs of the blackthorn— perhaps idly, for want of thought ; but while so engaged, it struck him that tins was the principle that might be applied to cutting corn. At the present day, Bell's machine stands at the top of the prize list, it is curious to find that the very motion that suggested his whole invention has been totally abandoned. After much consideration he constructed a model, and then prepared a machine on a large scale. In order to keep his secret he made patterns in wood of eveiy part that required to be made of metal ; these he sent, piece by piece, separately, as he required them, to tho blacksmith, with instructions to make a thing of iron, or of steel, as like that sent as possible. When he received them back, he filed, ground, or otheiwisc finished them with his own hand : and, at length, was able to put the whole together iJis first experiment was made in along, narrow, empty outhouse. Into this out-house, when every one was away on the farm, he conveyed with a wheelbarrow as much earth as covered the floor to the depth of six inches, and pressed it down with his feet, then drew a sheat of oats from the bain yaid. and planted its stubby stalk in the mould. lie men shut and barred the door, and, putting himself in th« horse's place, pushei the machine through the ar Uncial crop. On arriving at the end of the shed, the young student found the crop all cut, but lying higgle Jv-piggledy. A distributor was required. The signs of the artificial harvest were cleared away, and, after many trials, he invented a canvas sheet, stretched on rollers, something on the same principle as the tapes which deliver the sheets on a steam p« inting machine, which delivered the cut corn in a regular swathe. He next devised the well-known reel for collecting the corn against the cutter. The whole machine was ready for work in the summer of 1828. I

A Syrian Dwelling llousr. — We first entered irora the sti c-et the room of the family; adjacent to which, and without a partition, was the stable. Passing on, we crept through a very low doorway or passage to another room, the door ot which was a little higher than that of the other. This- was our abode for a day and two nio-hts. It had a rickety door on one side into a lot ier street ; but this door had to be reached by se\ eval s'eps on the inside. There was no window, and no li«bt except from the door. The fireplace was in the middle of the room, with a small hole in the roof as a vent for the smoke. There was here also n, tannkr for bdkin". A hole sunk in thp floor is lined with pottery; this is°then heated by a fire kindled within it, and the dou»h is plastered on the sides, and so baked. There were tiays for silkworms in plenty, and several bins for o-rain. The roof was of the usual kind, supported by Tude props. It rained heavily duung the night, and the water found its way through upon us. Quite early in the morning we heard our host at work rolling the roof, and saw the same process going on with other houses. Goats, also, were cropping the grass growing on several roo f Si Later Biblical Researches in Palestine aud the Adjacent Regions

What Next? — Some of the banners sent to the Missouri invaders — worked by the ladies and blessed by the priests — bore upon them " For God and Slavery."

A Lucky Lvd. — Mr. Elliott, of South Brent, deceased, lias> left property to the amount of £20.000 to a little hoy, die fifth child of his nephew, a n'iggci's labourer hi Plymouth dock,