RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 31, Issue 154, 26 March 1938, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights On Current Events

(By

Kickshaws.)

The way Mussolini talks to France, he must think the place a franc failure. ♦ « ♦ Some cynics are wondering if it wasn’t 'an error to allow Germany to lose the Great War aud Italy and Japan to win it. Well, anyway, let’s hoi»e the motorists, don’t try to get value for their money out of the increased thirdparty rates. * • • Smuggling opium in a book with the inner pages hollowed out is an old method that, judging by the news, lias failed to fool the police authorities in New Zealand. Far cleverer methods have to b.e used these days, as a Chinaman discovered some years ago when he tried to smuggle opium into New Zealand in a bucket with a false bottom. The serious smugglers know all about that sort of ruse, but they usually rely on the principle of quantity versus quality. The method is to smuggle the drug or object inside tins of canned goods. But not every, tin contains a smuggled article. Only one tin in perhaps several thousand contains the “goods.” The chances of being found out are in proportion to the number of Canned goods. Obviously it is impossible to open every tin, and the clever smuggling gangs know this fact. In this way thousands of pounds of "snow” have found their way into countries where that particular drug is taboo.

The professional smuggler scorns the elementary methods of the amateur. Even the trunk With a false bottom lias become obsolete. Hollow walking sticks may sometimes be used to smuggle precious stones. A far neater way was found by one professional who had managed to get the precious gems on board ship to the country of destination. Eventually he persuaded some members of the crew to have a kick or two at a football that he had provided. The game waxed exciting Until at last an accomplice kicked the ball over the heads of the Customs officials and harbour fence almost into the waiting motor-car. One cannot do that sort of thing too frequently, however. It is not easy to smuggle large goods, as neighbouring potentates discovered when they tried to smuggle out of the country the- sacred white elephants of Siam. Eventually a pair were smuggled out, painted to resemble ordinary elephants, under the very noses of the Royal Guards.

\ Maybe the efforts of the folk in Wanganui to have an “h” inserted officially into their place-name will meet with success. They must not be too eager for the change .to made quickly. Possibly they may talre heart from the fact that Waari in the Waitemata country has made a dramatic Change to Sunnyvale. In a decade or two we shall all be talking about Whanganui, but perhaps we won’t. Nevertheless, places do change their names the world over. The difficulties are, however, great enough to keep Maggots End, in Britain, Maggots End for all time, and Snoreham-in-Ruins is still Suoreham-in-Ruins. On the other hand. Bugsworth has changed its name after a campaign lasting for a quarter of a century. The other places must wait. After all, Wait is still waiting. When the train stops at Wait, in Czechoslovakia, the porter cries Wait. The passenger asks where he is, aud he is told Wait.

This craze for altering th e names of places and things has even spread to Ireland. The Governor-General of the Free State was called Seneschal, in an effort to discard everythirfg that smacked of royalty and England. But Seneschal is not an Irish word. It means “steward,” and was used by royalty, especially in France, where the Seneschal of France was the, principal of five great officers of State under the Crown. The Irish, in fact, could not have found a name more steeped in royal traditions. Seneschal is, however, a minor matter, compared with the problems that beset Caernarvon. Until about 15 years ago this ancient Welsh stronghold was just plain "Carnarvon.” Reforming patriots, anxious to revenge the Anglicised outrage on their town, had the place renamed Caernarvon. But that was not the end of the trouble. The “v" in the name has Started another controversy. The committee of the Welsh National Eisteddfod is demanding that the "v” be supplanted by an "f,” on the ground that there are no “v’s” in the Welsh language.

While on the subject of names, it is a fact that trouble has been caused before now by giving inns unfortunate names. In the early days of the thirteen hundreds, publicans were compelled to put up a sign. But it was as well to show discretion in the matter, at any rate, in the reign of Edward IV. A publican, who kept a public-house named "The Crown,” lost his head for high treason, because lie said he would “make his son heir to the Crown.” We are more tolerant inlliese enlightened days, at any rate, in the British Empire. Nevertheless, the owner of a public-house in Kent called “The Red Cross,” came up against a curious obstacle. The War Office discovered that the sign contravened the Geneva Convention governing the use of the Red Cross. The owner was therefore advised to change the name to "The White Cross.” thereby breaking a tradition many hundreds of years old.

"With reference to bearded men m ‘Kickshaws’s’ column,” writes "M.1’..” "I would like to draw the attention of readers to the Parliament of New Zealand Lu 1861, the country’s third Parliament, a photograph of which I have. Every member in the group has a beard or partial beard. This Government was in power from 1861 to 1866. in those days there was no Premier, Mr. D. Munro was Speaker, and other members were Frederick C. Weid, William Stafford, F. Dillon Bell, William Fox, W. C. Richmond, H. E. Curtis, T. Henderson, R. C. Wood, W. R. Mantell, Crosbie Ward, Alfred , Donnett, W. Fltzherbert, J. Williamson, 11. Carleton, W. B. Rhodes, J. E. Featherston, A. de B. Brandon, T. Fraser, G. B. Gillies, G. Russell, W. W. Taylor, .1. C. Firth, C. K. Carter, J. C. Wilson, si. T. Cookson, A. Renall (well known later in Masterton, then representing Hutt), Alfred Saunders, J, O'Neill, A. H. Creyke, G. AV. Hall, T. Rowley, 11. S. Harrison, E. McLastran, G. Graham, J. D. Ormond, C. H. Kettle, T. Dick, R. Graham, J. C. Richmond, W. Colenso, W. Butler, A. E. White, W. E. Eyes. H. A. Atkinson, W. Willis, G, M. O’Rorke, A. Richmond, M. G. Nixon, W. Mason, F. Jollie, C. J. Taylor, J. Munro, E. Mayne, Sergeant at Arms: Major Campbell, Clerk of Parliament. I wonder what would happen if this bearded group were to come on the scenetcyiay.2 . -