RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 300, 15 September 1937, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current

Events

(By Kickshaws.)

We suspect that Japan’s real wool policy is to pull it over the eyes of the rest of the world.

The New Zealand batsmen in England, it is stated, played back too much. The All Black Tests have confused us u little, but we believe this put them off-side.

New Zealand scenery, says a film magnate, is practically unexploited because of the cost of transporting film stars and equipment. Wc often wondered why Nature was so kind to us.

"The position is,” we are told by an expert on the matter of haireutting, "can we get more than 1/6 for a haircut? You reach a point in prices where you come to diminishing returns.” Up goes the price of a haircut and the longer grows the hair, until you reach a point where the women have short hair and the men long hair. This shows how much we men are at the mercy of the Barbers' Disunion. We may reach a point at which our hair is so long we shall tell the wife we are off to have a permanent wave which takes three hours. But not all the three hours need be spent at the hairdresser's, because we men can see through such excuses. Anyway, it seems curious that the law of diminishing returns may be destined to produce shingles, bingles, pringles, permanent waves,'and even hair done up in a bun at the back in men. Maybe we shall grow pigtails or come to work with our hair in three lovely plaits or coiled round our brows after the manner of Cleopatra. The barbers have us in their hands. It is positively hairraising.

It must not be thought that eighteenpence is a large sum to pay for the pleasure of having the hair cut. The haircut is, after all, the only educational feature after school is over. It is the barber who tells us about tbe horse to back, the situation in Europe, China, Spain or drops some secret hint as to the next step that the Prime Minister will take. It is tbe barber who circulates news; "Mind you. I can’t say for sure, but . . .” It is the barber who "knows.” But for tbe fact that our hair grows when we stop growing, we should know as little as did when we left school. It will be obvious that Nature did a wonderful thing when by making our hair grow she placed us in the hands of the hairdresser, who also thinks the same. It is our hair that made it possible for him to marry; it is our hair that he and his wife eat every day. Their children are there because of our hair. The marvel is that we give our hair so generously, and, indeed, pay for the giving.

One may well ask what about the barber? Does he earn his money? After all, one can buy a newspaper for twopence, and a gramophone record, which can be turned off at* will, only costs tlie price of a haircut. What, then, does the barber do for his eighteenpence? He ciits hair, no less than 140,000 hairs in the case of fair folk, 100,000 hairs in the case of dark people, and only 30,000 in the case of' red-headed people. No wonder that red-headed people are bad tempered. They go about thinking how they are done down by the barber. Red-headed, people, however, rarely go bald. That should help them through life, except that orang outangs are also redheaded ; but perhaps it is unwise to point that out. In cutting the 100,000 hairs the barber makes 450 snips, or about one-twenty-fifth of a penny per snip. Can we honestly say that we do not get value /or money? Moreover, the barber is confronted with the problem of what to do with the cut hair after the haircut. It appears that it is useless stuff. It is too short to mix with plaster, and too short for stuffing cushions. It is swept up and burnt, for which the barber has to pay.

The pigmy woman from Africa, 27| inches without her socks, who is a passenger on the Awatea, seems small enough. But she is in reality only comparatively small, because there have been smaller. “Princess Topaze,” for example, fell short of two feet by no less than four inches. She was of French 'parentage and was born at Buenos Aires in 1875. Nevertheless this little person was larger than Lucia Zurate who weighed only 51b. at. the age of 18 years. Francis Flynn, alias “General Mite,” was a giant in comparison. He stood no less than 21 inches and turned the scale at t)ib. At the age of 20 years he met little Milly Edwards, a cuddlesome woman, who weighed 71b. and stood 20 inches in height. They were married and so far as is known lived happily together. The son of a labourer who was born at Oakham in 1619 was destined to grow into a sturdy man exactly IS inches high. lie was served up in a cold pie before the Queen and was taken into her service, fought a duel with a sixfooter, killed him and got into disgrace.

In addition to isolated cases of men in miniature, travellers long ago have come back witli tales of dwarf communities in various parts of'the world. One such community in the Belgian Congo lias been the recruiting ground for exhibitions for many years. These people are usually just over 4ft. in height with ape-like expressions. They live in the forests and are skilled in shooting poisoned arrows at intruders. Some few years ago another race of dwarfs was discovered in the dense inland forests of the New Hebrides. These Santo dwarfs are not more than 3ft. 6in. in height. z In features they are strangely like the African pigmies and have caused experts to think furiously how they got to the New Hebrides. A still smaller race of«pigmies has been found in an onl-o' *howay part of Manehukuo. This village of dwarfs numbers about SOO souls. They are all under 3ft. in height. The women are usually taller than the men.

If “Lumberjack” cares to write either to “Kickshaws” or to the Branch Manager. "The Dominion.” Masterton, ho will be put in touch with readers who have the book of verse he wants.

“R.1.P.” says in connection witli his query about guaranteed rises that the third offer is the best one. * » » "To decide an argument will you ■kindly supply the names of th" places of tlie Prime Minister, Mr. Savage, and the Hon. W. F. Massey?” says "A Reader.” [Mr. Savage was born at Benalla, Victoria, Australia: Mr. Massey at Limavody, County Derry, Ireland.] * « * A highbrow young student named Guest , At exams was considered the buest. But in general knowledge He let down his colledge Bv failing to know of Mae Wuest —Grant.