RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 249, 17 July 1937, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current Events

(By

Kickshaws.)

Farmers, it is claimed, will take anything from a man in the city. Well, the quicker they take our rates the better. New Zealand’s coastal fishing grounds, it is stated, are seriously depleted. Our rivers and lakes, on tlie other hand, are fuller than ever of the whoppers that just didn't get eaught. « $ « A visitor to Germany is impressed with tlie pocket-handkerchief farms of that country. In New Zealand the poor farmer has his nose so close to tlie grindstone he has no use for pocket handkerchiefs.

Regarding the temperatures of Turkish baths, mentioned recently in this column, a reader says that'when he went to have a Turkish bath at Leicester Square, London, the thermometer was standing at 255 degrees. Moreover, there was a notice apologising for the fact that it was not at 300 degrees. A special system of air conditioning was used, such that the air was very hot and very dry. Tho effect was like champagne.

The King, we note, has opened a national library for Wales which fills a long-felt want. One may.well ask: What does Wales want with a library? After long and earnest thought, it would appear that Wales wants a library to put her words in. For a very long time she has been wondering wha t to do with Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllandisiliogogogoch. At one time it was thought that the best thing was to put this in a railway station, but it was found that, after the sign stating the name of the station was erected, it ran into the sign of the next station. For a very long time this place was known as Llanfair, until eventually the railway authorities gave the place a magnificent railway station platform upon which was inserilx’d every letter of the name. Now this name can take an honourable place in the new library that the King has opened for Wales. It will, no doubt, find a resting-place in the library along with other Welsh words for which no use has ever been found outside Wales, such as Prydferthwch Gogledd Cymry and the like.

Lest it be thought that Wales is the only place where long words are normal, we hasten to add that we folk in New Zealand do not make the most of tlie only place we have with a name worth mentioning. There is a place in Hawke’s Bay, a hill, in fact, on which Tanenuiarangi, the husband of heaven, played his flute to his beloved. This charming place is called Tamatauwhakatangihangakoauaotanenuiarangikita - natahu. That, surely, is worth a whole new library to itself. Yet New Zealanders very rarely refer to this place. Why Is that? In addition to these little mouthfuls with an inordinate supply of letters, there are other more concise names which are almost impossible to handle. One's heart goes out to those announcers who know that in the course of the news bulletin they must make an effort to pronounce Szczebrzeszyn. Parliamentarians unable to pronounce “Legislative Assembly” get over the difficulty by saying “in another place.” Even a place like Buenos Aires has its pitfalls. The real name is Cieudad de la Santissima Trinidad y Puerto de Nuesta Senora de Buienos Aires.

In ordinary conversation we get out of the difficulty of long words by wisely using shorter ones. One can but wonder if chemists and others are ever hoist by the words which they create to indicate their weird chemicals. One cannot imagine a long discourse between experts on the merits of noultrainisorescopiossilioovoleanokonionia and, shall we say, piperidinzinepentamethylenedithiocarbamat. Moreover, if a German expert wished to impress upon the other two the merits of gesundheitswiederherstellungsmittelszusain - inenmischungsverhaltniskundiger, one wonders if,the poor fellow would be able to get the word in edgeways. But. then, the German language revels in long words. Should you visit the office of the Vierwaldstaedter Lake Steamboat Company, there is a looker labelled simply Vierwaldstaedterseedampfschifffahrtsactiegesellschaftsoberverwaltun. - gsbureaudieneruniformskuopfpo 1 i t u r. AU it means is, “Button polish for the uniforms of the office staff.” In New Zealand our notices rarely get beyond a terse “Keep out,’’ or “This means you.”

One must not take too seriously the new shell, recently mentioned iu the news, which liberates a number of knives that cut barbed wire. There are so many promising ideas that get nowhere, patent attorneys are apt to be pessimistic regarding new ones. Take, for instance, the window-pane to catch burglars. The pane in question creates an intense vacuum when broken by a burglar. So intense is the vttuum that the burglar is sucked through the window and lands with a thud on the draw-ing-room carpet. This excellent invention is not yet fitted to every house. Take the inventor who designed hornrimmed spectacles for hens so that other fowls should not peek them—well, where shall we take the inventor? Then there is the invention for catching motor thieves. It consists of harpoons lilted to every lamp-p: st. When a man steals a car the police press a button. The harpoons are liberated, penetrate the tires of the car, and there you are. Perhaps the only invention that might well be pursued is that of a special scent designed to attract butterflies. It is painted on golf balls. When you lose a ball you go where the butterflies are thickest.

“W.11.P.” writes: “Where is this Dixie of song and fable?” [Dixie, as a definite and defined place, has no existence. It is a popular name given to those southern States of the United States which lie to the south of the Mason and Dixon line. There are various reasons given for the name, one of the most feasible being the paper money issued by the Bank of New Orleans before the Civil War. On the back of the 10-dollar bills was the word “dix” (French for “ten”) and other lettering in French, hence the south, particularly Louisiana, became known as the land of Dixies and, therefore, Dixie-land.) Here is a teaser to try out during the week-end. The answer will be given on Monday. Trade prices marked in code: The first article, worth 9/6. was marked S/N. The second, marked, D/U, was worth 7/2; another 1/A/OH T over L. What was the code word? I offer Thee— Every flower that ever grew, Every bird that ever flew, Every wind that ever blew. Good God! Every thunder rolling. Every church bell tolling. Every leaf and sod. Laudamus Te. —lrish hymn.