RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 30, Issue 121, 16 February 1937, Page 8

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current

Events

(By

Kickshaws.)

It is claimed that New Zealand has exhausted its knowledge of fish. Anglers have been dropping lines on the subject for years.

It is noted that Senator Glass is to fling the first stone in the Roosevelt Supreme Court controversy. The invention of unbreakable glass no doubt accounts for his rashness.

The new railway line to Gisborne, it is said, is lined with goat farms. Perhaps this explains why this line got so many people’s goat.

We note with relief that, for purposes of foreign consumption the Nazi salute is to be modified. Moreover, German ambassadors are to be spared the problem of saluting, as hitherto, according to the custom of the country. This will save the countries concerned from awkward situations. This saluting business, in fact, is so universal and so different from country to country one day ambassadors will have to be armed with a saluting chart. The traditional salute of the outback in rica was, if it is not still, an unusually *

well directed expectoration. In the early days the traditional salute was the kiss. According to country, one kissed the brow, the knee, the toe, the hand, the ground, the hem of the garment, or oneself on the fingers. In fact, there is at least one country where it has been customary to shake hands with oneself as a traditional salute. Hitler, however, has - not gone quite so far as that. One can, therefore, congratulate him upon his restraint. Other forms of salute, once traditional in the rural districts of Britain, included the salute of the half-brick, equivalent to the “K. 0. once so popular in some of the less ruly republics of South America.

Mention of salutes makes It interesting to wonder if the next war will bring along anything of an improvement in this, the soldier’s burden. Bullets and shells are to lie expected in war, but the salute took the civilised countries by surprise. A walk down any busy main street made oue realise that the real problem of war was the saluting problem. A saunter down to Trafalgar Square, London, or its environs, made one realise that the task at certain hours was practically an impossibility. Moreover, there was as much suggestion in the salute as there is In the wink. The Guards saluted with that overconfident tremulous overswing of momentum that gave the impression that a bee was attacking the saluter. The sergeant saluted the newly-joined officer with an aplomb that seemed almost a challenge. The click that resounded when the colonel entered was only less in degree to the click that the colonel gave when the general entered. One wondered, indeed, if some really high emissary of war had arrived, like the God Mars himself, whether the opposing armies would not have rendered themselves incapacitated by clicking off their own heels and shaking their hands to pieces.

The postal puzzles that children set in writing to Santa Claus have their counterparts among the grown-ups. In fact, most postal authorities keep a band of trained experts to re-direct letters directed to heaven or to more homely addresses. It is a slogan that whenever possible a letter must be delivered. For example, the Wellington authorities were not dismayed when they received an envelope that bore the address: “.Mrs. Abcdefghljkmnopqrstuvwxyz, Spud Street. Windy." Readers may care to work out the answer for themselves. In that case do not read any further until you have thought. Those who have not thought or do not care to think, or can’t, should note the fact that the alphabet given _ omits the letter “L." "Windy,” of course, Is obvious, and almost everyone will know that the letter was intended for the city of Wellington, famed for its zephyrs. The correct address is, therefore, Mrs. Noel, Murphy Street, Wellington. There appear to be people frith a special type of brain who produce letters of this nature in order to keep an already busy postal department busier still.

Sometimes postal puzzlers are genuine and have been caused by the fact that the person addressing the envelope has no clear idea of the address. For example, one foreign firm, a little hazy about London addresses, dispatched an envelope to King David, Colo, Obanvidok, London. This sounds mysterious enough, even Biblical. Nevertheless, a little thought will show that the envelope was intended to go to King, David and Co., Ltd., Holborn Viaduct, London. One must, nevertheless, congratulate the Wellington experts when they sorted out the following address : Kaupi, Kanine, Wellington. It was enough to stump all but the most determined. Eventually light appears to have dawned. The letter was redirected to its correct address: Kaupokonui, Taranaki. In this connection it is remarkable th-t the postal authorities in England were .ble to make anything out of an envelope that bore the legend Schltenhammggos. Like those crossword puzzles, one soon learns the tricks of the game. The experts did not take long to send the letter long to “Cheltenham, Glos.” Now and again Kickshaws gets letters with curious efforts at an address.

While on the subject of postal addresses, and augmented by the startling fact that very soon there will be some thousands of fiew houses to be given postal addresses, one may well sympathise with the postmen who are said to prefer numbers to names. After all, one can find a number, provided that the Wellington habit of omitting them is not overdone. On the other hand, there is no sequence that can show why a “Harbour View” should come after “Comfykot.” If householders are to be allowed the distinction of owning houses with real names, usual appurtenances, water, h. and e„ stone’s throw Town Hall, some sort of sequence should be made compulsory. For example, not more than one bouse per 100 that has no view of the harbour should be allowed to l>e called "Harbour View,” or any of the varieties of this misrepresentation such as abound in the Maori language. Only two “Seaviews” per road ought to be permitted, so that the postman can be sure to direct his steps to the only two houses in the whole street that cannot see the sea. As things are. the poor postman who sets out in the morning to seek “The Nook” may be overtaken by night and forced to shoot his income tax form into “The Den” in despair.

v "Will you kindly tell me what It the approximate weight of a naval 16inch gun (without mountings)?” asks “T. 8. [About 45 ton*. l