GOOD MANNERS

Dominion, Volume 29, Issue 226, 20 June 1936, Page 21

GOOD MANNERS

The Old and the New Have you heard it said that the modern youths and maidens have no manners? Some members of the com munity are saying it constantly: the modern parent has failed in the teaching decorum; politeness and prudence are things of the past; obedience is rarely expected, and even young children have opinions of their own and take opportunities of expressing them.

We still teach our children to say “Please” and “Thank you.” Those, states a writer in the “Sydney Morning Herald.” are the lessons of Do-as-you-would-be-done-by as are all the expressions of kindly give and take, something which we call a sporting spirit. Conventional rules of personal behaviour change so frequently that none of us shall say what is the correct thing, but meanness is an offence in every generation. duplicity is always a breach of good manners, and hypocrisy is intolerable. A child is naturally frank and outspoken. He will say “Yes” and “No” when he means “Yes” and “No.” If we try to make him say the reverse to please public opinion wo are encour* aging untruthfulness in him. Every day children are being punished for telling untruths, and the adults with whom they live are the worst offenders. A child is made untruthful, either following a bad example, or in self-defence

If a child is able to say honestly what he thinks, if he has the courage of his convictions, and is generous and kindhearted he has the necessary groundwork of foundation of good manners. The superficial structure can be added later. And as he comes in contact with others he adds this a little at a time as he finds it necessary. After all the world seems to move so much faster today, we must allow for a number of changes, and we will not sigh because a lot of time-honoured ceremonies are gradually discontinued. But to-day we expect more than a blind compliance with the requirements of good form. We do not now anticipate that our children will grow up accepting without question a traditional code of conventions, satisfactory for them because it was sufficient for their forefathers.

Times'have changed- The old landmarks are removed, and the modern parent cannot train his children in the ways of past generations because present conditions require an entirely different approach. We cap no longer live by a catechism of social etiquette: we must now bring reason to bear on every problem as it presents itself and, making the most of our intelligence, solve it as well as we are able.

With everything changing around about them, with a constant feeling of insecurty and instability, parents can no longer point to old beliefs, old unwritten laws, old institutions, for the guidance of the young. Obedience and disobedience have now a different significance. A child was once expected ro obey certain rules of which the parent felt sure; can the parent be expected to exact obedience when he himself is the victim of uncertainty? Obedience is, however, a much overrated virtue. The dullest child, one completely lacking in initiative, may be mechanically obedient, It is so convenient to adults that there is a danger of its importance being magnified.