Diversions

Dominion, Volume 29, Issue 202, 23 May 1936, Page 22

Diversions

PRO PATRIA. In the Victorian House of Representatives recently Mr. Mahoney suggested that if bachelors in the House married they would ease the burden of taxation by solving the population problem. “Oriel’s” comment in the Melbourne “Argus”

It may sound very nice to talk of sacrifice, And to praise the exaltation of the martyr, But the pleasure and the pride are mostly on the side. Of the chap who isn’t called on ns a starter. It is true, but rather i-iini, in the ease of martyrdom, That the crowd who do the cheering never falter When the sacrificial knife is sharpened for the life Of the victim who is tottering to the altar.

It is easy lo suggest, “Dulce et decorum est To another fellow off ou active service, But ’twixt laying down a life and taking up a wife. There's a difference that will make the boldest nervous. Man will dash into the fray, and die pro patria An altruism no one will disparage; Small blame to him who funks and precipitately bunks, Who is called on for the sacrifice of marriage.

That fox without a tail who tried without avail To make others shed their tails by dint of blarney, Because of a mishap that left his in a trap, .Sounds very much like clever Mr. Mahoney. He argues that the pop-ulation’s meagre crop Is the cause of all the country’s horrid taxes, And that every single man should assist his little plan By surrendering their brushes as he akses.

Therefore the House of Reps, should take immediate steps To deal with its unpatriotic laddies; And on each of them impose a houseful such as Joes, As a model for Australia’s mums and daddies. Let the married members rouse on the sluggards of the House— Bid each bachelor espouse his Pam or Mabel, Dwell in happiness sublime, and accumulate in time Lots of olive branches round about his table.