Pickles

Dominion, Volume 29, Issue 75, 21 December 1935, Page 28

Pickles

“I look upon hiking as a tonic.” “Yes, and a passing lorry as a pick-me-up, I suppose?” « ♦ * Fortune-teller: I see a great disappointment for somebody near you. Client: Y-yes.' That’s quite true. I have left my purse at home and am unable to pay you. Officer (to recruit who had missed the target every shot) : Good gracious, man, where are your shots going? Recruit (nervously) : I don’t know, sir, they left this end all right. • » * A reporter asked a film actress if she thought thirteen an unlucky number. The actress exclaimed: “No, my last husband’s the nicest I ever had.” * * « “I can assure you,” said the philosopher, "that a good woman’s thoughts rise above dress,” “That’s right,” agreed the cynic. “She’s probably thinking of a new hat!” Little Miss Muffett Thought she could rough it, So .hiking she Went one day, But soon had a blister, Which didn’t assist her, So she finished her hike oh a dray. * .• V Mabel: Have you heard the latest about Jenny? Betty: No, what is it? Mabel: Well, she went to an astrologer to find out the best time to get married. He took one look at her and told her to take the first chance. «■ - * * “Gertie and her husband had their first quarrel last week, and her father went round when he heard about it.” “I suppose he went and laid down the law, eh?” "Not exactly. He laid down the son-iii-law.” » * » ‘‘You’ll be round to-night. Bob?” said Daisy. "Rather! But, I say, you might tick Off that ugly-looking fellow who drives yttiir ear and works in the garden ; he always gives me a nasty look When lib sees me.” "Oil, don't worry,” replied Daisy, airily, “that's only father.” « # » ♦ * * bad hot been very successful in his choice of “diggings,” hit upon a brilliant idea. Going to a house which advertised “Roohis to let,” he boldly knocked oh the door, “Morning, ihndnm!” lie said to the sonr-faced landlady who answered his knock. “Would you like to buy some insect powder?'’ “No," she snapped. “I have no use for the stuff." "Good,” said Briggs, radiantly “then I'll take one of tile rooms you have to let.”