Pickles

Dominion, Volume 28, Issue 169, 13 April 1935, Page 18

Pickles

“So your little girl had a birthday e party last week? Was it successful? i What did she get?" , “Oh, about half a dozen books, three I boxes of sweets, and the measles.” a » » * 3 "What are all those men doing in a circle with their heads together? Playing Rugby football?” “No. .lust a bunch of Scotsmen light- . lug their cigarettes.” I "Have you any objection to having • a whisky and soda, Mike?” “Well, I’ve never had one before lu my life.” “What, never had a whisky and soda?” 1 "No; an objection!” • • * "When a man loses a good job it sometimes affects his health." said Smith. “I agree with you,” replied Jones. "When Professor Walker lost his position the effect nearly killed him.” “Indeed I What was he?” “A tight-rope walker.” * * ♦ 'Die tall, thin man was quarrelling with the undersized little follow. "Yer laiiky strip.” yelled the diminutive one. “If yer tied yerself in a knot yer wouldn’t, be fat.” “And you,” retorted the lengthy chap, “if you were to pull up your socks you’d be blindfolded.” ".My dear, I’m so worried.” confided one lady to her bosom friend. "Why, what’s Hie matter?” asked the friend. “I believe my husband is interested in another woman.” “Oh. well, my dear.” advised the friend, "if I were you I’d give hint plenty of rope, and- " “Yes, I know. He'll skip!" * W * Angus stopped his taxi-driver—it. was a very dark winter’s night—and, after inquiring the fare, banded over half-a-crown, the exact fare, after much fumbling. “H’m,” the driver muttered, sarcastically, “I have known gents what give me a bit more than the fare.—'specially late at night like this." “Aye,” Angus agreed. "Ah’ve heerd o’ such things masel—that’s why Ah asked ye tae stop under a wee bit lamp, ye ken 1” » • » The foreman of a large factory came up to (be manager's office wearing an anxious look on his face. "Well, what is it?" queried the manager. “It’s about that new man you’ve given me for the packing room.” said lite foreman. “I don't know what on earth to do with him. He’s a 1 boxer, and lie’s been slinging the ? chaps out!” The manager sent for rhe man. s ■ Look here! What’s this I hear about ’ you?” lie said. ’I engaged vou as £ , checker-out.' You're tired!" ■ Oil.” said the mini, scratching nis s head, puzzled. Checker-out! I thought you said clnicker-out’!" >.