PICKLES

Dominion, Volume 27, Issue 35, 4 November 1933, Page 18

PICKLES

Mother was worried. Her daughter did not' seem to be making much progress in bringing her young man to the proposing point. “Jane," she said one day. “has that young man of your ever mentioned the subject of marriage to you?” Jape yawned. “Oh, yes.” she said off-handedly, "he did mention it once, but I told him did did was so broke be couldn't even afford a set of new tires for the car, let alone a busband for me.” • » » It was in the early hours of the morning, and the big charity dance was coming to an end. As a pretty girl tripped across the pavement to her car a beggar lurched out of the darkness. "Charity, lady," he pleaded. “Spare a copper.” She turned upon him and replied, petulantly: “How utterly unreasonable you are! Don’t you realise I’ve been dancing all night for you?”

Employer: “For goodness sake, if you must whistle, whistle something decent!” Clerk: "Do you expect grand opera for 15/- a week?" * » « She: “How did you come to propose to me. John?” He: “I suppose 1 just wanted to lie different from other men.” "Yes,” said the ineek-looking man to bis neighbour on the stool at the snack bar. “I take my meals at a restaurant every chance 1 get.” "I suppose you prefer restaurant cooking to your wife’s cooking?” replied the other. The meek man shook his head sadly "No, I can't say it’s quite that,” he replied, “but I can give orders in a restaurant.”

Wife: “That was a cheap cookerybook I bought hist month. I’m afraid. There were heaps of printing errors in it. Have you seen them?” Husband: ><Xo but. I’ve tasted most of ’em.” •‘I had bad luck with >oth my wives.” "How is that?” "The first eloped.” "And the second?” "She didn’t!' Mrs. Heck: “I wonder. Mrs. Peck, if 1 could borrow your rug-beater.” Mrs. Peck: “I’m sorry. Mrs. Heck, but he doesn’t get home Mil after five o’clock.” * * A : "Explorers have discovered an African tribe of men who lieat the ground with sticks as a sign of anger.” B: “Well, well 1 Fancy gold spreading to equatorial Africa!”

“Father, what is a retaining fee?” asked the small boy. ‘‘A retaining fee/* replied his father, -is a sum of money paid to a lawyer before he will undertake to do any work for a client.” “Oh. I see,” replied the boy. ‘ like putting a shilling in the meter before you get any gas.*' » ♦ * The teacher was explaining to the class the meaning of the word “recuperate.” “Now, Tommy,” she said to a small boy. “when your father has worked hard all day. he is tired and worn out, isn’t he?” “Yes, ma'am.” “Tlicn, when night conies, and his work is over for the day. what does he do?” “That’s what mother wants to know,” Tommy explained quickly. • • • “What is love?” asked the sweet girl who was looking for a chance to leap. "Love.” replied the old bachelor, “is a kind of insanity that makes a man call a 200-pound female his little turtledove.”