RANDOM NOTES

Dominion, Volume 26, Issue 124, 18 February 1933, Page 10

RANDOM NOTES

Sidelights on Current ' Events

LOCAL AND GENERAL

(By

Kickshaws.)

Mr. Wright has severely lectured Mr. Stuart for saying that members of Parliament talk nonsense. Well, suppose we say they don't talk nonsense?

We are looking forward to the time when the Government will stop taxing our cheques and start checking our taxes.

Professor Einstein says that the world is ten billion years old. It has taken it a long time to get to the dogs.

The Japanese, it is reported, have discovered a new source of oil.. They have already got plenty of troubled waters to pour it on.

Those who argue that economy means loss of efficiency might well take a look at Britain’s economical way of dealing with refractory native tribes. It was soon discovered in Iraq that by substituting aircraft for infantry considerable savings could be effected. In 1921 the garrison comprised 33 battalions costing £20,000,000 a year. Latterly five squadrons of aeroplanes costing roughly £2,000,000 a year are doing the work far more thoroughly at a saving of £18,000,000 annually. The latest scheme developed for intimidating restive tribes is an aeroplane carrying loudspeakers. Altogether 36 loudspeakers are used. It is said that an operator Coughing at 4000 feet sounds on the ground like a giant’s roar for several miles around.

When one compares the laborious methods of the days of Queen Victoria to extricate British subjects in a tight corner on the outskirts of Empire with modern procedure it would appear that regrettable incidents are things of the past, thanks to the aeroplane. It is still vividly remembered how troopcarrying aeroplanes saved a critical situation in Cyprus. Not so well remembered is the marvellous manner in which the aeroplane neatly extricated Britain from a very tight corner in Kabul. When all means of communication by land were hopelessly cut off, and insurrections were breaking out wholesale, flew from Bagdad and Egypt, distances of 1100 miles, to the rescue of beleaguered British residents in Kabul. Flying over mountainous country in temperatures of 30 degrees below zero no less than 600 British subjects were conveyed to safety without a single mishap; despite the fact that the aerodrome was situated in the no-man’s land between two hostile armies. :

It was remarked the other day that one of the causes of our present troubles was the time-payment system. If that is the case we can comfort ourselves with the reflection that the system is at least 600 years old. There is in fact nothing really new under the sun, in the heavens above, or in the earth beneath. Gunpowder was hailed as something new when it first made its appearance in the Western World about the, time of .tlie„ba.ttl,e of Crecy. Actually all that had been done was to re-discover something that the Chinese had discovered from somebody else 2500 years beforehand.

Practically every so-called new invention of to-day is but a copy or an adaptation of some far older idea. Roller skates were known in 1823, but for lack of suitable surfaces they never became popular. The up-to-date rolltop desk was described as far back as 1772. Safety razors “came in” about 1762. A. loudspeaker was produced la 1671, a diving boll in 1664, and a periscope in 1702. There are other innovations that worry mankind to-day, such as the coupon system, which are but history repeating itself for the benefit of new generations. As a matter of fact, the coupon system was booming over thTFty years ago. In the late ’9o’s 32,000 coupons could be exchanged for a bicycle. Generally this meant that the hopeful cyclist had to consume 160,000 cigarettes before he could smoke his way on to the most up-to-date vehicle on the roads of his day.

Some day it may occur to an enterprising statesman to ransack the Government’s pigeon-holes for a cure for our economic ills. Commissions by the score have been set up to inquire into this, that, and the other thing which people have thought wrong, and what they have said about them has long since been forgotten. Talking of commissions, in England a Royal Comission set up in 1851 is still hard at it. Another Royal Commission has now been sitting since 1898, while close ou its heels is an old stager of 1901. The last-named has so far issued 13 bulky reports, with 30 more ready for early delivery. In the Army it is the same. The junior officers of the Bechuanaland Expedition of ISS4 are still awaiting their decorations. The matter has been reviewed by the Imperial Government in 1900, 1906, 1920 and 1923, but so far without results. All Governments seem alike. - Although tlie French Government awarded the Croix de Guerre to certain British officers, who assisted in a big French attack in 1917. the British Government was not notified until late in 1929.

Perhaps the world’s official record for slowness must be given to a pane Of glass that was broken in the orderly room of a /Portsmouth barracks in 1816. The troops that returned from AVaterloo to this particular barracks were in such high spirits they broke this pane of glass. The regimental quartermaster,' on going his rounds, duly noted the. break, writing in his book "when found made a note of.” At the subsequent barrack inspection by the commanding officer the breakage was again officially noted and the cost of the glass' entered up against the regiment. AVith military punctiliousness this "noting” continued year after year until the regiment moved elsewhere. The broken pane was duly handed over to the newcomers. In 1855 the outcry against military ineptitude in the Crimea caused" the broken pane to be noted once again. Indeed a glazier was sent for, forthwith. and ordered to mend the break. He arrived on the scene. “AA’liat are you going to do?” said the commanding officer. “Stick in a new pane,” was the reply. “Go away,” said the commanding officer, “I am busy. Coma back in two hours.” The man went away. He never came back. The broken pane was religiously “noted 1 * year after year until, in 1876, a military board ordered the barracks to be destroyed..