WHAT THE TOYS SAID

Dominion, Volume 19, Issue 73, 19 December 1925, Page 23

WHAT THE TOYS SAID

A SHOP-WINDOW DEBATE

HIGHT had come, and the toys in the shop window, which had all day been silent, began* to make up for lost time. The doll —— with the pink dress and black curls spoke beiore the last glimmer of davlight had left the world. It was her way to be bursting with words—the little rubber man said it was the way of the whole sex. It mav have been the heat, or the sea of faces, or the fact that no one had bought her or s the three things combined, but she wasn’t m a good mood. After slie had, grumbled about the weather . and the stupidity of the little girl who had preferred a flaxenhaired minx' to her, she called somebody a white-faced monkey because he told her to cheer .up. He was a white-faced monkey, but, like many human beings, he didn’t relish the truth, and fired off so many gibes that the dark-haired lady flounced m her box and said it was an insult to be in the same window with an ape. Then the ape quoted Darwin and asked where she would have been were it not for his family, whereupon she sniffed and reminded him how much higher up the. ladder of evolution she was than he, He asked her if it wasn’t true that she was descended from simian ancestors. She said she believed it was. He immediately retaliated with the question how then could she be higher than his people, since she was descended from them ? She flounced more pettishly than ever and told the clown over the that he had a horrible laugh. ‘“Ha, ha, lia,” he chuckled. “Caught that time, my lady. You’ll have to get up earlier to be even with .Mr. Monk, who iseenn to have retained more than his share of brains.” The ladv would have blushed with anger if her cheeks hadn’t been permanently carmiired. Her impulse was to bite her lips, but, remembering they were wax, and therefore impressionable, she resisted, and contented herself with glaring at the monkey and the clown till the latter told her she d be much more alluring if she pushed the black dog off her shoulder. A protesting growl came from that direction, and a poodle remarked that, although be was black, and close to the ladv’s shoulder, lie disclaimed all responsibility for her mood. He didn’t know whv that foolish expression was so often repeated. Black dogs were just as good tempered as white dogs, yellow dogs, brown dogs, and sometimes more so He wished to goodness the clown wouldn’t demean himself bv brainlessly repeating what he heard other human beings say. Then the clown,, with a flourish of his bells, asked the poodle why clowns w-re created, and the poodle-snapped, “To make fools of themselves, -of course. “liggs-actlv,” agreed the clown, “and what do fools want with brains ? If thev had brains, they wouldn’t be fools, and if thev weren't fools thev wouldn’t be clowns ThcMore—” “Hee-haw,” braved the donkey. “What a pity vou haven’t a few brains, for then vou wouldn’t be vou, and the world would be all ,tlie better for that.” “Hee-haw,” mimicked the clown,, “that I shouldn’t bq I is a logical imposr.ioilitv. lor how coufld I be anybody else ? And, if vou had shorter ears, my friend, vou mightn’t hear so much, and it vou didn’t heat so much vou mightn’t talk so much, and if vou didn’t talk so much you mightn’t wake such an ass of vourself.” “Ass!” snorted the donkey. “Who .said I was an ass?” “Since vou make an ass of yourself, 1 should think you liked being one,” said the clown, jingling his bells and capering hist out of reach of the donkey’s hind legs. Then the squeaky voice of the little rubber man piped up, “Keep still there', vou fellows,'* lie said. “You’ll break yourselves, and then what chance of going 'iff this season will vou have ?” “Yes, this season, it’s Christmas,” softlv said a plain little doll poked away in a corner. “Christmas 'or no Christmas,” said the clown, “which would you all prefer—to be bought or sold?” “No one wants to be sold, except

clowns, perhaps,” said the donkey. ‘'They’re foolish enough for anything." “Well, wise ass,” answered the clown; "if vou don’t want to be sold you’d better not be bought, for to be bought is to be sold, and to be sold is to be bought.” x “Yes,” piped the little rubber man; "but though you’re sold, yet you needn't be sold. All you’ve got to do is to be careful whom you please. If you show no discrimination you’re sold, but if vou choose wisely and well you sell yourself wisely and well, which is quite a different matter. Only to-day a horrid little boy nearly killed me trying to make me squeak, but never a sound did I utter, therefore I’m,here quite whole, instead of being somewhere else, vivisected bv his cruel little fingers in an endeavour to find the origin of niv voice.” “Yes, it’s always well to be cautious, agreed the •monkey, “and it’s better to be left on the shelf after all Christmas festivities are over, and . the children have gone home for a year than to. let - vourself be sold. Only to-day a little - girl fell in love with me.. . v .” Here'shrieks of laughter came from the direction of the lady with the black curls, and he paused until her mirth had subsided. “It’s strange how the manners .of oui descendants shame the simian race,” he went on to say, “but. I was remarking that to-dav a little girl fell in love with me. I was dragged from. the window and put into her arms, but I stiffened mvself until she let me go, because I was such a nasty hard old th “ What did you do that for?” asked the little rubber man. , “Well vou see,” answered the monkev, “while she was looking in at the window I noticed that she held a teddy ; bear upside down, and that every now and then she banged his head on the ground.” . “A. bear with a sore head,’ remarked the clown, “is quite a proper thing, but an ape with a sore head is a different matter.” < “Fools rush in . . .” began the monkey, when his voice was drowned by ® ' wail from the lady in pink. “She says no, one will look at me while she’s bv. She says everybody likes flaxen hair and blue eyes.j She says I’m doomed to the shelf. She's a. . cat—a yellow cat —I hate her.” She rose from her box, and, reaching the fair lady before she could extricate Jierself from hers, tried to scratch away some of her beauty. With a shout of “Hurrah,” and a flourish of bells, the ( clown encouraged the combatants, the little rubber man bounced agitatedly round the window, while the monkey laid sarcastic things about human beings. The black dog . tried to make peace, and this contradiction in personality so ticked the clown that, prostrated bv mirth, he rolled on the floor, then, suddenly becoming grave again, raised his effigy and tickled the monkey under the chin. Roused to activity by such a fool’s trick, the ape pounced on the prostrate clown, and threatened to reduce his paleness, when, with a bark of protest, the friend of man-interven-ed When the melee was at its height the plain little doll wrung her hands and said: “And it’s Christmas! Peace and good will! Peace and good will!” but nobody took any notice of her. There's no telling what disastrous things might have happened to those ’ toys, had not day peered into the window. The effect was magical. The dolls scurried back to their boxes, the black \ppodle took up his stand close to the . dark lady, and the monkey squatted close to the' place where the little rubber man stood propped up against a drum. It was some time before the dolls could compose their features, and the last sound that was heard in the window before perfect rigidity was restored was a sigh from the lady with the black curls. .. Then her lips resumed that simper and her eyes that glassy stare which you may see for yourself any day be- i fore the toys are banished from the window to make room for more grownup things.