"FARES, PLEASEP"

Dominion, Volume 9, Issue 2758, 29 April 1916, Page 14

"FARES, PLEASEP"

"IIIJHIIVON" CAM. ONTO HtiHTINII MONT

UUHIYIMN IN lIIIAKI

(lly Dell Lel|;li, 111 llj" 1 "WenliiilmiliT

Thoy ciune miliiltu 101 lint lln> cnrnci' in line iilmmkl, IhofM' Dl'elidliollnliln of the I'ollil, lllll'ly-l'W lll!)llU''lllllieHi I'OHlll.' ed b\ s I'liplnc. I'Vciicli |i»ii»niifi ninl lb,, cnbblcil i li"i r. i I flic Utile lowiti elnugi'ii mill im'liih'il wlfli limit iuil'ilii|i ineiieiicc, If wan limn iliiyn iiiiicu nny of Ml''!'" bud Jolted cxlinilnl,cillv Info flic woll-llli iinrnne nf Mori,, lulm, or bud bulled, IW lb" driver's ten, on Mni lii'ciiMO-miieiired huh I uiifnido I In, giiUitt ol Livei'liool Hired, MlhUimi. "The iSiilniiiii mid Hull" nf llcflinnl Given Klnnv them mi iiliil'e, mul the nlcchnirk of lliuiiineriuiillli Bridge r.wnycil no lunger In fhclr pimping, (Jniin were Mm painfull dirccfiniui of thnir rout.it, n llnf, iiiiid-bcii|iiilfered Hrey hml di«|iliicc<| nil Milu, The li«lil." oil iiiiinbi'i'i'icnniu:i.l ho eagerly by I'ho jiidfliiig crowd on the pavement edge nl'ler the iiinfiiiec, bud been turn down. Their eoiidiietiirn, imml. of fliein, hud llniiihcd ilciiling patiently with old lndiivi who proffer tint hiibifinil liiilf-iiov-oroigiii on it penny ride from llnrni'l'ii ."niul pleaso ntop at, the next corner but c," Iniil Winded in flm biilancesheef of liu'en received, mid file little fin bo,\ of lioliolii, ninl bud klieii instead the short rillc, mi ideu.fify di«e, and the jiicnh-.sl of all obliuafioiiii, Dill, the drivern wore Micro. Chid now in the nnfioniil colour, nlbcil, turn and dirty, mid hearing after fbotr unnoticed minion in, Army Hnrvioo Cnrpii records the terse insignia "iM.T,," limy remain immutably the niinio. You may cull them "Members of the iMeo'hniiieal Transport of the Krifish Kxpedifionnry l''orce" if you like. Itul, thoy are known uf the front, and in most other places! as Iho "London. IJiisinen"—niul licit is tho alpha and onc'iiii of flic, nuifler,

They sat piibieiilly waiting, thirty-nix of them, flic December rain Hearing their I'jiws, mid their bodies <|iiivcring slightly lo tho lliriim of the engines beneath. They are a .slightly cynical raco <|f men. Overmuch liolplcss skidding into the fairway of other traffic, importunate umbrellas thrust threateningly at them from obvious slopping places, coupled with tho knowledge, bred of practical demonstration, that, if collision occurs, theirs is tho weight that will pulverise most things, have, perhaps, reared in them a jaundiced view of lifo.

On tlio night in question, after having been lent for nine driving hours to a French infantry brigade on tlio movo, they had sought their "garage" (a tall hedgerow) and peace. Curt orders had arrived an hour later to roport immediately at So-and-so with ono day's rations, all availablo spares, and t|io outside tarpaulins. " 'Nothcr rough night, cully," said ono man to a neighbour, as ho wound a muffler about his neck.

"Gawd 'clp any Jioclio wot comes across my road, that's all."

Tlio other, grunted foolhigly,, as ho crouched over his cyliliders.

An officer with a red band round his arm loomed up into the lights. "Who's your leading driver here?"

Ho was pointed out. "Your orders arc . . . etc., etc., . .' .' This interpreter will sit by you." Tho. Frenchman climbed r tip, smiling genially. . . . "There are some sholl holes in the road just beyond tho village -of . Sound your horn in the usual way when you reach them. ..."

The passengers, a hattalion not unversed in the ways of motor-omnibuses, began to emerge, on the bugle, from adjacent billets. A certain liveliness on the part of tlw enemy further up tlio line, and a redisposition of forces, had rendered their presence necessary in that locality. Tiio hattalion, lately out of very wot trenches, and now scattered luxuriously in dry rooms before hot stoves, were pained and grieved at the workings of the Staff mind, .and had been saying so, in the vernacular, for the last half-hour or more. Ono man in particular, who " 'adn't 'eld a decent 'and the 'ole WoormV evenin,'" and was one franc sixty down, but who had just picked up four to an'ace when they blew the "Assembly," said things which cannot he recorded. Those who were not told off to stack S.S.A.' boxes under the tarpaulins on the roof of the 'buses wore clustered round the warm bonnets below. ,

"Blimey, tho good ol' London Gineral. . . . 'Ere, "oo's for Kew Gardins, fine arternoon like this? ... . Come on, 'Arry, . . . and don't fail inter them Rodydendrum bushes, samp as wat you did lars' time. . . . Cheer o', maite (this to a taciturn driver); you be careful rarnd thim corners, now; 'cos my 'eart's not wot it used ter be, see? And look 'ere (leaning forward confidentially), not so much 0' the, 'glad' at the Circus, mind—Vise we shall 'ave to 'ave a few words wiv your ol' woman, when we gits back to Barnes. . . ."

They clambered in on the order. Rifles were laid on the floor \inder the straw. The officers went outside. They knew not whither they were going, nor cared. This was a "beano in a bus," and they acted up to the tradition of the bus accordingly. One man, the wag of his company, became> automatically the conductor (a high explosive shell dropped at his feet three days afterwards) and proceeded to business. "Anymorefaresplease" he began in the prescribed manner and voice. "Nah, then, you, none 9' yer bloomin' French pennies on me in the dark." Throe blithe spirits were hastily improvising a bell, from a rifle magazine and sorno "pull throughs" knotted together. There were hopes of catching tho driver in an unguarded moment. A high falsetto voice from tho further end besought the conductor to "'old the baiby whilst I finds my purse.". The long convoy with its human freight began to disappear over tho cobbles into the darkness beyond tho town. The "conductor" leaned over tho back rail and,, to the delirious joy of his passengers, commenced a loud-voiced monologue on the porsonal nppcaranco and liabits of the driver immediately behind, ending with the exhortation that tho next timo his old woman cut his hair she would refrain from the use of " 'orse clippers.' Hut tlio drivers wero used to this. They preferred to convey men of their own kind, no matter where, rather I than insensato stores and ceaseless am* munition boxes from place to place. The leading driver, after a few brief questionings of the interpreter at his fiido as to route and distances, relapsed into n" busv silence. The interpreter, woll fed and well slept, and destined for a spot whero ho knew he could repeat both, became volubly flattering at IJIO marvellous English organisation, liut his effusions fell upon unheeding ears. Beyond an occasional "Alebbe" . . . "Vou'ro right" . . . "Seems like if" . . . mid tho "Yes" and "No" of tho inattentive, the keen-faced man at Ins sido was singularly unproductive of tho light chatter so dear to a Frenchman's soul.

The leading driver's mind was not upon those roads, though his eyes and hands were unfailingly. His thoughts were in the little semi, detached house in a neat row of others oil' the Kfl'ra Uond, Brixton. . . . She

huil put the children-to bod long since, mid wns mending tilings of theirs, lie'd warrant, even new —la to as.it was. A vision of the room rose up from tho Btoamiug head-lamps. The Nottuich&ra

liii'M hii'lhliih In llm window (no Udy)j j ■ > Hi" iJlnoli, iiiiilit itlfinn mi tho uiiiti. l»l|ili'iin (lim liiml iviiii Uiiii, in |,||„ oin.jni, luiifi riillln ill, '"Clin (lii ( ir(tii")| , , , lllu ll«lllll|J-|i''lll 111 l.ili» (.mplmtiril liy llm "l"|ll|IW llm llll|mil |,||„ |„,,,|, 11, |„\,| () , t | "« imiiiiliinil) | , , , Mm, •WmiMloi'lnl Kti, •'"l.v'm imrlJllcitlu li'mimd In light, ,inli (li» tviin i'iiMh'l' piniiil (if 1,1m1,, fill, linnl 'i I'J't) mi llm ivnllj ~ , |,l,„ |,],,|,| M . () , lf Jni'i'ii Vim wlmli tlmy niiiiin l„ u,|| lit'i' 'lim !n!,m<jirn|.i>r limnlmd |,| n nrin ~m | liolnliul iilmml, Tim Ihinpi; tilmwwi <lw|i I'liiimnii In Mm iiinrl tii llm Inl'i, mid |,|irn, »|illiili'i'i'i| |Mi|i|imi, lln yiivo Uiu iiiHinil mi III" Iml'ii mill iiwiM't'oil l.i) tlio rii/lil,| Miit nlliiMil Wlin Ihiolihl ilnivu tlio liim. llm mill it|iliifilmil mi |,lm ulnim bnhind nil lo'iitl iiinl In, Innltml Miiinil lulu Mm lllk'l'lnr, Tlmro tvni'ii no |||/|il,n; uml | l 0 iiiiw liluri'iiil hliii[H!ll of iiimii, tho cnlliini nl Mii'ir |{rmili'ini|.n iniiml Uwlr ciirn, Immlii nmlilliii' In, nldop. 'lim (Hinvn.v iilnimliuil |.lii'()ll|;li llin nititl nl' Wlliifin nl.rwi|,ii, uml nl, llinlr liiinliU lii|{ ii|i|iriiih,|i bliii nf blind in hi>)m>i- winilmvii iviu'h linltl liikili, uml Lmitili'd lumklii <il' ii|i,iv|i,v pi,iuiiiiil,M Ijniiltotl 'Wnyiiiirili, ymnmil "O'lwl, imiilniimiil, Inn luii'Jniii," ii lid H'onl, iililvnrliii' liiiult In bud, llin liiiiuln Imciinm liiniili ivilli cold lii'tii'iitli I,lm lliinlt. ulnvnii. lllu lioily imliml, iim ruin mm liltn iii>i;dlu-prlolc» mi l,ln» finm, Alii,i' nl,rm't;lil, iiikiriiiiiinlilo linen (if iitink l.ri'im, dipn into noi|iii'iit«i'i'i| liihiilklii, and rlnlii|/ s « ii|/;iiiii mi Id Mm liinlmr |/,i'(iiiiu| llniikcd liy (liiiiiihthi heel, finldn. |,|my I'lllllll 111, 111111, U) HOIIKI flU'lll llllil(llll|(H, mill l.lm until n(, hiii h'iilk imilUiod, "All I vnidi, niillii y HiiinninH." Ami the liiiij; Jino pill, on it.H limited. A iiciiti'v iiiilnidc a RoLlaco door kirncil hiii rillii Hid tfall mill went, in. I'nmcnlJy an iniltonipl, iilnlF odlcnr (!ini.'i'i<i!(l (inrryiiii', ft lantern and Homo pHimi'H. lim loniliiiK ilrivflr nliorilt tlio water nil' l,lm iipion nnd lit ii ui'tiiireUo, An ii/Ilwir iii'iiivled stilfly ilmvii to the road nnd (minted, 'Jim 'two conferred n purl, "Yen," .miid tlio nno with pnper», "liavo tlio animiiiiilion pneltotl in that lwrri lirnt," lm indicntod somo oulIniildiiiKii; "tlio men Imd hotter get Koine rent tliero ton. Lot them pnrndo al ton," Ho conmilted lii.s pliperß again. "You must your boxes unloaded at onee,; llies,o buso« have (jot go bnelt —they're wanted." A cow in an adjacent ulicd bemoaned dismally its scanty fodder. A palo lemon dimli began to spread over tho faeo of tho sky, and another day of war broko upon tho troubled sloop of Franco.