“CHRISTIANS, AWAKE.”

Dominion, Volume 5, Issue 1320, 26 December 1911, Page 9

“CHRISTIANS, AWAKE.”

A CHRISTMAS MORNING INCIDENT. (By Sylvius.) "Christians, Awake! Salute the happy mom!" There was no argument. One simply had to—Christian or pagan—when the old hymn tune was pumped into one's inner consciousness by a sestet of brass at an impossible- early hour yesterday; but it was not with Very Christian thoughts that cmo turned over, and endeavoured once more to woo Morpheas, on discovering that tho house was not on fire, and that all was well with tho baby. The band played on, relentlessly, remorselessly ! The euplionium took a special delight in putting elaborate improvisations into his part, careless at times, if the canons of truo harmony wore assaulted, and in my writhing auguish I wished that a very special place of torturo was in store for him. He seemed to revel with fiendish glee in his infernal "poui-pom-pom-pom I" He knew perfectly well there were poor tired souls within the blind-drawn house opposite who had heard the hour of midnight clang in pleasant company. Yet lit played "Christians, Awake!" . . . At last there was a quiet interval—a period of glorious calm after tho tiutinnnbulation of sounding brass—and with a sigh of ineffable blits, and with goodwill towards men—even that euphonium player—l ciught at the skirts of sleep and wrapped them round my head once nioro. I was just going off, when to my horror "The First Noel," played brutally near, brayed against my startled car, «ud at the same moment there was a loud knock at the front door. The baby commenced to cry dismally, the cat downstairs upsefc a stack of plates, and I could hear a dog growling and barking in my pet bod of gallnrdias in the side-garden. This Christmas business appeared before me as a hideous survival of the Inquisition. The old "waits" were all right. They hung round in the snow on Christmas, even when everyone was about, and wore invited in, fed, and made otherwise comfortable by the jolly old host, but they did , not come round at the first flush of dawn—when all decent people should bo in bed—with trumpets (and euphonium) <iiid play everyone into a. stitto bordering on dementia—that state which overcomes an animal on being robbed of his sleep. This by the way. At the first rat-a-tat, I crept from my warm couch, pulled- up tho blind, anil raised the window. "What is it:-" "Any money for the band?" "Money-look here, if you are not off my premises in half a minute, I will play the hose on you—especially on.that euphonium fiend—Get out!" ■\Vithtlmt ] banged down the window, gave the baby another bottle, and sauk to sleep, conscious that a duty to mankind in general had been well done. I'inally I have decided to place the matter in the hands of Mr. Mas;ey (who will, I am sure, effect somo kind of reform), pointing out to him that "Christians Awake!" was not meant to be taken in the practical, way suggested by the band. '