THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1240, 23 September 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

l A/BIRDJS-EYE YIEW. .'(BT M.C.KJ Other parts of Tin; Domisios may teem with facts and other coarse vilo scurrilous! abuse of thoPrimo Minister, such as assertions tiiat tho public debt is nearly iESOjCflO.OOO,'that tho weather has' been atrocious lately, and that ■ tho Imperial Conference rejected bis proposal to establish an'lmperial Council, but this column is not going to dobaso itself to such purposes. Ono of its objects is to protect Sir Joseph from misrepresentation,. and s > today., it is necessary to protest against tho misrreporting of- his speech of advice to the Victoria College orators. '"He wished," ho said,' "to offer them a word or two- of advice." That was correctly reported, but his actual word or two was misrepresented beyond all recognition*. What he 'actually said was: "And now one word as to tho rules that a public speaker should, if he wishes to successfully and completely express himself in the clearest possible manner, and hero I do not hesitate to say that whan you find yourself in the position that you are required to express yourself clearly, and it is the main thing, and also with fullness, which is as important, then I would say, r.nd I say it as one who has often, found himself in 'tho:position of .being required to speak-in public, a position that ;one grows accustomed to, or ought to do so, if those simple principles , are observed i which I am outlining, when combined also with-practice, and hero I may say that confidenco is very important to the proper expression of olio's ideas, whatever tho subject may 'be,- thoso principles, I eay, will if pursued enable you to. at once and very convincingly mako the point in tho best manner, as you all naturallywish to do, since it is.essential in speaking." (Loud appiause.) Mr. J. E. Redmond, Loader of the ~ Nationalist party, speaking at a reception in - Dublin, said the visitors would find-Ireland' no'longer a distressful and despondent country; they would find that it was beginning to prosper everywhere, and that it was peaceful and loyalCable. . I met. with. Napoer Tandy, and he took mo by the hand '; "And wept aloud: "Ochono! Machree! "■ f Asthore! Oh Ivathaleen ny Houlahaii I" "Don't do it please," I told him, "for you i know quite well this land —" "Asthor© for Clunealla and Delrdre!" •"Is-ha-ppy and contented. Even. Redmond says it's grand —" ,'lla.vronol" fSo why make all those noises that you do ' not .understand —" "Arrah aroon the elan na rael och och for-Kathalcen ny Houlahanl" ."Any more than I do." shamrock! Nap'per Tandy, is no longer an offence—•" ■ "Oh tho cruiskeen lam! My collcen ,- bawn; Oaed mile failte Knthaleen ny Houlahaii I'.' . . In referring to evictions you must use tho long past tense—" ' ' v"Wirra! Wirra! Och-" Plour, Gaelic does you credit, but, my dear good chap, have sense—'" "Oh, astorin mo ehree hul" "Yes, that's all right 1 I kn'ow you'vo got ,V, to keep up some pretence—" "Ochose! .Shan van Yocht! . Aioon '"■acushla beg!" ' "But you can' drop it with mo." ■ 'It doc 3 seem quare," ho twinkled, "when we're booming right ahead, And distressfulness is absent, as out John, has truly said, And fancy's' fogg havo blown away, and facts have come instead, But still there's room for sadness, for it < comes into my head, Machree, O Willaloo! elainthe -gael . mavounreen ; 'arrah! • - .\ That it's sad tho Celtio School will be (ah I Bweet them songs they' made!'- ' ffo learn that Erin.'s ceased to weep, and getting on in.trade-r , -• i . t Mavrone aroon : savourncen for ,tho-Hill of Otonda, nabbclish' arrah, ,the bright eye 3 of Kathalean ny Honlahan ,«ho's gone into-biisineb." • • The Christchurch' tramway men, f who ere objecting to the'"demerit" system, are asking that it be'mado inapplicable to any public service in the' Dominion. They should receive the support of the Government, which defends tho present Civil Service systom against -Mr. Herdman' bocause, as the Diiko' said of the Order' of tho Garter,' there is no d—merit about tho present system of, appointments. , Mr. Fitzgerald says that "tho purchasing power of money-is not so great now as it was,"'and that he "considers it tho duty of the Government to do something." His idea, it -is .understood,is a short Act declaring that a. pound shall bo equal to twenty-five shillings. There) is sadness in tho heart of Mr. Laurenson, as ho contemplates "the .literary tendoncy of the Now Zealand education system." "If," ho told the House, "ho advertised for a girl who had passod tho Sixth Standard, an . expert ehdrthand ,writer, and tyniste, ho would get' replies by tho dezen." Tho complaint is one .that, should have been! made long ago.' It is not to bo supposed that Mr; Laurenson is.an enemy of literature; far -from it. Nobody would accttso him of that who knows, as wo all lenow, that be is a lover of books, owns two or three dictionaries," and takes in "Answers" and "Reynolds's Weekly;" But Mr. Laurenson, although thus obviously a patron of letters, and a man'of high literary attainments (need we mention tho papers lie sometimes writes for tho Woolston Mutual Improvement Society?) has escaped the narrowing influence of books. Unliko'tho other distinguished literary men.: on tho . Government sido of tho House, such as Messrs. Hogan, Glover, Poole, E. M'Kenzic, and Russell, , Mr. Laurenson knows that cultiiro can bo overdone. And ho is quito right. .It is all very nice and pleasant to have Mr. Hogbon's, splendid system filling , this happy young country with th# polished young persons whose intellectual needs are so well supplied by tho Eugby Union, tho, kineniatograph proprietors, and-Miss Victoria Cross. Mr. Laurenson would be- mora than human if he did not feel pleased - when 'lie see 9 and hears tho products of our fino literary system nf primary education. But aa a practical statesman lio realisos that tho thing can bo overdone. He can- appreciate Miss Mario Corelli, perhaps, better than most men, but literature, he knows, is not everything. Ho is a rare combination of'tho scholar and tho practical man— ono who can read and enjoy in tho original H. G. Wells and Silas Hocking, and who can nevertheless turn asido to warn Mr. Hogben of tho evils of "excess of culture. His opinion upon this matter is accordingly ono not to bo liglitly set asido. . . "Skunk!" otc.—Sir J. G. Ward in tho pre-baronetcy era. . "... Seizing, or, as it has been in-, elegantly termed, 'collaring' tho sinking funds . . ." —Sir J. G: Ward, Bart., in the Financial Statement in tho virgin flush of baronethood. "Stinking fish," etc., etc., etc., etc., ptc., etc., etc., etc., etc.—Sir J. G. Ward, Bart., at latest advices. Wo wopt to think Six Joseph would bo rendered loss corrosive ,In hi-s language, less convincing and spectacular; 411 tho Democrats, dejected, with tho deepest pain cxpcctcd He would daintily disdain tho old yer- . nacular.

I \9"o mourned tho loss we fancied of the ' ■ language riclily ranoid That so easily tho Opposition threw aside, U As tho native of Ngahauranga mourns tho . normal scent and clangour . When lie settles on the land, and thinks ! of 6Uicidc. '"Instead of saying 'Traitor, 1 he will talk like Walter Pater," So we murmured: "There will bo a horrid scarcity Of his favourite epithet ere they made him Baronet ' And LL.D. of Glasgow University. "No more 'crawler;'! No moro 'skunk'!"— In despair aur hearts wero Eirak, And tho Budget seemed to justify our prophecy, For there wo saw "to collar" earned tho censuro of our scholar As too vulvar for tho lips of such a toil as he. But we all were quite mistaken; for his soul remains unshaken; Hie democrat™- fancies still unfettered' are— .... Spito of titlo and diploma, you will find tho old aroma In his language, ye 3, the genuine assafootiua. :

la painful memory of ANGELINA, Formerly JOHN BUftL, ' WHO by dint of long practice, attained to Such command of his soul ' * ' that his namo stood for all that is t - - ■ OALM • ) and strong and cheerful, Who 6miled' at small worries, BUT SMOTE ' Like a Naysmith hammer when the \ • • " need arose; Whom nothing could disturb; But Who, succumbing at last to a bad attack of \ CIVILISATION, . '• Of a typo that he used to laugh at, Lost his bell-topper, ceased to fill his clothes, and becamo AN AGITATED PERSON, Whom the Archbishop and the "Times" newspaper bustled' into.' An anxious and rumpled condition, FULL OF FEAR, •Forgetful of; the Kaisor abroad and the Jacobins at home, AND CONVINCED That England would go down BUMP If he did not bead all his energies towards ' preventing A coloured person named JOHNSON From splitting the constitution . and > plunging England into barbarism by punching An Englishman on tho jaw, AN ACT That Angelina, formerly John, used- often to perform on air sorts of people before - he became "CIVILISED." E.I.P.