THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1204, 12 August 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

(Bx.H.'C.U

This is what tho-steward-heard i-^ 4 • "Swim from Hobart: to Auckland or to Bluff? Madness, man—sheer, stark, staring lunacv!" "Well; what am Itodo P It's all very wall for .'you to say, 'Brazen it out'; you know you're, all, right, for they, won't have any- time to attend to you while I'm there. I'll draw their fire. No, I've thought it all out, and the only thing,is to swim."

"Then go ashore at Hobart, and wait for the next. Bluff steamer." "And leave' Jimmy muddling things 'foi | another week? • Havo some sense, John! • I'd soonor land at Wellington. I must get there quick. Look at Mokau. When I sent him that long message from Colombo' telling; him how.to ,side-step, I thought he'd manage it all right. And ! see howlio lias done it! Made a L bash irf if all 1 No, he's lust his ncrvs. 1 must get back." "And' tho captain won't touch anywlioro else but Hobart and Wellington?" "He declines. No, I must swim. Those cursed banquets. ' How far is it?" "A pretty long swim. Then there aro the sharks." "Must risk tho sharks. You are tho ; most unhelpful chap, John, that I over !■ saw. Say something." ;. "Disguise yourself as a steward." ; "I did think of that, but I don't think it would be right in ono whom, tho King has delighted to honour. It would soil : the title." ' "Well, look hero. Can't the captain arrange to reach Wellington at mid--1 night?" . . , "He can't guarantee it. And they may sit up for mo, anyway." ■ As usual, it, is Sir James Carroll—if Jimmy will pardon my departure from ! , his desire to be known, always as just . Jimmy—who has found tho healing doc- ; trine. Tho caso of the democrats, who have been squealing • loudly about tho ! House of Lords, has really been father ; ticklish since their lord and master de- ; cided to be a titled ancestor. , now to : save their faces—that was the question. Sii JamoSrViigain pardon, Jimmy—Sir ] James has; come, to' tne rescue. ' Mellow ■. and bland, he told them at Levin: "They I must; not try'to-carry the . democratic Spirit tod far." '

Ton didn't thmk it of Sir Joe? ; ' Yoli..thought he'd.answer stoutly, '"No!" | . And so feel. upside-down-below i . ; While cynics prod you gaily?, To save all futuro trouble, then, . v . I beg that you'will r*ead' again ' The-rules for Democratic '.men, To be recited daily. : Eule 1 for : .Demoorats:—"Withstand Hereditary titles, and Declare that they aire things this land' Is disinclined to. swallow. ■.' Talk straightl Hit hard! : And- Bcorn to • swerve, '! Biifr-always hold a small reserve; For,', overdone; your ereed 'observe) ■ ; May. hit tho, man, you follow." . I '." Bulc.2:—"The truth is excellent. For that; you have the precedent Of forty, 1 e'ven fifty, cent !'■ TJries of demonstration. But push it not'too farl Excess Is bad, and lands you in a mess: ; Dilute tho- spirit mora or' less . • i i And use in moderation."' ./ Enlo 3:—"Be honest as the day: From candid methods scorn to 6tray; '' But all tho same don't run away With .bees inside your bonnet. Your honesty's a thing of might. But—mind youget .this point iust rightIt is your servant:. Keep a tight. Controlling hand upon it."

Adopting the useful terminology-of the Government Meteorologist's hair-raising talk last Monday about the ' disaster hinted at by ; the little bit extra in tho barometer, our political expert says: "All tho signs point to an eruption.at the end of November or.beginning' of December. Tho rapid oscillations of tho Ministerial compass during the past four or five years have been accompanied by an 1 increasing ipressure in.tho,loan barometer. Tho abnormal been ' indicated in. many ways. The gales of public'distrust have been high and frequent, and it is ominous that in the heavy fogs issuing from.tho centres of administration Ministers have been seen barricading tho doors and retiring into inquiry-proof positions. Tho wave of high confidence has bean replaced by a wave of verj lovi confidence, with every prospect of il further intensification of • tho depression in Ministerialist regions when two anticyclones-' arrive here from Europe next week. _ The storms from Rarotonga, Mokau, and the Supremo Court havo been bottled up, increasing the explosive pressure in the barometer of public, opinion, Tho rising- -.storm recently led to the unprecedented dispatch of a special corps of ten men and the acting-head of the Government tp-h'elp to peg-down tho tent at Otnkij. and tho' idea of establishing a Ministerial tent at Christchurch. North has -boon abandoned. Enormous efforts are being made, as is usual every three rears, to avert the poat-up storm' by drafts, on the loan barometer, but the temperature is high, and the conditions are abnormal. ; The,readjustment of voting areas to break the force or the:earthquake and storm and.eruption may check tho total ruin of tho Ministerialist votecrop, but great damago to it is assured."

An Auckland clergyman has stated that he would gladly attend a race-meeting "if the old Greek rules prevailed—when a man who dared to bet was shot out of hand." He would not have thus approved of the old Greek rulo had he known that it .was not the outcomo of a high moral sense, but merely the result of tho popular craze for the revolver, which had just .been invented by Archimedes.

"Don't tell mo anny more that IV football aiithor'ties isn't our gr-reatcst pathrites," said Mr. Dooley as ho read tho statement of Mr. Ueorgo Mason, tho President of the Canterbury Rugby Union, as to the outlook for football under the new defence scheme. "They make me tired, these hero critics who says that we're a sporrts-ridden connthry. Why, tho fni'ball loaders ar-re th' mos' broadminded people we'vo got'., 'Twas expected that they wud demand th' repeal iv th' Defence Ac'. Now, that wud havo been goin' too far. Imporrtant though it is f th' nation's destiny that ivory Sal'urdab th' flower iv our manhood should gather in their thousan's an' barrack—imporrtant as it is, I will not admit that th' futball loaders wnd havo been justified in preventin' such an innocent an' almost praiseworthy thing 'as a- defenco ■diamo. That wud be intol-rance. Nor n'id it bo right if futball were made coinl"dsory. ;<That.wud be tyranny, in', 'tis -nattlier f'r' prido- that tlio futball au■o'r'tics have scorrned t' play, either th' yrant or th' bigot. 'No,' says' tho futrmll organiser, 'no. Wo hold that thoro's ;<)om f'r a defenco scheme Thruo,' ho -ays, 'futball alone really matthcr's, but «•« believe in freedom.. Let thim have their definco scheme, boys, f'r it will not ilosthro'y th' nation's destiny. I bolievo rncsolf,' says ho, "that it's even not a bad sort iv tiling fr'm what I've heerd. Lot us bo gen'rous,' says ho. 'Why, lads/ says he, 'I think one or two iy ,ua' might

'even go along an' look at thim dhrillin' now" an' then, "l'wud be a kindly ac',' ho says. But they're gone even furrther thin ■that,;.fawn. What does the Canterbury prisident say? 'lie considhercd,' so tli' pa-apcr says, 'that 'twas vh' jooty iv athletes t' pnfc up with a littlo inconvenience, lie did not think Hi' f utballers wrid'. make: any trouble if. thoy.iud possibly help'it. Th' futballers had'lt' make sacrifices t'.a. certain extint' Now, Jawn, ye might think that'this is sheer weakness, but I wud disagree with ye. 'Tis askin' a good dale, I admit, t' ask that th' ful'baller shiid interrup' his studies f'r half an hour wanco a month, but I think 'twill only stren'then th' game. "Wo may thrust th' defihec author'ties t' bo reasonable. Iv coorso if they expec' t' be given th' right' f interfere with playin' days or thrainin' evenin's, th' concession t' them will bo withdrawn. But th' thing that pleases mo is. Hi' crushin' reply iv th'. Canterbury prisident f those who say harrd things about th 1 pride an' narrowness iv th'.futballer. At th' same time 'twud be deplorable if they pushed tiioir gen'rosity too far.>■ I thrust that tli' Canterbury, prisident's new an' revolutionary doctbrixio will .'be" applied with caution."