CIGAR THE THIRD.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1186, 22 July 1911, Page 6

CIGAR THE THIRD.

MY AUNT SOPHIA. AND THE TAMMANY TIGEK.

(By "Wi.")

With my maiden Aunt Sophia, justice, austere and rolenlle.-s, is a creed. There is a fair trial for all, but no escape fur the guilty—"Fiat justitia, coelum mat!" sho sjiys in effect. If a procession of malefactors wcro to pass her drawingroom window en route to the scaffold, she would sit. them with folded arms, and gazo at tho ypeclaclo unmoved, with a "servt.'-tliem-riglil" expression on her severe counlrancc. The domestic broom is to her a Sword of the Lord and of Gideon, a Besom of Uightoousness for the casting-out of divers iniquities. 1 know that if I should suddenly die of tobacco heart, Aunt Sophii! would bestow no pity upon my unfortunate corpse. She would intimate to my sorrowing kin that my demise was a judgment upon mo for my sins of extravagance in tho matter of shilling cigars. This knowledge, 1 regret to My, does not occasion me much mental discomfort, though it serves to regulate my diplomacy when we meet, and compels me to sharpen my wits when, for example, we aro discussing the sins of (he Government, or some question -of topical moment. To u woman of Aunt Sopliia's temperament, the simple statement that such is so, is quite inadequate. "To be well chewed before swallowing" is, j n Aunt Sophia's well-ordered life, a.s essential to the digestion of a fact as it is to the digestion of a chop. However, I merely mention these points in order to explain my Aunt's apparent reluctance to believe my statement that the Ward Government was using tho enormous funds of the State to buy votes, instead of spending the money on such works as would most benefit the country as a whole; and this also explains tho severe cross-examination I had to put up with last, night. "I have been thinking over that statement of yours very carefully, Charles," she began, screwing up her pencil. "Quite right, Aunt," I replied. "Look before you leap, you know." "If it is true, then it is nothing more nor less than sheer bribery and corruption," commented Auut Sophia, in a scandalised voice. , 1 (licked the ash of tho cigar. "That's what it is," I replied. "But how—Parliament vote's the money, doesn't it?". "And Cabinet spends it—see?" "No, I don't see, Charles. When Parliament votes money for a certain thing " "Cabinet sometimes spends it on something else." "But isn't that against the will of Parliament?" "It is." "Well, then, why does Parliament allow the law to bo broken in this way?" "'Unfortunately, my dear Aunt, the law is not broken. It is not even strained. It, iu a manner of speaking, positively smiles upon such proceedings." Had Aunt Sophia been a man, the erpression on her face would have led mo to anticipate some such remark as "Well —I'll bo hanged!" Being a woman, she merely looked as if she might be. To be quite precise, Aunt Sophia was flabbergasted. But not for long. "Well, Charles," sho observed at length, "we might as well havo no Parliament at all, then."

"Excellent-, my dear aunt—excellent,".. I observed. "Tort'arc certainly coming On. Having discovered so much for yourself, I will now tell you a.-little story—a true story, mark you. Once upon a time, liefore the year 1900, there sat in the Government Buildings in Wellington a high and mighty official, called-the Controller and Auditor-General. He was-not.a. Civil Servant, appointed by the' Government,-, but a Parliamentary officer, independent of the. Government, appointed ior ( -|lie # purpose 'of seeing''that- every pemiy'/Ep'eni' in the Government was spent according to tho laws of tho country. If the Government attempted to spend money- in- an improper way, tho Auditor-General would refuse to pass tho account. Well, now, the Government used to try it ou now. and then, but this Audi tor-Genera! had an eagle eye, and a .spuie like a steel rod " "What do you mean by that J" . "Plenty of will-power, dogged determination, you know—quite a different sort of person from your amiable friend Mr. Buddo, for example. • •• "He's not my friend," observed Aunt Sophia, frigidly. "However," 1 proceeded, "to return to our muttons, as the saying is. The Au-ditor-General used to stick up those illegal payments, ami every time ho did-so Ike Government would smash tho . furniture " ■ ■ ■■'"- \ "Charles!" "Beg pardon. I mean, the Government would get fearfully annoyed about it." "That's more intelligible, Charles, and certainly more elegant," commented Aunt Sophia. "Thanks, awfully, I'm sure. Anyway, tlio Government at last cauio to the conclusion that (he wings of tho ■AuditorGeneral ought to bo clipped, and clipped they were, right enough." "How?" queried Aunt Sophia, looking up her notebook. I rose and walked over to the bookcase and i-elected a volumo entitled "Statistic. lilOn," and also a bound volume of "Hansard," No. 115. "In the year, 1000, in the last session of Setldon's Parliament, and right towards th? end of a .particularly arduous spell of long uight'sittings, and" in a thin House, the Premier introduced an amendment to tho Public Revenues Act. This Act, I ought to explain, contains all the legal provisions which Koveru tho receipt and expenditure of public money. I needn't go into the details, because they're too technical. However, Jlr. .Soddon introduced his amending Bill, and got it through, but not without fierce opposition, for it simply reeked of unconstitutional proposals. I'll explain two which ought to liavo sufficed to kill the Bill right off. Previously, certain salaries and pensions paid by the State were fixed by statute," and the amounts could not be increased—the Auditor-General saw to that. Well, then, one of Seddon's proposals was to give tho Government power to pay, at its own discretion, mind, amounts in excess of tho!-c fixed by statute. In other word?, it gave to tho Ministry a power of patronage—of_ conferring favours—which spelt inevitable corruption, no matter what Government was in power, Ward's or Seddon's. Ihis power of patronage enabled tLe Ward Government to pay large fat fees to the Chief Justice for special services, and ynu know what the public thinks about that. My aunt said nothing, but scribbled industriously in her notebook. "The. oilier proposition was to give Cabinet tho power to tran?for\Parliamentary votes for works. A\ hat 1 mean is this: We'll nuppo.se, for example, that Parliament voted .£3OOO for a bridge across the- Hutt Itiver. This vote appears in th" Intimates of expenditure classified under 'Heads and Bridges.' During the recess an- agitation is raised for n bridge in the Motucka district, and tho Honourable Uoddy "Who is her" "Minister for Public Works—the Honourable Uoddy comes into the Cabinetroom, makes frightful noises in his beard, and the money for tlvn Hutt Bridge is switched off to the- Motucka district. That's an illustration of what, the amendment to tho Public Works Revenues Act makes possible. ' That is what is meant by buying votes—or, rather, it is on? form of buyiim voles. You can see now how tho Government, with this power in its hands can work the Public AVi>rks Funds to suit its own ends?" "Perfectly," said Ann! Sophia. "Hero's another point." 1 aiiduil. "Tho theory of good government ii Hint (he needs' of Ihe country should bo regarded as a whole, and tho expenditure of money on public v,-orl;9 should liavo regard d> Ihe benefit of the whole. Well, now, (he Government point* to its estimates, and says, in effect, 'Behold, wo have dealt out justice to all, without prejudice!-' Sounds very iiiee, doesn't it ? But what happens? The money which is voted by Parliament is not all spent—the Government votes money which it knows quite well cannot be spent—and ;it Ihe end of the financial year the vote lapses. So there you are again. "But they could vote Ihe money the following year, couldn't, they?" "They could, and oftentimes they do—it is part' of the process of striugiuj-on the electors." "But if they premised—'•'

"Pooh! I've seen promises broken in tho most barefaced manner. Satisfied uow?" I asked. "What I can't understand is how such a Bill as tho Public Revenues Act Amendment ever passed into law." "Could you understand a man voting against that Bill and accepting a portfolio under the same political party some years later?" I asked. "Good gracious. No! Who would do such a thing?" . I threw away the butt of tho cigar. "I'owlds did," I replied. "The Honourable George Fowlds!" "Yes, my dearest aunt, the Honourable George Fowlds—ami tho Hon. T. Mackenzie, as well. Now, aunt, you can go along to. your friends in the Political Reform League and tell "'em you've been permitted a glimpse at. the Tammany Tiger." "The. what?—Oh! I see. Yes. J will. I'll describe it to them. Good night."