MR. F. M. B, FISHER.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1180, 15 July 1911, Page 6

MR. F. M. B, FISHER.

Sir,—l will admit right here an 3 now that even the "we" (whoever they may be) would never dream of calling Mr. Fisher "dismal." Ho is as lively as a monkey on a stick, and of just as'much use. This erudite preacher of political morals tries to take 1110 to task for not having stated at my meeting, what everybody already knew, that the issue of leasehold versus freehold came upon a 110confidence motion of Mr. Massey's. Then this great teacher proceeds to tell mankind in general that a no-confidence motion "supersedes all minor details." So we arrivo at this, that according to Mr. P. 11. B. Fisher, tho land question is a minor detail,' and the main question is: "Who will get hold of tho cash box?"

Mr. Fisher knows I was not there when tho vote was taken, and 110 also knows that • I was attending to important public business at the time, and could not be in two places at once. Of course, it is difficult for a sprightly person such as he, who can bo on two sides at once and do it easy, to understand why another cannot'bo.in two, or even more, places, at one and the same time. In my experience of Mr v I'isher I have known him to be present at four distinct committees, which wero sitting in different quarters at tho same time, and ho could tell all of them what ought to be done bettor than an.v----0110 who had sat all the time through and worked instead of sailing in anrl out with all the airs imaginable. As for my being iu the waistcoat pocket of cither tho Government, the Opposition, or anybody else, I havo no doubt there are some who would liko me there, because a good coin is always of use when found in anyone's pocket; but I am sure that 110 0110 would think of putting Mr. Fisher into their waistcoat;' or any other, pocket, who had any regard for themselves. It is not tho habit of'" Mr. Fisher to rise and speak in the morning hours (because ho is very seldom ihere); but 111 the early nart of the evening, when the Ladies' Gallery is full, you cau behold him spreading himself to catch tho ladies' eyes, you can hear him roll out sonorous sounds and words, words, whilst lie watches out of one eye the grand effect upon his dear admirers of both sexes.

The statement about the Bills Mr. Fisher has had passed .through the House reminds me of the man who proposed that a nbw plauet should he created, and when an astronomer told him that thero was such a, planet as.he desired, he replied, "O,.yes, I know. It was me that made it." llr. Fisher had just as much to do with some of the Bills he mentions from timo to time as the other conceited person had to do with making the new planet. I remember Mr. Fisher's Sunday Labour Bill, manufactured by Mr; E. J. Carey. Secretary of the {Jocks' and Waiters' Union, and .how, Mr. Carey asked me to keep an eyo'on the baby, and I told him he would be better to keep two eyes oil tho jiurso who had taken it up. The little Bill came before the Labour Bills Committee, and the nurse could not be found. This is the person to leave your. infant with. The member for Wellington Central [says "he.met Mr. Andrew Fisher," and "he wishes we had more of his typo in New Zealand." Personally I do not know the Andrew Fishers that we already have, but I am much of tho opinion that the Hon. Andrew Fisher will fully appreciate the patronage bestowed upon him by the member for Wellington Central (that is when tli3 Hon. Andrew gets a little timo off from such trifles as governing the Commonwealth of Australia). It is both ludicrous and painful to cqntemplate tho political conceit and bombast of the great high "Don," who reels off his ilipparit references to men of standing and character as if he was speaking on the subject of "swashbucklers I liavo met." I have no doubt that the Prime Minister of Australia is worthy of his name,' but it must be remembered that "all Fishers do net go to tho same pool." The Fisher of Australia is satisfied with tho clear water of plain straight dealing, whilst tho I Fisher of Wellington City has been dabbling in muddy waters ever since his political birth. i Instead of spending time on such as myself, I would suggest to Mr. F. M. B. Fisher that he might make up parcels of his "crisp and up-tc-date material" for sneeclies, and send supplies on to the German Emperor, President. Taft, Asquith, Lloyd-George, Balfour, Itamsay Macdounld, Keir Hardie, and other great speakers and leaders. Only such giants would be capahle of using the high-ch'.ss matter which would bo supplied, and I am sure Mr. Fisher ir. capable of making tho offer. He is capable of offering thunder to tho gods ■and telling fate how to arrange tho stars in the heavens for the evening's entertainment.—l am, etc., D. M'LAEEX.