THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1127, 15 May 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. (By iI.C.K.) A good many people have been inqiiiring as ro the (lovernment's policy, saying that Mr. Millar did not mention it in his Duncdin spreeh, so far, at any rate, as the reporls of the speech show. Altonlion is. therefore, called to (he fact that, the policy will h? found stated in full on the right-hand lower corner of page 10 of this issue, beneath the imprint. (Atlvt.) We are obliged, by the way, to a local contemporary's art critic for a phrase thai, well dpM-ribcs the Government's policy. Ho referred, in his nolo on a certain picture in a local art show, to Ihe most prominent feature of the landscape as a "(rcoltss oak." . The Hon. A. Fisher, the Australian I'rinic Minister, is not cast down by (he result of the referendum. "The people's will," he declared, "must eventually triumph over all obstacles." If this s-r-ems rather confusing to yon, you had lic'ler buy tho Australian labour Catechism, and turn 9G5: What is the population?— Five millions. What is tho will of the pcople?-Tho will of the trades unionists. How m-iiiy trades unionists are there?— Four per cent, of the nation. The other 95 per cent, are "scabs." What is their will?— The noblest aspirations of humanity. What is Hie will of the 96 per cent.?— Pure faction and sordidues:-. Was tho election of the Fisher Government a triumph for the will of the people?—lt was: a. glorious triumph. The will of the people inusi prevail. Was the rejection of the Referenda proposals the will of the people?—Xo, it was the triumph of the unnonular will. Do you believe in majority rule?— Certainly. If the majority had said "Yer," would you have accepted the decision?—Of course. But it has said "No." Do .you accept that. vert!ict?-No, for that was tho brutal tyranny of tho majority. What is justicc?-Giving us what we want. What is tyranny'-Outvoting us. What is an obstacle?-The rotten franchise that gives votes to tyrants. To the.unpopular will, that is to say?— Yes, only the popular will should have a voice. The four per cent., in other words?-Ycs. Under the British Government's Unemployment Insurance Bill it is provided that rsferces shall be appointed, who shall decide whether an'applicant for unemployment pay must take a job. W'ich justifies this 'ere remark I allus make on these occasions: Life's all a, fraud, a bilk, a nark, A three-card trick, an' like evasions. Wot looks all right an - span an' spick Ter wuckors' eyes, ia just a trick. Oft, sittin' 'ore, I've thoueht a lot ■On wuckers' woes, an' sipped me pewter, An' tricks an' slants, I've found, is wot Them woes alluded to is duo ter. 'lire's this, the best of all the batch Apparently, 'as got a catch. Life's all a catch, so' strike me pink! For instance, w'en foul fatted Mammon Hemarks, "I've cash ter spare," you thinks 'Erc's something yer can go grand slam on. Yer call, an' find, with blood a-boil, It's just a dodga ter make y.cr toil. Take Ilarbilration! Oh! yer gleeTer think of wages ever 'ighcr! Poor wuckin' blokes, yer failed ter see They'd 'a>c a blpomin' crook empire,' An' let tho other side, ter boot, Present ITS case, in the dispute. Tricks! tricks! all tricks! Yer thought Lloyd-George 'Ad made 'is scheme fer your enjoyment, A scheme fer vaickin'-hlokes. ter,.-gorge ~, Upon the beer of hunemployment. But lo! the catch is there, I sees, That dodgo about the referees. I knoo they'd 'avc a catch ter rob :.-• The toiler of 'is promised pleasure By ofierin' a bloomin' job Instead of beer an' cheese an' leisure. Alas! ter think Lloyd-George should trick The wuiker thus! It makes mo sick. . Ever since Sir Kobert Stout, quoted fiom Longfellow's translation of Dante Ministers have been feeling very happy, and can hardly conceal the impatience with which they are wailing for somebody to attack their attitude on the land question. They feel as M. Jourdain felt when he discovered that he had been talking prose all the lime without knowing it. They have all unconsciously been behaving, in the matter of their land policy, in (ho true f-pirit of philosophy. And now they are happy. No more secret snuirnihigs and red-faced' s-ilences when somebody calls them (he Yes-No party. No more laborious wriggling before a vulgarly-chuckling populace. That is all over. It will cnly be necessary to quote the passage so kindly provided by Sir liobort Stout. 1 can imagine Mr. Buddo referring to the Florentine ns

"thiit groat statesman" and rolling off the blessed words. But I like best (o imagine Mr. Buddo giving his bookseller an order for all of Dante's works, and then solemnly reading them. Or Mr. Koderick M'Kenzie fiercely examining the Vita Xiiora to find a precedent for his

"spoils to the victors" policy. Or Dr. Findlay's surprise when he returns to find his quotations liable, to be capped at any time by something out of the Commedin.

"Believe it, Henncssy? Iv coorso I believe it," said Mr. Dooley when Mr. Hennessy asked his opinion upon the statement, made at the meeting at which a Eugenics Society was established, that it is now being realised that crime is a disea.-o. "I've always believed it. It has pained mo whin I've seen 111' wife-beater called a crim'nal an' th' burrglar .a ruJTccn, an' I'm glad t' see th' dawn iv a brighter day whin th' garrotter will no longer be referred to as. th' accused, but as th' patient. Copper is an ojious wurrd. The cop will in future be called th' health inspector an' th' coorts will be called consultin' rooms, an' so fcortli. We've progris-ed, Ja'wn, since th' ba-ad old days whin they just shoved (ho pickpocket into gaol. That's all very well f'r th' darrk ages, but to-day we .irre not satisfied with oucientific methods. Crime, is a disease. Wud ye run so far agen th' spirit iv th' nc,o as f forgot that th' firrst thing t' do with th' invalid who has kicked his wife's teeth out is t' investigate his case llnir-ly. In th' days iv rule o' thumb, th' Coort said 'Y'onspoakablo devil, tin years.' To-day Hi , Coort patiently investigates th' man's o'reor. His nurrso gives evidence as t' bis behaviour whin teethin', an' his life is thraced step by step t J manhood, a searrchin' inquiry bein' made into his opinion on Freclrado, th' number' iv, lumps iv sugar he takes in his tea, th' variations iv hi.- diet, what he thinks iv lirowning an' Dickens, an' how he voted at last election, with special attention (' whether tl , .' mutton was boiled or roast on th' day whin his disease sent his wife I.' th' hospital. Yes, .Tawn, I like Hint. Crime is a disease. Threat it as such." ■ ,

"But, Dooley, yo will increase crime turr'ble," protested Mr. Hcnnosjy.

"Why? Crime is a disease. But thin, I ivud also insist that th' antiquated idea that gaol an , th' cat' an' th' noose is punishments shud also lie abandoned, "fis an error t' think that th' cat is punishment: 'tis a mild febrifuge. Let us rcnliso that gaol is a tonic f'r moral invalids, T bo pcrscvairal in, nn' Hi' noose ;v surrgieal insthrnnient an' not, as some, people think, a barbarous survival iv Hi' days whin nobody dhreamed iv raisin' a benefit concert f'r th' poor side felly thai conlhraclcd a painful attack iv burrglary,"