THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1115, 1 May 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

.(Br M.C.K.).

At the Trades Hall, on Thursday fast:— iron's, wot's tho Teason of this 'ideoue rout? . ■ .' .ffot's caused the triumph of tho 'ated foo .Wot, grinds us down ter powder? Face- , tho fao's! Alammon is gloatin'; Wen it read tho list An' saw our ticket busted up, 'o cheered in' 'ad a champagno bath, an' 'owlcd "Ho. ho, 'A.little longer, now as Carey's out An' Keaidon numbered with tho .also started, An , Keyling, Jordon, an", them other blokes Way down the list; why, now, a little longer Ml suck the blood o' wuckin' men an women 'An' gorge moself still further."- 'Ow is this? Some says tho ticket was too big an' some Too little; an' I 'ear some say the weather It was as caused this blow ter liberty, This 'orrid rout wot's caused despair Throughout tho world. 'Earin' tho noosi the Tsar 'As been emboldingsd to socio fresh atrocities; In Englan' Jlammo:: 'as bin go cnoourased That noble, old Keir 'Ardie'3 disappeared, ■A, warrant bein' hout fer 'is arrest. Some says our vicns upon tho 'oliday "As dono it, others say they faked the figures, . ■ ■'And' others give another hexplacation , Of this, tho most anpallin' thing wot 'appened * Sinco Kosciusko fell a=d Freedom shrieked. But I says dill'rent. Frcn'3, I know the cause. Wot was the cause? I , say it was the public. Down with the public!- Let us concentrate. Fcr w'ile the public 6tan's an" blocka tho path . . . ' ■ iWe won't get anywhere. Look at Orstralia! l Tho public ia the henomy, mo fren's, I move- tho xcsolootion standin' in my ! name "■'As roller's: "That the publio 'as no function Except t?r pay the rates' and llnd our ; wages, - . .. . - '•And therefore or.ly wuckcrs shall 'are yojes."- . . ' . . ' ■ "You may talk lightly of a Bishop," eaid Bishop Julius at Auckland. With this episcopal sanction, therefore, let us talk of th» following statement by his , lordship: If your Bishop comes in the fullness of faith, to Auckland, and looks on tho little land of his diocese, sees strife and factions, parties looking for fights, not souls, I sees numbers who belong- to no church, outcast women, neglected children, ho '-vii\l see behind all this the gospel of life which will bear him up in his many ;trials and difficulties.' ' - Perhaps, being a Bishop, he would 6ee that. But Bishops are not infallible. To the eye of the Labonr leader what would appear behind this very unpleasant picture? He would see, first, 'ated Mammon, .undated Mammon means: (1) Tho lieces- ' jit}-'for no work and lots of wages, (2) ' the right to work, which is the right to be' kept by those who' work, (3) the need for free' bosr for , workers and high salaries for Labour agitators,! and (4) the nocessity for, abolishing poverty by a short amending Act. Mr. Tregear would eee behind it all something that we are unable to describe, but that wo can ■faintly indicate a's the visions that—no, wo cannot even faintly indicate them. We could draw them, but drawings are out ohthe question just now.. The politician .would,see in the chaos only a number of miscellaneous voters who must be got at somehow. The Prohibitionist would see behind it a dark and deadly brewery. The Victoria College professors would feel certain that they could faintly discern a' Judge named Stout. Mr. do not think Mr. Buddo would see anything behind it. He would, just beam at it vaguely. And we—wo • should see behind it only the shadowy shapes of Adam and Eve. The ■ Eev. B. Walker, of the No-Licotfo party,' insists that under Prohibition you can bT6w your licuor at home. "He has conferred with two influential members of the Houfe'of Representatives, both of whom are supporters of tho No-License '. movement, asd both of them agree with him. Ho adds that if the contention is correct, it completely undermines statements in regard to compelling peoplo to be teetotallers and interfering with their liberty, as set out in Professor Salmond's pamphlet. ' When your blood is slowly curdling as the speaker makes it clear that '.twas Satan brewed the sin-juice that is sold to you as beet, and , yon shudder to discover that tho wine you found so nice was in fact the fatal poison of some fiendish sacrifice; when you learn with starting eyeballs that the men you know who 'drink, Bishops, plumbers, clerks, and Premiers, all are tottering on the brink; ■and you see an awful'vision of the evil 'imps who gloat as the "irritant narcotic" jeoftly trickles down your throat; when ,you hear that down in Hades there's a favourite toast "Tho Hop," that in Heaven the only tipple you can get is ginger pop, that tho world is., bad and rotten till'the liquor's rooted out and Geneva's but a memory and men talk no more of stout; and you'rise, half-mad with terror,. to assist the glorious cause of abolishing tho irritant narcotic, KINDLt PAUSE! Hear the words of Mr. Walker. (Ha! you shuddered at the name! It was often oh the label when you used to say "the same.") Mr. Walker is indignant at the lies of those who say .that Prohibition means to sweep tho awful stuff away. It doesn't. 'Tis a falsehood! And the tale that drink will go when wo carry Prohibition is a fiction of the foe. To abolish ardent spirits is a thing we don't desire and to say we don't desiro it. stamps. a person as a liar. Mr. Walker has tho pleasure of announcing that we still, in the days of Prohibition, can get fighting drunk at will. Still tho bead will crown the whisky, still the fierce new beer may foam, still tho irritant narcotic will mako glad your happy home. So rejoices Mr. Walker, and he's mado it nice and plain; and you, poor friend, are wondering if they're coming on again. "Now, Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "don't bn puttin' on thim airs with me," and Mr. Hennessy's arrogant.air gave place at once to his usual humility. "No, ■Jawn, I know ys, ye see. I'm not th' Urge an' intelligent public that reads th' London 'Daily Mail'. Don't let Joe's speeches carry ye away. Don't think that if yo wuz t' go t' London th' 'Times' wnd havo a loadin' article about 'our distinguished visitor fr'm New Zealand". Ye know yo don't believe Joo whin ho talks here, rn' ye know that th' ozono on th 1 ■sea-thrip hasn't fundamentally altered him. Iv coorsc I can imagine that parrts 17 London is par'lysed with admiration an' rushin' th' book-shops f'r han'-books about us, but what 1 think most iv is Jce's wondherful raysourco. He is interriewed be th' 'Daily Mail/ an' ho says, 'I do not want t' interfere, or t , luk like gettin' in ahead, iv mo foller Primeers,' ho says, 'but I feel that no time shud bo lost, , he says, 'in statin' tV feelin' iv New Zealan'. Owin' t' th' pure climate, th' people there,' ho says, 'has a wondherful power iv penethration, such as is impossib'o in this foggier lan' shackled h.vconvention. What I am about t' say, therefore, may sound a darin' par'dox t' Englan',' he says, 'but I believe ye will sooner or. lai'er adop,' tb.' theory iy. New;

Zealan'. An , th' needs iv th' Empire i-s such that I mus' risk th' onpop'larity iv th' innovator bo sarin', , ho says, 'that if th' navy is invincible, they won't be able't' beat it,' ho says. 'Yes,' ho says, as th' interviewer looks doubtful, 'New Zealan' is convinced iv that. Nor enn I shut mo eyes t' th' fac\ which I shall expoun' at th' Imperial Conference, that lh' Empire is worth savin', an' is, as.l can speak fr'm perrsonal knowledge, of large extent.' Xex' day he is interviewed be th' representatives iv five lmndhred papers, an' ho says, 'Tell Englan',' he snys, 'that th' people iv New Zealan' f)i'-io convinced, afther long study, that tli' gr-reat pbjec' shud be t' make th' Empire a powerful wan.' ]So this time th' 'Times' is prinlin' letthers fr'm eminent statesmen, who arc advancin' theories f account f'r th' wondherful mental ciovelopmint iv th' New Zealander, an' Joe niton's th' puro food banquet. 'On behalf iv th' people iv New Zealan',' he says, 'I have a message f deliver. They are firrmly attached t' th' ideo iv pure food.' He goes t' th' banquet iv th' Philatelic Society, an , amidst cheers says that New Zealan' has follied th' Philatelic conthroversy with intenso intherest, an' hopes f'r a statesmanlike settlement iv it. An' all th' pa-apers is printin' an exthra edition, called th' Warrd edition, an. , th' Unionist party,gets a new policy, which is th' turrnin' out iv Asquith an' th , importation iv New Zealanders t' run th* counthry. Their idee iv you wud surprise ye, Jawn. They think ye're a composite photograph iv Napoleon, Sir Isaac Newton, Gladstone, th' Poto Laurect and th' editor iv th' Encyclopaedia, Britannica. 'Tis a gran' advertisement f'r us. Annywan wud lon' money t , peoplo like that. We're made men, Jawn. There's only one thing I'm afraid iv." "What that?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "That some disloy'l Nw' Zealander at Home may mention me frind Buddo. 'Twud spoil it all."