THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 4, Issue 1054, 18 February 1911, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

|> BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.. . " IBr'M.CXJi "Hallo, what's this P" • said Jones. I "A cablo messago from New York says ■that tho town ,of' Ellensburg, U.S.A:, las decided to tax bachelors, and spins- • ten over tho ago of twenty-seven." 'j'Mohstronsl" said Smith. "To tax bachejors is'bad enough; but to tax - spinsters!" ' 1 "Anyway," said Robinson, "it's only | fair. Women -will bo men, as tho sayr iiiß goes. Trouscrettes, clubs, tlio [ euft'rage/ and so oil. Why. not treat f 'em as meji, then?" "They'll havo to pass a law.allow- !. ing tho ladies to propose,". said Jiggs. [ ■■■•"And a law to protect tlio men," «.; said Jaggs. M 4 "But suppose* a girl simply can't got: ft man to proposo?" said Brown. "Any woman can marry 'any man if L sho, likes," said Black. I. "Docs it say whether tho,tax will.bo ' tho same in both cases?" asked White. "I don't liko theso wild-cat schemes L of .-taxation," said Green. ; "Monstrous 1" Smith repeated. "It's an outrago'on tlio femalo sex." "Why worry?" asked Jones. "There • aren't! any spinsters over twenty-seven. •Ask 'cm." It is n littlo disheartening, just as ono is lic<sbniing used to tho hobblo skirt, : and-approaching tlio point of a final readjustment of 'olio's ideas to that /' finest; development'- of,,'tho. spirit .of v. fasliion, to bear, that it.is'already oiit- .! dated. 1 :. ;Aciblo'messago;reports that M. Poirot, tho famous, boss' of 'feminino fashion, has swept'on to tho liarem skirt;.and it.'beconios..n.ecQS.s;iry, therc- ' fore;', formally to resign tlio task of : kecping'abreastof things. Resignation . herewith': ' 'Tooihot li the'paco. any more for mo. to follow; . You may count mo; out u, anachronistic, jnlease.' ■ * ■ In antiquity's (i.e.. yesterday's) dust I'll , : • -Wallow, ■ •' , .t • And,. leiiurcly, take my case. 1 havo.clune to tho.,skirts of - Progress: ■ touch', and tircloSß . >I 'vo kept abreast us they rushed. thctc • ■- • IFrom - tho - sixuouny tiost, through 1 the cablc, on -to wireless, ' ' From tho, train, through tho' motor, on to-the aerial erase. 2 hive keot my- head .throueh the onwarA rush of science, Never at fault from tno time of Darwin on : . > • > To now, when.l know I'm a clot of whirline ions . ...... . {(Although tomorrow will find THAT , notion' eone). . . • . .

I sride'' myself-that-I. followed the hunt •cach day with Tho-dash (though I'm old) of a mental

Mercuryi. Quito easily, .dally, I nut myself au fait ■ with .i •

I The furious Emplrc-monecra' dernier crL [ Hotter the pace each day. but no toi ! morrow [• • (I told mj-eelf) for mo will bare to wait; Why. fast as even Sir Joseph Ward could t, ■ > i borrow, ■ h' I Icept the tally, fatigued. but up-to-date.

I But now you can count mo out: the modes | of vromen . . ■ I Aro' far too fast tor-a' fainting brain | to.-grin.: ' - ' - !\ 1 havo:grusped the modes that tho girls I look clump or slita in ! Thns far, but they'vo given me now, at last, the slip.

'! Scarce' grasped, tho hobblo already is t antiquated— ■ . r ! A 'mußty -memory, lost "to the ken of . man : ■ 1. In tho Tlmo.ijjo wither unceleh ■ • brated',. „ : ,1..,, 1 ; . With Babylon, last' week's novel. • and r poor Queen. Anne. ~ 1,, ~/ J I, hare: loved tho heat of the chase and l' tho-flyine quarry. ; . I But hero I end while it whirls on its [ endless way:. E 810 transit gloria mundl: Viclstl Poiretl— 1 . I'll lounge a whllo in'tho dust of yes- | tcrday. " . ■ ' ■ |. 'According to a correspondent of a f. ■ contemporary that had smell from tho | sumps attached to. tho drains is ,really | nothing, moro than tho salt-sea, air. }- Tho other "cities, 110 : doubt, will, do ,all p thati requires to bo done in tho way of enlarging: upon this fact. Their f nowt,papers i will, tell their readers of a [ Wellington man who went to tho coun-. ■ try for a holiday, and leant against tho j pigsty, breathing in what ho thought was tho fragranco of liew-mowa hay [ that'.ho .had read'about.-'Thoy . will I ; say ; that tho Wellington public's tasto j in all matters is utterly depraved; that 1 ■ spring-water gives tlio Wellington man |, ,sovero pains; that you cannot persuade r him that tlio red and bluo poster adi vertising, Tearem's Trousers is not a Rembrandt;! that, when 110 hears a distant, flax-mill ho thinks it is "Homo Swcot Homo"'being , played by Sousa's "band, and so on. Or tlioy may tako an- ; other lino, and say that sharks die ; tho i moment they approach within a ■ milo 'of tho■ Wellington heads; that' ■tho water from tho city supply will

■ trcmovo ink stains from clothing; and rtliat. sort of thing." But'liono of them 'will bo philosopher.'onougli to say that llifo in Now Zealand consists in great measure of thinking that ozono is sewer-

| fgasj and sewer-gas ozone. ,I'm not very j suro, $at I would-not'rather mistake tho", sea-air for tho drains than raisI take'tho Premier's speeches for oratory, ' . or borrowing for statesmanship. When i -tho .present Government is removed, ; and tho era of "Liberalism" gives way f .to tho era of Liberalism without tho | quotation marks, tho country will bo I full of peoplo complaining about' the

' political,drains. Tiio man who leaves; I tho works for a trip'to [/Mount Cook always ascribes tho dis-

turbance of his olfactory, nerves to tho smell 'of the glaciers. '

"I see," said Mr. Doolcy, "that th*

, | London ..'Times' condcnscs our .pollytics ! If'r tli'• year nineteen toil into th' fac' j '-that • Lorrd 'Islington kem an' Loird | Plunkeb went."" i '"Tis an outrage," commented ' Mr. |. TTeniiessy. j '"Tis an outrago that .our pollytics

i didr) ! t consist iv that, ' Jawn. But f whatis'throublin' mo is th 1 harrm that , British igrioranco is doin' t'ith' boil's iv I Empiro. Wrapped up its pretty affairs, | onablo t* lult- beyon' th' parish pump, ?.;■ busy, with its thrival an'. sorrded throuJ- blos—L bclicvo thero wuz ft quar'l about !; th' 'Houso iv Lords; Keir Ilardio wantjl cd t',' smoke' in it, I think—tli' insular S Briton, as Hogari calls him, is onawaro [ that we're matin' histh'ry at th' rato iv near'siren''millions a year at 081 I per cintl Pollytics 1 Wo wuz full iv ' pollytics. . Tlicy wuzn't annythin',

' liar'ly, but pollytics. Yo wud onfold - th' jra-aper, at breakfast, an' sco somo : black headlines so big yo cud almost i hear them. ''Tis a relief t'havo a. good ;■ murrder,' yo wud say as yo fumbled

f'r 'yerc spectacles, an 1 thin yo wud

find'it wuz Joo explainin' how thMoan succcoded .'or th' Attorney-Gen'ral's

eighty-fifth' talk t' th' League iv Amal

gamate'd Mutual UpliftiTs on Porous Cndllcrwear an' -Social Bctthormint. As ye wint t l ' th' office peoplo wud push pamphlets into ycro' pockets. Tli' only place. wlicro' yo cud cscapo fr'm politics wuz th' Houso iv Parlymint, an'

tiiero th' atmosphoro was onhealthily heated be mo frind Joo explainin' th' 1/ full particulars iv tli' famous occaiV sion whin ho wuz prcsinted with a gold j;' niedil. ■ Pctono wuz intensely cxcitcd. [ Onrcst. prevailed in Waipulturau. An' 1 . th' London 'Times' says that nawthin' : happenedbat Lorrd Fluhkot's depar-

turo an' Lorrd Islington's arrival. Howcan tli--ban's stall' -tli*-stlirain iv this ignorance? • llow can wo keep our love f'r tli' gran' old Mother Lan' ? llogan disagrees with; mc. 'That's a|l right,' lio says, 'but befnro yo cut tli' lion's an' befuro Joo withdraws his advertisement fr'm tli' "Times," what about yeresilf ho say. 'What do yo know iv tli' pollytics iv Scnegamhia? D'yo know a tiling iv tli' furious controversies ragin' in Behichistan? Yo don't.' But llogan wroto tli' , pamphlet, so what can y' oxpect? Iv coorse, I wish notliin' had happened but what tli' 'Times' said. But afther all our polljties, afther tol'ratin' Buddo an' Lorn'son, afther listenin't' Hogg, afther all this painful arrangement, ,'tis turr'blo hard t' havo it said that liawthin' happened. I want mo money back, Jawn."