THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 907, 29 August 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

;? X BIRD'S-EXfcIJEW.

(Bt ii.C.L)

Tho. New Zealand Federation of.Labour is tired of pottercrs. ,It intends to get to work without delay, and has announced,- through its President, that it intends to "relegate to tho backwash ofj oblivion" "tho system that bred pauperism on the one hand and multimillionaires on the other."' This, of course, is,only-to begin with, When poverty and inequality have been abolished, as they-will be,at lioon on the 31st instant, steps will be- token •to . eradicate , air traces -and' reminders' of -the present ! inequality. 'For example, all the mathc--matical' text-books will bo revised in order that there may-bo -left. no, suggestion that x is ever greater than y. After completing the sociological reformation, tho. Federation-will turn-its attention to meteorology. 'Why "should-Monday be wet and 'Tuesday fine? What has Monday done? The Federation-expects to meet with Osgood deal of opposition, but it intends ; to pay.no attention to the interested persons who'talk'of" "natural laws." This talk, as the President intends to show, is simply in the interests of the Umbrella Trust. Instead" of blazing sunshirip on one hand, and fog and rain and frost on'the other, we shall'have perfectly equal days. The sunshine and fog and rain and frost, instead of being dis-ffiKuteH''-with'6ut'''fcgarß'"%' r iiquality ) 'will' be spread- evenly- ovor the -year, so that each day Will contain a little of each of them. A cpmnvjtteo : is' investigating horticulture. ' It is proposed to enact, for example, that, all cabbages ■: shall be.' tho same,, result that can be achieved by cutting;down those.which exceed the regulation size and pinning-the, leaves thus removed to the' smaller.plants. The unequal:.length; of'this days in nnd'winter is believed'by the Federation to be' due to the revolution/of the sun round .the'-eavth, and this; it is feared, cannot be.prevented--for the present, at any rate. .■ • ■'■:': -,-

Dri Findlay made an interesting statement in tho Legislative Council'the pther.

"■"I visited Lyttelton Gaol in February of tho'year'l.fopkpmc'e as Minister for Justice.", I -asied"the gaoie-r'.to show me the cells .which had least light/and I got him; to lock me in, and I tried to read. Hut I. could, not, notwithstanding.-thc fact that.it was.the month- of February and summer, time'. It was about four o'clock in the afternoon.' I ask'.kow can you expect to reform people who were defective to begin with. under - a system. such as this?' You or' I,' surely, /would degenerate; if wo'were'exposed night.after night to treatment of this description."■■•

The" Attorney-General.-is such nuts on notions that everybody ought, to help,him with suggestions, for the scheme of practical' work which' he. is doubtless planning for members "of the legislature. It would-be pleasant to - have. the' views 61 the.Minister for Lands on onions.- "Having thus," he would say, "spent two million'; pounds, and six" : months' labour in trying to save both onions,-and-being in the", position of hot being able'.to, ,rcar, more, thin., one. on, the- 610; acres of'.first-' class-or; 2000. acres of-second-class land, I have no hesitation'in : saying that we must recognise that if '-.weare to lie in the position of : abolishing the .999 years' . lease, then.l shall not be a party in that way to the.' prevention of onions,, being unablo to grow, as I have"said, 'in"loss than that time.": And; Mr. ■ Poole Would .probably, come back'next session to„ tell. i us;ihat the physique, of. the ■ New Zealandor is super-' humaiii. "a conclusion I', have arrived at from seeing a' young' farmer working' for an;,h'pur' without, stopping.;, At tlio, same time; I feci'lthat this, dreadful' toil, cannot but have debasing results." 'And Mr. Carroll ; would declare .that' noxious weeds need.not be eradicated from Native lands, since/they were ineradicable excepting by. hard labour. Oh the other, hand, it is possible that if the Legislature visited tho Destructor '■■ in a body, ■ and inquired what the'farmer's.wif?;.lights,;,the fire 'with, and investigated the falling-oil in the sale of shaving paper; mcinbers'.and Ministers alike would bo. too disheartened .to- say anything at. all.. ■.'■.-..,.;:.'!.:', ■'■-\- In "The Vivian" :the 'Itov. J. J. North, in.'a.leading-article"(yes, on that very. subject),; says: ■ "I. hate publicity." .This fact is not'generally known; indeed, we believe that it is the first time that Sir: North' has; broken; through his -reserve and given it to the world.' It .comes; just in time--for'inclusion in a ■new."-volume ofu.."Popular. Misconceptions,"- which 'is'to ".be'"published« shortly, and .'froni"advance, proofs 1 of 'which we are permitted to extract \ tho' following interesting facts: ■■ ' ' • Mr.' Jack Johnson hates violence/ and has.a very strong dislike for dollars. He has .never,'in,,his',.life,.,'eai'iied. more than thirty, cents a week, which' is his meagre ,'paj^ I 'ji!j,.a"'.t( , .orkin'g. r m^jnher 1 ,; of tho First Aid Society. '" ■'• -:'. The Emperor of Germany : hates nothing so much-, as tactlessness and impetuosity. . -He-regards humility and peacefulness as tho highest of human virtues.- '.;,v,-... r ir'",;: r ;,•„';;,',", . Mr. Ay.- H. Field, M.'P.,--; holds that independencei"anil.'firmness' are essential to the politician. He. hates, party, men, and habitually, abstains from niutton,as a protest against -the weakness of the sheep and its habit of following the bell, -wether.. ", >, - The late Emperor.Nero was,an exceedingly amiable--man,- ; devotedly fond of ohildren.... His temperance stood, him in good -stead' as-.captain of; the Koine Fire Brigade.- '■■' '■■' '."•' "... Mr. P.. J..; O'Eegan carries his distaste for writing -to the press almost to the point of'eccentricity. ../. Mr. Roosevelt, on .the - other hand, likes writing, but ; he cares" as. little for publicity as Mr. North. '~,.. .; The Labour leaders • (too numerous to mention) are excessively fond of labour. Mr. Gunson, of Auckland, is a passionate admirer of Wellington. -The .half-promise of the Government that a search may'.be made through the ruins of. the-old Parliamentary Building for' the hidden- treasure that may be foiind there;.ls more, likely to cause,sorrow than, joy.', Many things, were "made one with the, night" on tho dreadful day when the mnce was burned. Perhaps the searchers ; ,may come,-, across the ghosts of some of,these lust'things. -For' there'should be a rich deposit of dropped aitches, and myriads of predicates—the predicates that slipped ont of Sir' Joseph Ward's sentences 'into the.-'cracks. A good many large-si7/cd tempers were also lost in the dear old place, which was the death-chamber, too, of many high ideals brought in by the member's for Cow Flat. Since these were never taken out again' by their owners, they must- bo somewhore in the ruins. But these are impalpable,dust, and' in any cose it is unlikely that any search party composed of M.P.'s would recognise an ideal if they saw it. And this is just as well, perhaps. For it would bo terrible if the broken pledges and lost reputations could bo identified and placed on exhibition in the Town.Hall. There is only one thing .respecting which it is possible to entertain nuy hope. This is the nail that held the flag that was nailed to the mast by Mr. M'Nab in 1906. Yes, the things that'.tho search parly can find and carry,-away,,arcinilnitcly less .interesting than" the other things that" they wouldn't brins out even if the.y couW-