THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 876, 23 July 1910, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. .(By JI.C.K.) "Mr. Noot (Wellington) said, he too wanted'to got to the heaven they were all. aiming at as workers, but lie wanted to get there a step at .a time." Surely it is pushing consistency too far to urge that wo should not knock off work so suddenly and hastily as to get into a perspiration. .

It was recently urged , that hairbrushes promote baldness and ■ scalp troubles. And now wo,havo. Mr. C. H. Poole, M.I 5 ., informing a "Mother's Day" gathering that what lie is ho owes to. the hairbrush that spanked him in. his boyhood. These unreasonable attempts ■to bring hairbrushes into disrepute are' to be doprecated. .

"An additional . advantage of this plan,' , said the eveuing paper in a liappy moment of inspiration this week, "iVoirld bo to increase the credit of tho country by excluding the 'amounts borrowed for the resumption of land from Llie consolidated debt." All wo'want iiow is the broad-minded co-operation of the British money-lender in the carrying out of this excellent idea.

It is cabied that a challenge has been lHsmai to Johnson, Kaufman,. Langford, Kotchel, or anybody else, "'on uehali of au. unnamed figliter." This must be.taken as a final:and convincing proof that he really does mean to run lor a third term as President. • . '

"Tho Bible would .not degrade the morals of any man or woman'."— lie-: lindlay, ui \ae legislative Council. . . •_'

■'What- makes the parsons look so gay? ■What makes the bishops smile? \vha-D makes.-so blithe, the sidesman as lie swaggers down the aisle? What's put poor dear old Satan in a fearful state of. rile?. Say, can. it-be.that crime and sin ' arc .going out; of date ? That sovereign* chink where, buttons, clicked of. old upon the : plate?.' That two-and sixpence' represents . the Johnson-Jef-ries "gate"?. Or is.it that the bookie is'about to/.get the/boot, or, that doom awaits 'the cnap whom Mr- North pronoui)wr> "toot,'?' ■ or' that. Man has cut the-nexus that unites hiiri to the brute? Is the long-dofr.rrril- millennium just preparing/, to begin.?/. Has the. world, become a-wearied of-its long career of sin? Have .the- men abandoned whisky and. the ladies Mrs.. Glyn?- The- bookstores are'excited, and in vain, they try to .guess, as they, wire for huge f>; signments from tho startled Oxford Press, what has happened that the Bibleis the season's-big success? Alas] Tho strange phenomena aren t uue to a sudden /stimiiliiting wave of virtuo passing through—the fact is that- tho tJible's had. a very nice review... "

"A Bible, sir?" .said the bookseller. "A great' rjwi on .'em— reading 'em since Dr. Findlay——.'.. ,- .-. '•"■ "I know, I know," said the customer, "I've'got one: . What's this like? , ' It was ■, a fat volume called "Shakespeare" ' thai, ho picked up. ■: ■ ' - . "A really good work, sir. Discovered by Mr Buddo quite recently. I think I 'can take a little credit myself in connection with it. Mr. Buddo mentioned iiv the Houso some time ago that it .'was absurd to" say-that Shakespeare had no very wide knowledge of human 'nature, and I got out this edition with, as you see, a preface "by air. Buddo. You will take it? -Thank you.' Nothing more? Then let me give you this catalogue of a new. series that were bringing:out." ... . : ■> ■It ■ was the catalogue of a breat Works Series," including Homer, Jiuripides, Horace, Dante, Thomas, a Kempiß Cervantes, Goethe, Milton, and many more. "Read," said.the advertisement, ' "what pur foremost critics 'say. Sir J. G. .Ward: This series can be confidently recommended to mothers. Mr Buddo: Thero is no trace of disrespectful levity. ...in '.Milton. Mr. Fowlds: I cannot better :recommend Horace than by saying that 1 have myself translated' tho Odes for the Mothers' Day League. ' Mr. The 'Imitation' will do nobody any harm. Mr. R. M-'Kenzie: Cervantes.is sometimes quito.amusing."

' "Well; Jawn," said Mr. Dooley, "ye iive an' learrn, as' 'Jim Jeffries' found out An' t' think that all these years I've thought th' politicians w,uz barrel onseritimental rutfeens no more willin t' believe annythin' than annywan. la t' believe thim.".. • ■ . '.'An', ain't they?" .asked, Mr. Hen;"No, Jawh. : These' grreat-hearrted pathrites is as simple as childher, an' so onsuspectin' that' they'll believe things that little Bridget wud turrn up her little nose at." -There's Stallworthy now., Life t' that man, is wan long disap'pointnient, resultin' ■ fr'm his incurable belief that a Ministher is nawchin' but an . overflowin' .reservoir iv fac'. Stallworthy,' Jawn f has- •■ his- doubts about parrts iv-: th' Bible. •■ He sometimes raygarrds. his watch with pained suspicion. In manny rayspicts ho feels oncertain about th' law iv, gravitation. But whin me frind • Joe Ward talks t' him he writes,.it down in orrder tf'have some onadultherated . fac's t' refer to whin he's feelin' low in his mind. He tol , th' House about'it. .Ho wuz goin' t,' vote agin th' bookie, an' he met a Ministher. ''May I,' he says,-'vote agin th' bookie?' he says, ,'f'rth'.bookie is a currse,' he says.' 'Well,'-says th' Ministher, 'th' fac'" is,: old man, if ye vote: agin th' bookie th' Maori'will'be wrecked on th' Tasman Glacier, an' go down with all on board,' ho says, 'but' says ho, 'don't let mo intorfare with yere freedom. But I wud not bo actin' right, if I didn't' add,' he says, 'that th' tomato crop will be a failure onless th' bookie clause is adopted, an' I might say, too, that Kaipara will not in that case be- able i' get th' station verandah painted. But vote freely, old man,' he says. 'I'm glad ye told me,' says Stallworthy, an , he .votes 1" th' bookie, shuddherin th' whilo t , think iv th' narrer escape iv th' Maori an'-th' tomato crop. Iv coorse, poor young Stallworthy ought t' have known betther, but can yo blame him f'r his simple faith? Yo can't. He. might not bo th' mau yo'd chposo t' do yerb j business, but yo cud not help admirin' him f'r not thrustin' himself t' copo onaided with th , problems iv th' day. There's no vile pride about this onspoiled young sporrt.' An' yet ye can't take him in, f'r ho refers annythin' an' ivrythin', t' mo frind Joo Warrd. Ho wanted t! vote agin the bookie on Thursdah, but he did not want to wreck th' Maori; so he met a Ministher, which he usually does, an' th' Ministher told him th , Tuemaii Glacier had been removed, an' that th' guv'mont bacteriologist had converted all th , tomatoes into tuberoses. An' so Stallworthy voted agin tSi* bookie. At th' same time, Jawn, I wud not hack me chanco iv workin' th' three-card trick on th' young feller. Ho is credulous, hut ho has his credulity ondher sthroug control." ', .