THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 687, 11 December 1909, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

* . ~—• - , • A BIRD'S EYE VIEW. ! , (By M.C K.) The Dnncdvn "Star" commences a leading article —'Tarliament has no tun© to spare, but jesterday afternoon wag not wasted," Wo ' share our contemporary'! astonishment. Some ,ovorsight, no doubt. , y The recent messages regarding the numerous \, »ttempts by ,tho Kaiser's brave soldiers to r poison their fellows in largo batches suggest " /that the groat military talent of Germany will * find work to do'in the way of manufacturing t a, .new theory ofjtactics. The German writers have i already discovered everything that can be discovered concerning tho game of war, and , they Jmust .'"bo feeling as bored as Alexander when he 1 reaohed the summit of glory, or a 9 Mr. Laurenson when he finally stood upon tho 1 giddy, pinnaolo of the Government Whipship., In a week or two tho careful student of .von Potzpompen's forthcoming stud} of "Personal Perils" will develop a sixth senee 1 On rising in the morning ho will cock his eye ■ at the' rolled-Tip newspaper, and carefully boil it for an hour. Leaving tho rattlesnako in the'pot, ho will pick out tho "bits and read >, parts that are not pulp. At breakfast. pausing in the act of topping h'j egg, ho will gently toss it oat of the window a3 far as " ' possible, and, whan> tho echoes of the explo non have died away, ho will order something v WTambled. In-his moil ho will find a sample paoket of cocoa, which he will pensively placo ia tho ice-chest, preparatory to dispatching it io 'the nearest depot of explosives. At the Biess dinner he will bo careful to begin,at tho ionrth course, which may be trusted, since *tbody was expected to reach it ; ':lri ■ f act, . sly dear Watson, he will 'find life thoroughly '-" ' interesting: the old tactics will seem tame and : t r (pntnitivo to him. ■/:,", ' -i. .'. i„ ' "■>, t I ''-■■v.;'' 1 ''■'- f "I arhniro th' discenrmont iv mo frind>Joe," b . mid JJj.rDooley. "Th' way that man sep'rates [V >th.' wheat fr'm th' chaff in th' methods iv th' f, ' *Bntish Gttv'inrnt—his skill in knowm'/whai, t' g ifeopy'an.' '"'hat not t' copy is surrtrtruman.",.'--

i v ' "I haven't noticed it," raid Mr Hennessy. "Bead th J parapets, Javm Th' British GuVi ""Biurt lsgorn' t' resign becatiso 'twas bate An' ye might think that me fnnd Joe, who was on ' ' Hi' losin' side v a,good manny times lately, is goin' t* resign. Whin Asquith brings in a Bill .th'irt inll provide more taxes, Joe gives it his I icaiefnl attontion, an' he says, 'What's good >' Wciugh f'r Englan' is good enough f'r me I'm vnol proud,' says he, 'that lam omvillin' t' i Sake a leaf fr'm th' book it th' amachoors it tth' effete < civilisations,' he says. Or Lloyd George proposes something new 1 abhor rash innovations,' says Joe, 'an' I incline t' think | 4 these fellers ar-re gom' a bit fast, but 'twud ibe foolish* not t' recognise th' merits n llr 1 Llo,Td-Geoige.'s proposals,' an' before ys know ; where y'aro yo find that a now law has been \ jpaaied amidst th' enthusiastic snores iv th' ( iLib'rals in -th' lobby. But though he's a. dar- , (in' copyist, there's na.wthin' slavish about Joe, 'I , }xd.' his strong common-sense preserves him fr'm ', Wh' childish petulance iv th' British amachoors ITh' Lorrds heave out th' Guv'mmf s policy, an' \ (docs Apquith take up th' statesmanlike view iv J J « (saying, Tory well, what do j'e want?' Ho 1 lie rushes off f th' King an' chucks '" mp Ins 30b. 'Why?' says th' King, 'why this ?•, vagitation.' Be a man, Herbert,' ho says An' > teqmth makes s somo -thTtunpory excuse about z liein' in Paxliament t' carry out a policy. With ,*i Bus vieJl-known tao', th' King doesn't say anny j ' anore, but he knows that Asqmth is only anf noyed, an' a big fool t' leave a fat job Comp; pare me fnnd Joe 'I'm afraid,' th' Whip 1 says, 'that there's a majoT'ty agin yero policy,' [ taya he. /Well,' says Joe, 'I must keopSmo tem- | per,' says he, 'not t' meation me job,' he say«, L l am'/we'll aisy alther that We'll change our fv <, policy, an' it will then be obvious rthat I've a I fiu major'ty m faMr"iv it',' he, says (ia'm, yo I see-,*, town, ant-''Signified an' grow.u-up '.An* I whin Mr Sidey defeats him twice,"" Joo d is I statesman enough t' conclude that that settles

I , it, ' TPon't ye Tosign?' asks me frind Mdssay \, v Tteeign?' says Joe, lookm' puzzled 'What J for'' he 'days, 'do jo think I'm here £'r fun? £ I know me duty,' ho says, 'an* me duty is not i.-r t' be obstinate, like Asqmth an' th' other petu- r £' lant fellers in ,Englan' If me policy donY p- suit, I'll change it,' 'says he Now, whin a | butcher 'offers ye steak, and ye say, 'No, 1,1 | want chops,' does th' butcher close his shop' I'j ' No, Jawn.~ Be.rgiv.es ye steak. An' ho's right. I It takes a clare-headed man like Joe t' 6eo t £hat< th' butcher'a pnnciple is th' right wan. ' f v "Statesmanship fhe says 'Ho/ he says, 'ho ho,' he saya " \ ' ' "This what does he call-his method?" asked ; Mr. Honnessy. "Thradesnlanship, Jawn " i , - i The Budget is having'its effects, for it is t tabled that the daughter of the Earl of Cro martie is to appear as a dancer at the Palace | v y Theatre. The Dukes, however, are still hold- ■ ing out • - '' It J is-to bo-hoped that'tho Minister for Finance 'has taken note of the instructions given by" the detective to the policeman ivho made the bets with the jbookmaker. ' Tive shillings on the top-weight and five shillings on AdVantage." The top-woight won, and the money on Advantage was returned It is a pity tliat i' Has talent cannot be made use of to assist in financing tho Dreadnought.

t . owe cao ' es distort things Here !'■' Is the Eev. V W. Saunders, a Dunedm dmno, telling us that "the English and Scotch are a n great inarticulate race, slow to speak" This in dissipation of the idea that they are ex- ; cited over the Budgot. So the Duke of Eutc land did not aftor, all say that the Radicals | • were,"a pirate crois of tatterdemalions" As | " ■■ a.matter of fact, his Giace, when they woke t him up 1 to-tell him of the Budget, thought I hard for,a mouth or two, and then wrote to } i the "Eurknd Morning Star and County Ad- ( , vextiser, with which is mcoiporated the Had- \ ' don Hall Weekly Mail and Poultry Dealers' J, Gazette" to say that he was "not quite coni Tinced that'Uie Budgot was as perfect as it f might be." fWor did the "Spectator" say anyp thing about Jack Cade It merely said, ''Davie.vDavio, don't be a bad boy" Mr , Winston Churchill, too, has not been making : all those wild speeches He has been spending f t •'all his time on rose-growing Once, it is truo, he did become articulate, he wrote to tho r village innkeeper saying 'that "greatly as ho respected the Lords', and profoundly anxious as ho was that their privileges should be preserved mlact, he hoped that they nould not reject-tho Budget without consideration of the >few merits that it certainly possessed" As for Mr Lloyd-George-well, it's all wrong : about hini. He certainlj made a speech at : Limehouse, but he was so nervous that ho had to read very slowly from a piece of paper, ' with many pauses This was under the ans pices of the Mothers' Union Gradually, how- * : ever, the Budget is coming to bo discussed : qmto frequently. Compare this sublime calm i with our excited New Zealanders—with tho [ j frantic mob that has been rushing to and \ fro for the past month organising a revolution r in protest against the new taxation proposals . of the Government Yet, if you road tho BnI tish, press you will discover, not merely that [ , our excitement is not roported in England, r but that for oil that appears in the London ■ papers New Zealand does not exist.