THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 3, Issue 658, 8 November 1909, Page 8

THE CHANGING SCENE

, « A-BtRD'S EYE VIEW. 1 • (BfMCK.) i Although the SJP.M.P. (the Society for tho Protoohon. of Members of .Parliament) hns. hitherto 'restricted ,'itsolf • to a -very moderate policy,' its most oxtrerae demands being the provision of fans and the erection of fences "so that hon. members may. go out in • the grounds for-recreation without being mobsted by strangers," it intends to present a fonvard programme at an early date. It will ask' that tho desks in tho Houso shall be altered to as to bo roathly ■ convertible into • beds, in order that members may be spared the trouble of going out and sleeping in the;lobby when Mr. •Ell is speaking. For ■ the hot, weather, it is proposed, thero should bo placed . on each member's dosk a bowl of claret cup in the afternoons, and ices m-the ovenings. The excossrve strain of looking intelligent |ias greatly weakened many Ministerialists, and it is felt thai thoso 'should be permitted' to keep to their beds for at least four days a week, shorthand reporters being supplied to tako notes of their bedside remarks. Stimulants will of course be necessary for those othor members who have to listen to these remarks when read in the Honsei • ■ The programme also . embraces the establishment of tho shift system, the provision . frf'motor-cta- for , members- to ' perform their •'Jonrneys and from the House, and tho principle of a three-hour day. A strong feeling exists that the Prune Minister has ; no exclusive right to tho privilege of police escorts, ! and.it is proposed-thatya strong sqaad "of con-. ; stables'''sHallV accbmpany' 'each ; of . the ' eiphty* : Pliinlcct'nurses wh'o'take the for, tiieir' morning airing in bath-chairs. Bach' member, under the new system, will have a special attendant of his own, whose business it will be to keep intruders away whenever a member takes a walk .-in tho/grounds . of Parliament Honae;. A nurscf-will accompany eaoh attendant,' in order to, render' first,aid if neceissaiy should; tho membeT.decide to think. A string bandwill discourso rag-time mj the lobby while the House is sitting, and when Mr. Poole speaks eight brass bands will be brought m to accompany him'. with'Wagnerian? selections..' These : reforms, it.is felt, will go.far towardi, enabling' 'members to live .through the. session.', Mr. Glover: I say that it should go to Auckland, and ' if we could- only decide upon a suitable site,'the capital. would bo removed from Wellington .to-morrow. (iTomcal hear, hears.) Auckland is one of tie most progressive' antl 'prosporous ' places in ' Nev,- Zealand. It has great potentialities, and,, in time> to come,,.when, perhaps. I. have passed to the grand-and <beautiful;.beyohd— Sir Joseph Ward: iThat can't ,be s6-beautiful as Auckland Parliamentary report. Though it's ■ dottbtlees very difficult to think it's beatific to. reside where tho pacific'muddy Avon . trickles slow;. > ■ / And although' there's;grouna to fear .it asks a strong heroic '.spirit from. tho. man who'll - grin and bear it when the hot nor'-westers '■■■■ hIOVV,. r ■ Yet -not .wholly bad their case .is -who iinfest . these slumbrous .placesr-No, their Bolace, . ain't the races,or .the Agricultural Show; Though'it' 8 dark anddull indeed in. Scotch and ■ ■ shivering Dunedin, where your wretched wolrd is dreed in orrcumstances tnllofwoe, And whero every other ,perspn is Mackenzie or ' Macpherson, and whore strangers la; their, curse on the eternal rain and snow,, And the chilbla,iDed\ population play the pipes ,' Nvithdut; cessation-even i'there coin-'.; • pensation: no, lt'B not tho whisky, no; And although you'll. find them. telling you it's Hades to bo'dwcUing in; tho windy hamlet i Wellington, yet thoughtful people know , That though plunged each day afresh in.hopoloss, horriblo depression when the members are in session and their dnvellings freely ;■ f10w,".. : '■■■-■ v.'' ..-. ■ . Though' tho citizen is worried, and the rents "are simply -hornd—there's i .one thought ■ that'smoothes■ his forehead- when: his • 'hopos- are sinking low; , : • -And it's doubtleßS. slightly dreary in -the placo whore Cook and Peary, very wet and cold and weary, found a lonely Polo or so (And returned' to scold and bicker), whero tho pale j Auroras dicker, and whero train-oil t ' ia the lkjuor , o£ the' loneaomo'.'Eskimo— , Even in ;that- infernal -latitude' matter still for gratitodel one thought 'that brings beatitude and'sets the heart'aglow; Thoush so drab and so-dejected, thoy are calm ; and quite' collected, -yea,, though- utterly* neglected by tho envied P. and 0., Por when, life and pain ire over (m tho words of Mr Glover) they will roll in Heavenly clover: with delighted screams of "OhJ" . * While the Aucklander, disgusted, will be growling, "Well, .I'm busted! Earaons simply • - - can't be trusted! 'It was prettier, dcwn.be- ; -'- low!" ! .V"!"' A lady correspondent of a contemporary has been protestingagainst, the chioninling . of fhshion gossip. ■ &ho urges that women should | ; ;decorate ; their s; mindsa'iid hearts' with' \ noble, sentimiaits 'ratKer' thcin•- overload' .their .'bodies with;liveiy raiment, tuid that the^better'class ; Cof women', 1 should ' contribute articles ■ on. "the I power' of modesty, and-simplicity in ■ womaii'ilood.'v' The-ide'a seems !to'-tie''.that' the ladies | ■ -should so'-change their: ways to to, necessitate the ..transformation of the "Woinan's Gossip" coluinn; into'something like thisj "Mrs. A. gayo - a charming tea -yesterday-/afternoon.; -The lovely! Vdraivingiiopmwas -, decorated .with texts in-the-newest mode. -. , A .very , enjoyable tract competition was held, aiid tho prize' was 'Woii J , by 'Miss r ''B.','-who showed a"; quite, luicanny. skill 'in": guessing . the;' authors.v, -There were: many . beaatiful', hearts : ,-and', - minds present., ~Mrs. A. received in ia state of heavenly, kindness, her , simple heart;set'off .;|iy' a^"brilliant"mind, flittering . witil original Ideas. ; Amongst, : the. most notablo 'hearts.praseiit was that of a dark girl from Auckland, lirhd • had -'a particularly ex-. ■ quisite • example ■ of the, ■ large and tender typo - that is now so pOpul.u'.'" And .so. forth.;! The" , -effecf; oi/'tho' new' idea'lwould.be seMi--in. other, places than, the-woman's, column. Instead of -' thoic'iittlo see, in wiiish ;ladies ! discuss,,.the . hats' and frocks of • their -frieiKls.i-wc/shiiH ' have- little, articles, fnll ] of" i such scraps. of, conversation: as this: ; . ' "What .t'rightful.ndeas that woman, always' *. brinjjsValohg!''■ p.f 'course, ,Bhe;gets"thfim .from-. Tennyson l —so dowdy aiid.ffut-of-date."., ■ ■ "! did try to 'suggest -Browning to her, but,, ; really, hor taste —, ' . : ' And tho lady' reporter, when sho- rings up in advanoo of a big aQair,. will not ask foT . details pf;.the;frocks'of',the house party. ', ;iyilT say: ,'.'Oh,>-Mrs/; 'X:,''please• tell ,me-what• [ you WilVrhaVo/ {10-nish'K' very"- good', | -of"; you! v... .Ycv yes—a' tranquil heait, did , you say ?. j'r'i.u .'.Oh,^thankful—yes'., .ind- [ your'l'daughter^elad—l-'can't hear?,..;. .' Clad in noble . aspirations?- Yes.. . . .". In the s meantime. tho coarse male, knowing that all -is < vanity, and knowing■ that. the X-rays have not. yet been, adapted to vdiscovormg the sort of soul a lady possesses, will go on believing that i. a 'pfctty'rfaEe v ; under a: jretty'hat is' the..nearest 1 thing.--to, Heaven; that, ho,, is likoly to 'sw. "Nobody sooms t' know what Lib'ralism is," said Mr. Honnessy. • ... . - h" "What yo moan, Jaan, is. that, th' Lib'ral f doesn't know ghat's tl' host thing t' say in y order not t'* scare th'. Hmuessys iv this wurr'd. Thoy know "all '' right yrhcit'Lib'ralism is,. , an' ,what'''Ltb'rals l 'is,-'; ;■ Thero".;.was a - whin ; 3 - Lib'ralism was as. plain a thing as vegetarian-; if ism,'but.whin,a vegetarian goes in f'r'a solid o meat diet, ye will naturally expeo', htm t' bo 0 a bit oonfusm' whin-he defines th'- ar-rt lv lmn'-: on carrot steak an' bean rissoles. 'Ycro no vegetarian,? says his foe, '/ ate meat;' lie a says., ' Ho,' says th'- vegetarian, whose namo n is ginVally Lorn'son, ~'Ho. ■ Why, annywan 10 knows that vegetsnamsm consists iv weann' a blue 1 tie/: an' mo tie's blue, ;■ ain't - it?' An' there y*are. Thero must, as Hogan says,' be Is evolution, an' . Lib'ralism has evolved. Lib'ralm ism onco sawl t' ye, 'Hmnessy, • yo can now a spend yere-money fr yereself.V : But evolution 33 has now-developed t'-th' higher stago iv lettm' 5- somenan 'elso; spen' it ,for ye. Lib'ralism'n lo this; 7 ; says- Lorn'son; lab'-ralism's that,- says bbfatomfn -i'-tf.<;ottar" thn£ eaya ms

fnnd Joe. ■ "Damn Lib'ralism an' wbat it is,' 1 says th' . ordinary Lib'ral, 'just give mo a billet,' ho says., As far as I can figure it out, Jawn, th' thruly Lib'ral mail is th' wan that votes fr mo fnnd. Joe. Th' higher grade iv Lib'ral is th' kind that arranges dinners t' th' Primeer, an' orrgamses th' splondid outburst iv .spontaneous enthusiasm whin, timo f'r another rafty. Ye don't need t'hold Lib'ral views t'bo a Lib'ral. Ye. don't need t' rovaro th' memory iv annywan but th' men'that invented th'. policy iv puttin', themselves up t' anction. 'Tis th' simplest thing Hi th' wmrld. Whin a,new proposal is mado th' ould-iashioned Lib'ral -luks up th' principles an' goes bald with th'- effort. iv decidin' whether 'tis for or agin Lib'ralism. Th' new Lib'ral has a aisier time, No coxt books f'r him. Ho just-refers t' me frind Joe. 'Is Joo agin it?' ho says. An' thoy say He is/ 'Well, I oppose this on Lib'ral theery,' says he. 'Hould on,' they say, 'wan minit. We erred. Joo's for it.' Thin I will vote f ? r this gran' Lib'ral principle,'he says. .Lib'ralism, lawn, is just what it happens t' be at th' moment." "But ain't thore anny fixed idea in it at ■ all?" a-sked Mr. Hennessy.'- ■. . ■ r lv coorse thero'is. There's wan oentheral idee in, it, an' ; that's why'l'always leave "me small change at home whin I gc t' have a talk with a Lib'ral." I■ ■ '