"JOSEPH'S COAT."

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 565, 21 July 1909, Page 8

"JOSEPH'S COAT."

' ; ' ' I PATRIOTISM AND FLAGS. • THE TROUBLES OF AN ORATOR. ■ Whon Mr, W. P. Price, second-hand dealer, of Courtenay Place, conceived the idea of delivering a patriotic address on the subjcct of "British Humanity" to suoh of his fellowcitizens as might, in response to his advertisement, assemble in the Druids' Hall, Taranaki Street on a certain evening} • not so very long ago, there flashed upon his mind a great, a magnificent inspiration in connection therewith—an inspiration which promised immediate, instantaneous success for his address. That this inspiration, when put into nctual practice, failed, and failed most crushingly, was not. iiis fault, and in the Magistrate's Court yesterday afternoon, ho explained why.

His idea was to appear before bis audience garbed in a robo of many colours, to wit, a flowing white garment whereon were to/be painted the flags of tho Mother Country 'and her, dependencies—a striking presentment of national prestige, which would inspire in the hearts of_ those beforo him sentiments of the loftiest kind. In furtherance of this idea, he possessed himself of a colour-plate, entitled "National Flags," and with this plate and tho flowing robe sought the establishment of Messrs. R.-. Martin, Ltd., and requested Mr. J. Allen, one of tho firm's signwriters, to. emulazon on the garment tho eleven national flags which were depicted in the two top rows of the coloured plate. Tilo work wiis duly .executed, arid Mr.' Price came along, tried - on. the robe, and took delivery, of it, leaving behind him the. sum.of ill sterling as part payment of the contract price, .£3 .10s. Thus far, so good. , The evening of tho patriotic address came, and'with it,tho audience, the orator, and the robe. Alas! When ho stepped on to the platfom. with his flowing, garment,; ablaze, with gaily coloured, flags, draped proudly from his shoulders, he. was received in chilling silence. Here let. it be . explained that in his advertisement'calling" the meeting, he had specially announced that he would wear'a robo whereon would'be emblazoned the'flags, of Britain arid its dependencies. But when the' eyes of .tho audience fell upon the garment its patriotic sensibilities received a painful shock.- Certainly, the royal ensign of Britain flamed out from his chest—the 'right place—but 'where were .the emblems of Britain's dependencies? : "They " were not there. From the riot of .'colour , there blazed-forth- tho l militant, flag of . Germany, tho' "Stars and Str'ipfs" .of America, the French. Tricolour—a regular'international oonoert, .as it' were. .

Some of tho audience mildly protested against this sacrifice of Britain's oversea Dominions, and drew the - orator's , attention to the fact that his _ garment' was an obvious. and - unpatriotic contradiction to his advertisement." Then .the! position dawned- upon the. wearer, and, -.after some vain speech, he departed in wrath. Subsequently, he refused to pay the balance owing to the .firm of sign-writers, contending that they- had not carried out, their contract in accordanoe with'; his principles. The firm sued him,'and . yesterday, before Dr. W. A. M'Arthur, 5.11., the merits of . his case wero' discussed by counsel—Mr; O'Leary, for the. defendant, and Mr. Nielsen, for the plain-, tiffs. r.-

!: Counsel for the' plaintiffs- cleared his throat "}Vas this your- maiden speech, Mr. Price?" Defendant signified that it was not ' "Will it be your last?" Defendant, with' muoh emphasis, replied: that it would most oertainly .not'bo'h'is last .oration! ' . < Counsel'.then suggested, that it', must. have, been very awkward} for . defendant to get, off his patriotic speech with' such, a'contradictory, garment draped, about-him, but defendant-said; that he braved the situation like a' true. British . hero,an. announcements ,which imme-, diatelv jeopardised the decorum of tho Court. V"Wny : did 'you take deli *;ry of . the robe when - it was not designed according to your , ideas?". ..' ' V • ■ ■ ' i "I didn't know, what the; flags were, and took it f for granted that the sign-writer knew his business. .. .'••

; After some further examination, mostly, in a playful vein, counsel for the plaintiffs sat down, and counsel for the, defendant, having, questioned his client'on'cortain points and addressed the\Court, Dr. M'Arthur proceeded, to • sum up, alluding humorously. to; tho fact that the case was not-altogether without precedent.. - There was- a: oertain party, .yclept. Joseph, who, a long time ago, got.into serious, troublo over wearing a coat of many, Defendant should sot have . taken;-delivery' of the coat if it was not it should have been. Judgment would be' given, for plaintiffs,; for the'balance of ; the amount, due in the contract, £i 10s. -