THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 544, 26 June 1909, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

(B* M.0.K.)

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW.

"No," said tho disagreeable man, "1 do not at all share the general enthusiasm over the idea that cookery ehonld bo made a University subject. Ab you know, I stand for tlhe unconsidered victims of progress. I can imagine that a few pcoplo will bo 'dob'ghted. Tho bachelor whoso Kfo is made miserable by the problem of Soul v. Stomach will rejoioo. Ho will no longer have to weigh tho rival advantages of the girl who is shaky in her aspirates but strong on mince-pies and tho girl who is full of aspirations but empty, of ideas upon the correct way to boil eggs. Tboy will bo united in one girl.. But just consider the case of the oxaminors. Every student will not bo an honomwoman. It will bo alTvory well for tho examiner bo long as he is 'examining tbo work of tho really brilliant student. But what condition will his digestion bo in after he bas dealt with tbo work of the duffers? Then, again, Consider tho case of the man who marries • Master'of Cookery. He looks forward to a Life of Perfect Meals, and be will probably find that tho la!dy specialised at College, and can turn out nothing but trifle., Fancy havr ing to live on perpetual trifiel And you don't suppose that the brilliant Mr. Buddo, who favours compulsory technical education, will fail to move for compulsory training in cookery. And that will be the first stop towards making a close corporation of the profession, and tho provision of penalties against unqualified cooks. Will you conpidor, too, tbo state of a household which contains two or three enthusiastic students? No, on behalf of 'tho certain victims of this misguided movement, I am. bound to enter my protest." , I "Tho financial condition of the country, from tho Government's point of view, was, tho Premier dcolored, good."—From on interview with Sir J. 6. Ward in Sydney. If , life wen what Sir Joseph Assures us that it b, , Ho monetary tightness Would spoil our spirit's lightness, t Wo'd <rmto forget our woes if Onr point of view wero his— , If life were what Sir Joseph Assures us that it is. ' ' If tradesmen avaricious' Would take Sir Josoph's view, > They'd send ub meat and raiment . Without a thought of payment, ' * ,And biils-0 ( thought delicious!— / I ' Would ns'er bo overdue;',. ' If tradesmen avaricious < ' ' Would take Sir Joseph's view ; ■ t » everybody's vision Wero only like Sir Joe's l > .The Publio Debt.would shrink to A trifle, and wo'd drink to < . Our' happiness Elysian, 1 ' '' ' Our skies of Btainless rose; If everybody's vision , Were only like Sir.Joo's. If—happy dream!—if ..Cohen Could change his outlook too; , 1 He'd feel he owed us monoy; .' ' j And. oil'and milk'and honor , , Is what the .land would Sow in;. - ThoroM be no 1.0.TJ. If-happy v dream)—lF Oohen Would take j Sir Joseph's viewi Once there was a Good Old Sort/wbo had Battled hard for the worker, and whose persistence in shouting 'out All Sorte of Things brought "him a Portfolio. But it did not bring him Wisdom.,, Overjoyed at the success, of ,his Ideas.' he said to himself J'"Sir Joseph'vWill'find,that I will not degenerato int™, Silent T«ef>. I wiU give hufiiQood s Value, and push along the Policy that endeared me to him." And he arose and ' shouted out Every Possible Kind and Manner of Thing at the top of his voice. When ho toddled along to the Prime Minister to ask ' whether he Had come up to Sample, he was astonished to find 'that he was regarded as very much' Overproof. "Did you not take me into your Ministry?" ho asked, "because of my Views? Have I, then, changed?" quite right*," was tho reply. "But although I liko your Ideas," I made a" mistako in Stocking you.' Tor you must kave your Principles,on the Doormat when you join my Minatry.',' "But how can I exist apart from my views on All Sorts of Things? It is impossible" said tho Good Old Sort. "On the oontrary," said the Prime Minister. "Bow do you tirink I keep my Billet?" Moral.—The moral of this tale is that you must not maka the mistake of thinking tbat Ministers are chosen for their views, but for their ability to forget thorn. According to Sir Joseph Ward, "a great ideal of the slump that had beon experienced was caused by tno fall in wool values.'' 'It is NOT understood- that Mr. Fowlds, who holds that a fall in wool values is of no account, intends'to resign from the Ministry. Since he'left Now Zealand the Prime .Minister has in the most pointed way lefnsed to repeat bis statement of a few weeks ago that we intend to "sink or 'swim with the Lion Mother." On second thoughts, it is , understood, ho has decided that.it wHI bo much more convenient to float akme. —; / "There's more than'mo wiU hope he can't do't," 'said Mr. Dooley as ho read tho cable message which reported that tho president of the Manchester Chamber of Commerce had deprecated "beating the Imperial drum." " I, don't like \t' think ft\ what wiU happen if th' noise stopped. -, "At firrst 'twas harrd t' got used t' th' noiso. ' I wud wake up in th' night with a starrt."' 'What's tHat?' I says, as I leaned out iv th' window. ' Th' Empire,'s says th' cop Well, Jawn, I wuz out in two minutes with' a gun, f'r th' Empire can always rely on mo. But they wud send mo 'homo, an' Bay nawthin' wuz th' matter with th' Empire - Yo wud think th' Empire's in a bad way, hut 'tis not so. Th' only people in a bad way is th' Imperialists, an* theyVo beon boatin' th' dhrum so long that tKoy think 'tiß th' noise that holds things together. An' so they're bangm' th' 'dhrum without a pause even f'r dhrinks.' It makes me think iv Hogan. He wint t' Lyttelton, wanst on th' Rotomahana, and 'twuz a foggy night Th' moment th' ship starrted th' fog-horrn v starrted, an' it kep' up all night, an' only stopped whin they reached th' wharf. An' t\this day, Hogan won't believe that 'tis ' not th'_ foghorn that dhrives th' ship. But th' engineer knows that th' morro horrn th' . less speed. In th' ould days, Jawn, th' Imporyaliqt nivcr kem ondher th' public oyo ontil he began carrvm' up th' foo. Ho was niver hoard exeep', whin a bud crash donoted that ho had stove in a Frinchman's v helmet. - Can vo' imagine silence sottlin' down ovor th' Empire? I can't, Jawn. I've got so used t' th' dhrum that I can't go to sleep'onless I have hoard th'orchestra. I can't feel norrmal onless I'vo reread that Lord Narthcliffoi or Simon Isoacstcin, or th' other gran' ideelists has declared that th' Empiro is our all in all. "In fac', Hinnissy, th' loud boom iv th' Imperial platichudo has become more than habitchool—it has becomo necessary, hko th' electric thram. ,D'ye want to wurrk a point? Do it with a 'flag. ' Th' Empiro covers a i nvultitudo iv Bins. Me frind Joo Warrd ' loves th' Empiro. ' Th' lino mother,' ho | says, ' th' gran' an' glorious tbraditions iv th' Imperial destiny,' bo eays, ' an' th' greatness iv th' Empire,' ho says, 'an' yo can len' me a million,' says ho. AnJ tho millions is forthcomin'. As Henry Nowbolt says, he says:— Take the dhrum V Englan', bang it Rood an 1 hirrd, Rthrike it when th' cash is rnnnin' low, -Whin there's million loans, t'.'fioat, sthrfko th' high Imperial :■ note, In tho way that Scddon showed as in the days of long ago. ' Whin th' dhrum stops, Jawn, th' Empiro won't stop. But th' loans will." A Christchurgb artist has written to the Tourist Association, "suggesting art compot'tiotls in paintings.as a means of adverfcsjDg the landscape scenery." ,Now that has

attention has .been so luckily directed to !thematter, the Prime Minister should not fail to mako provision, against this source ■of danger whan,ho brings down his Bill for the Prevention of Damijgo to the Country's Reputation. /' Tho painting of the country's like tho painting of the country's outlook, should not be left to private enterprise. : Tbe private painter is apt.to' paint withered trees and rainy landscapes, .to employ quiet colours, and .to underestimate the .height.of. tho waterfalls and the fatnesrf of the animals in the;middle distance. ; Perhaps the best way of dealing with the matter, is iby the issue • of,• regulations, which will, of jcourse, be enforced by inspectors. It-might ;be provided, for example,; that no painter ;should bo permitted, to use more than ono small: tube,of dark or neutral paint per annum; that every landscape must .be cleared of "noxious weeds ana roaded; that i'oJl outcrops."intuit clearly shown, and so on. , But, -whatever is' done; it is quite clear ;that ; the Government cannot permit dit of. the^country to be injured by the canthatwfll :.be r "produced; by: an " art Icbmpetitioii'V.'carried ■, out by. unrestricted 'private?enterprise. '>'■■'■>•• ■■ -.'■ ,'..■ •;'■...■■;