THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 2, Issue 401, 9 January 1909, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE.

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW.

(Br M.C.E.)

. "Ether," said-Mr.' "Wragge to an Auckland interviewer this* week, • "is an ocean of electrons or corpuscles, or, to be more explicit still,. a great, ocean of .electricity, in which everything is plunged." So now you have no excuse whatever for failing to recognise either when you' see' it. You. /will hear' the splash. : -'But why -dp; these'.scientists think it necessary .thus\to elaborate' the obvious?

"I think,/? said Sir JBssph Ward, in speaking of the redistribution of' portfolios, "that tho tnvo tranches 'dealing with law and justice should be under one 'control," ,' • . "Justice?" the clerk will say. "Yon want justice ? ; .Apply, at ! the : next counter. Wo only. dispense law hero." ' "The Kaiser,", says a cable messago, "emerged from his; seclusion and gave his usual Now. Year's reception-in Berlin." We wore wondering how tho year 1909 was set going after all. .' - - . ... ; Itl is. worth -noting, "by the' way," that,-his Majesty, , who, has . hitherto. insisted. that: he has. ruled in; alliance with the. Almighty,' has! decided, tha't he is, able at .last to -assume the : sole .management. 'He instructed: his chap-' lain,.'says'-a cable'"message, to preach; onNew Year's Day from the text, "Ho will speak peace to His people." :,- vyThe'cable .brings of an 'inter-' jiew.i-iri which' Mr. "Johnson's mother supplied' • some- reminiscences of -her son's early years.' As.-a - , boy,- • she said, ho was. a rank; coward. "She -was unable to" be bothered--to' teitje' children's fights, and gave Johnson a licking for being beaten by; another boy.' Then: he developed confidence, - and became "hampion of tho village.,"v... This ,:has 'Aspired;,gome other famous, men to give their owe;-recollections of their! bi'yboc3. ■ ; • ' •-•- ---' ' . Sir Joseph Ward, wlion young, was a raiik to believe. that':two and two- mado -more than three. . His teacher thrashed 'him, for not' admitting that; two-and I ;two' ; made : four.' Then ' the • future Prime Minister developed confidence, and he - has I bwome the' i champion' optimist -of the world; j:V The German Emperor was, as ,a- boy, extremely,: shy,,. and ,prone' to- hide under. the .-bed, .whenever inter.viewer came' near.; the good 'licking was at: last"adminis-tered-to. him, iwith;,the .result: that, he plucked up courage to such;- a degree: that he - is ' themost; voluble : and: outspoken monarch extant.' Jiihi'the Nark, strange as it : may. appear, was once '• afraid to go out at- night. .His; , mfe'coiddinbtibe: bothered with this unprofit-. able reluctance; and, after-seriously assaultLog her husband, packed; him l off. to Wellington: He at-once developed confidence, and is now the .champion-: garrotter of , the Dominion.

, : Whatever difficulty he may have experienced .in . finding; reasons: for the appointment of Messrs. M'Kenzie, Mackenzie, Hogg, and Ngata .to the Ministry, Sir Joseph Ward had; no .difficulty at all in accounting for his selection' of Mr. Buddo. 1 That was a very easy one.. Sir Joseph.made the whole-thing clear in five, lines-f, "> ■

" Mr. Bi(ddo," lie says, is. a practical farmer, of .wide: experience, and I reel sure that hei will "be. able; to ''successfully, administer tho Departmenta.' of Internal -Affairs .and Public Health, to the: advantage of the country."

: Groat- discontent ~is felt .' amongst ' tho members ;<)f ■ because of 'the ' failure: of Sir- Joseph Ward to recognise with equal acumen their"'claims to preterment.Air.' Wilford. is .'at .a' loss to understand how! his well-known'slnU'a.s'a vocalist' failed, to secure; for. him the portfolio __of . Mr. 'Laurenson desires "to" know whether he has ibfien' a vegetaria.n ,for 65 years only to see. .ihe- portfolio: ;of; .man who knows nothing- of-tho-influence of . ■nutirissolesi-. on the..human frame.- Mr. 'Baume is._!amazed; that .his skill as a reciter, ofK.WflUam* Ealing? s, .poems'; should; riotr have_ secured for him. the-obvious- reward, of appointmenVvto - ;the.- portfolio of:. Public Health. . La™ tennis enthusiasts aro asking", why •Mr..;l;isher, .who is a 1 practical expert, wth the ■racquet;-' , shau]d not have beeii :i r6i ; oognis'ed ;;as ■tjhe'imost eligible candidate' for ; tho' yacant : Minfes portfolio. ' From' all. guar-. -''fact;,'' there-'/are. coming 'fierce in-' quiries *why: Sir, : Joseph.'should have confined his -logical 'recognition of • the' St and proper thing to the of Mr. Bnddo. That Mr. Buddo's, appointment', is a' very proper, one is .at the same time generally concededj although;. it .is .felt in" some quarters that a' practical plumber .would -have better filled the part oft Minister for Internal Affairs: In the • meantime, -1. that - t Mr. "Buddo, even fit--his anything,'.'should the' of: a' formal celebration of the wonderful effect farming on the mirid.

: AWay'wHh s books'_and study!; Away with, mid- .... !-'night'oU]' Procures, plough and 'turn you to this tilling of ' the .Boil! V, .• ■ . >; Eefleot on Mr. Buddo: reflect on how he found The royal road to statesmanship by digging; in the ground. .Since statesmanlike" acumen is the' ..fruit : ;of ; learning how • To fatten Shropshire , wethers.. and to guide! a V. steady plough;Why,waste on.bookH>and' thought and things the timeithat should bo spent; '(In raising hogs) in ripening for command in •Parliament. ■ Too longiwe've ■borne 'OTth Ministers who': can't ' .. tell straw from hay,— : 'i Too. long with'Judges'quite unfit to shear one - sheepper:day;•' ■' ' ' • Who wonders at tho*torrifying rate of our do- .. . scent ' . . J ■■■ .When amateurs monopolise-the wotk of Governihent?. .. / ,The Land Department's: office is. congested: with the rush • ' ; -' -V'• Of fathets clamouring loudly for a bit of ' hill ' -. or'.bush • - ' That their sons may get the training that alone . ... ican make them;shino ; 'v. - : : - In the-luorative professions or the Ministerial The CoUeges tire empty, and- tho- schools deserted stand, ■ : : ' " ■ 3?qr the leaders of . the future are • engaged -in vj-~: : tilling land.— .. I; '..V_.. , I see the; rosy dawning of. a future. grand: and; .' .v. great :' .' : ; -'■ .'.' : Wlien the, strong firm hands. of : Buddos drive ; : '. ' : ,'t^e ; splendid plough' of State... . -.7..,

• ; A Christchurch-newspaper, moved by the kindly genius of the .season, has been re:assTirmg':'tho''pebple. .'who; are afraid of 'the' garrotters. - .'.(lt' is'surely rather soon to get into s a-panic," it'-' observes, "just' because there have b&en a few robberies and because a fireman and a fisherman have come to a sudden-end," and we 'are assured; that the Wellington -police- can deal with anything that is 'going;' -"One's 'first impulse on reading'this was to take .a fresh grip of . vthtf nine-pound walking stick. The Chrisichurch paper thinks we ; are all right, but .do .the garrotters? It is 1 no comfort, whfin you are gripped by the; neck 1 at midnight, to reflect that Christchurch and Amsterdam and' Tibet are sure that there is no occasion for alarm/ It is not presence ;of _ mind 'that keeps : the man in Wharigarei ; quite cool: it, is absence of body. . But these are first thoughts. Further reflection: will.'make you wonder what kind of a town Christchurch is, or, what kind of persons Christchurch editors are, when a few robberies and two violent deaths are considered, ; .mere - trifles by Christchurch people.- The _ advice from Christchurch that; : there-: is no .occasion to worry is 'like vthe advice'^'of President Castro • to' the Kaiser that ~h&' does not-'know what a crisis is, or like the assurance of Mr.' Johnson that that'.blow on the nqse that you.received was a mere nothing., . To the bloodstained mind of Christchurch the. Sicilian earthauake is no rjjpra tW. <»■ «Ji«H accident.,

Mr. Johnson would not keep a Chrißtchurch editor, busy .for more than ten 'seconds. There would be : a* whirl, ; and a large' black person would hit the, pavement, • If ; the Christchurch editor "were aii ordinary citizen, and not,, as lie obviously is, a' person who eats raw steak and \ capsizes tramcars whenever .they run into him, his assurances would be pleasant.. But aB. it is,* we must hold fast to the nine-pound walking stick.

The movement to displace language as the vehicle of thoughts and feelings continues to' make good progress. Tennyson and Oartyle. used to sit over the fire Jwffing their pipes in. silence for hours, and Carlyle would end the seance, with the observation that he-, had had "a gran-evening, Alfred." Tj^n o^ 011 Q u * n > * n "The Napoleon of Notting Hill, '. used to conduct a loiig and animated conversation .by, waving his -left leg.- There" are some dancers at Home who can tell a whole,story with .arms and limbs and draperies. Now we learn, from one account of the. recent production of "The Thief" in-this city, that Miss Ola Humphrey .can-do with, a gown as, much as Sir Joseph Ward can do in 95 pages of Hansard. *'Miss Humphrey,V. we; read, /Tias in .thiß act a. trying part to play of patient, restrained emotion* and a handsome cream Chantilly lace scarf, with which she draped her shoulders ■ makes. ! a very useful' and picturesque accessory." The of dress as a means of expression are limitless, even in the case of us. uninteresting objects in whiskers. .When; Sir Joseph , Ward meets Parliament, for - example, and ; wishes to explain ! to the ,40 non-Ministers-in' his party how he f . came to .leave phenv out of-the • Ministry, he might have his trousers creased sideways to'give an 'air ; of vensimUitude to his story that he 'would like" to have v, made: other selections. ..Mr. ;Hogg might pull' his hat hard over his eyes as a sign that he. is determined to deal severely with^strikers.A jlond'check suit would be sufficient to express the. delight' of . Mr.' I'owlds at the drop, in the, price of wool.