THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 294, 5 September 1908, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. - (Br M.C.K.) In a speech during tho week the Premier gave details, of the ideal Arbitration. Act. "They should," so he was reported, "unite to improvo tho present law, and to ensure the maintenance of good feeling between employers and employed. In this effort they ought to forgot that there was such', a thing as party, in existence, and bring all their intelligent to hear upon the task of put ( ting on the Statute Book such a measure as he had indicated." Will it be believed that this excellent measure, so concisely summarised above, is actually opposed in some quarters? / , "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see that there's throuble in th' peaceful temple iv th' Liblabs. ■ Th' ould quistion iv th' jooty iv a Lib'ral is again boin' hotly discussed." "Th' quistion whether he shud be a'leasholder or a freeholder?"-asked Mr. Hennessy. "No, sir. That's-a petty detail. What 'Lib-ralism's torrn in two over is whether a Lib'ral candidate has a right t' go out f'r a walk, without consultin' mo frind Joe Warrd. In th' ould days, 'twuz this way. 'Bill,' Mr. : Seddon wud say, 'Bill, send f'r Smith' ; an' Smith wud sit on th' edge iv a chair farinin' away th 1 perrsperation that gathered on him as he sprinted t' obey. 'Smith,' said th' old man, ' ar-re yere views thurly. Lib'ral?' 'They ar-re,' says Smith; 'I'm in favour iv State coal an' th' leasehold an'—.' ,'Get rid iv those idees,' says th' old man. ' Ar-re ye prepared t' vote right?' 'l am,'says Smith. 'Thin,' says th' boss, '- stand,-' he says, 'an I'll tell ye what t' think later on.' ' An' Smith stud, an' th' Lib'rals all votes solid f'r. Smith, an' th' cheesemonger that wuz hopin' t' get th' nomination.an' expound his,plan t' save th' countbry relapses 't' th'' homely level iv cheese wance more without a murmur. . But 'tis changed, an' th' ould fidelity is tottherin'.' Men-are actually comin' out without askin" me frind Joe's permission. Wan iv these blasphemous backsliders is out f'r Wellington East, an' th' Gov-mint candidate is seein' blue flames about it. , "Tis not,' he says, ' that- this man's views is bad, but what,' he says, 'is views to' th' thrue Liblab?' says he. j"Tis not that he wants, t' beat me,' he says, 'or that he' queers me pitch,' he says, 'which I hired fr'm . th' | Gov'mint, an' to which I hoi' th' title,' says he. 'But he-.-has flouted'th' Primeer, an' he has th' impiety t' come'out without bein'. asked. More thin that,' he says, 'I have private information that he made up his ■ own opinions. What is at stake? Will this elect'rate slap".th'Primeer.in th'face? Will ' it be led away be insidious suggestions that ' th' objec' iv an election is t' give th' people a chanst t'. pick their fancy ? Has Lib'ralism come t' this," that an.eliction is t' be considered arinythin' but what it is, and what is it,' he, says, 'but a.meaiis iv givin' -Joe an illuminated' addbress in th' shape iv a tamo M.P.? I v call on ye t' take, a stan,' he cries, 'or th' nex! v .thing we'll be hearin' trill be a Lib'ral wh'isperin' t' th' coal-cellar what he. thruly thinks.'' - Ye see, Jawn, it means that th' Higher Criticism has sthruck Liblabism. Th'-.. flag 'iv revolt is up, an'- - th' corrupt idea,(is .spreadin' through A th'.i faithful tliat there r shiid be some liberty in * a Liberal.- How -'twill end I dinnaw."

A recent advertisement' contained the following observation'' We state, and' can confidently await events to prove, our contention, that prohibition is the thin end of the wedge that will certainly reduce tho standard of living from what it is at tho present time." This is a point that gains by metrical translation into the vernacular. Feller wuckers, wot's the reason fer the present hawful crisis ? . Wot explains the rise in prices? Wot 'as made the houtlook drear? : All this talk o' pain an' sufFerin' at the 'ands o' • 'ated Mammon Is'the simplest kind o' gammon: . 'Avo yer ever thought o' beer? .W'ile yer passin' resolutions, an' perpetually scrappin', , There's a movement slowly sappin' Yer position night and day. Bise, ye wuckers, face the chances of a 'orrifyin' future! ' 'Ow, I* arsk yer, will.it suit yer Wen the beer is fled away? Wot if Sim.'corrup' an' soulless, drops 'is policy so vicious, ' An' obedient to our wishes, Gives us anything we choose; .Wot if Labour runs the country we'n it grows , a little stronger--Wot will boot it, if 'no longer 1 There is any sign'o''booze?

"The Melbourne press," said The Dominion the other day, "has always one terrible weapon of retaliation: it can print' the speeches of members truly verbatim." It is a weapon that is possessed also by the New Zealand press, and it may become necessary to use it some day. We shall then find the member for Cow Flat thus reported in the debate on the Suppression of Newspapers Bill: "Sir, the honourable member' who 'as sat down stated the point in a way—ho put tho position of this Assembly in a very good way, which I agree with what he says, and it is a scandal, Sir—it is shameful what tho press, and moro than shameful, for it is long since I ever 'eard worse. And I will hadd, as a' old journalist ineself, and qno who 'ad a pride in the traditions that—in them traditions, as we hall know, Sir, are sadly neglected, and will be unless the 'Ouse is not vilified by young, ignorant writers—l say young, ignorant writers. Not only that, but moreover, and who, Sir, I repeat, '00, Sir, will henter public life to do the 'igh duties that—these 'igh, noble duties —I mean these noble duties of tho 'Ouse. 'Oo? I ask again. Why,. Sir, no man would, when the press misreports and abuses the members who aro doin' them •'igh duties, as I said before, which—in short, who discharge a 'igh duty. I support tho Bill."

" It is most interesting," I read in a lady niter's note, "to watch politicians at play, ,heir weighty brows unbent, their stern lips dl curving smiles, their talk gay badinage astcad of dreary disquisitions on sinking lends or compulsory military training. It lakes a clever man to talk amusing nonjense, and, after an " At Home " like yesterday's, one has a higher opinion of legislators than before." It is a little difficult to reconcile oneself to this sudden pic'ture of the member for Cow. Flat as an Antipodean Napoleon. One remembers chiefly his dropped aitches, his onslaughts on syntax, his not quite fairy-like retorts to the member for Burnt Scrub. But an " At Homo " may do wonders. What the free and independent voter has a right to complain of is tho action of the' member for Lone Dog Gully in bursting jnto roparteo and epigram

at an "At Homo," gratis, when he spends the time he is paid for in dull remarks about railways and drains and other heavy substances.' The public has quietly endured the massive intellectuality of the members during debates. But it is hardly honest for, say, the member for Gernldino or Wairarapa to give the poor public tho dregs and save himself up for "At Homes," where his conversation is like a, string of brilliants from an Oscar Wilde play. Water, a mere drug in the Invercargill market, is quite, another thing in another equally celebrated place; So what is ordinary Parliamentese may at an "At Home" be a refined delight. But this is not what is meant'by the "amusing nonsense" reforred to. Everybody has wondered- how members could be so wearisome in tho Houso, and the paragraph quoted confirms tho suspicion that the M.P. could not possibly be as dull'as he looked. But theso gay dogs have been defrauding tho public in reserving-their coruscations for'private functions And as soon as the public grows accustomed to the association of "gay badinage" with Cow Flat, it will put in a. claim for its rights.