VIEWS OF THE VISITED.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 242, 6 July 1908, Page 5

VIEWS OF THE VISITED.

In these days of correct guides to everything, and rules of. conduct applicable to every and any station in life, there still seems room for a miniaturo guide-book, "How to .Visit an Invalid" (says tho "Queen"). For most of ius at somo time or other are bound to be ill, and to suffer visitors gladly, or at least patiently, or, on the other hand, to bo ourselves tho visitor, so a-few words from -one who belongs to that dreary army of chronic - invalids may not be ' amiss. "Chronic invalid !" Arc there any two words that so compress into .themselves the essence of a - lifetime \of dreariness varied by pain, an illness that has. lost its novelty for all, a stranding from tho active tide of life, to which all but tho invalid have become quite reconciled, a life that has no outlook or hope of activity ? The limitations of her existence are always pressing on the invalid, especially if previously sho belonged to the army of workers.So first word of ivisdom to visitors: never take for granted that the patient is "So used to it now, dear, that I expect you don't mind the life-at all." Oh! the murderous thoughts that rise at such well-meant remarks. Again, it is.very trying to,bo told, "Really, though, you look so ' well, no one would ever think you were ill A at all." A stupid little thought keeps tormenting the brain of the hearer, "Do they,all think me a fraud?" It must bo remembered -human weakness is very great, 'arid one does not like to be deprived of ■ the privilege of at least looking interesting. The visitor is tactless, to put it mildly, who, when being toM the features of her friend's ilhies"s,' : iuiuiediately relates a counter tale of some other distant being whose sufferings utterly .eclipse those of the present patient; "What's Hecuba to her, or she to Hecuba?" Poor thing, her; woes are her own special possession,, and it is cruel to make her lose all pride in them. ' .Members of a family circle often show weird ideas of entertaining'tho imprisoned one'. ■ Reports are brought to her' room offamily jars, domestic difficulties of all kinds, from "cook's rank extravagance over butter'' and anticipated trouble with the parlourmaid to "Archie's growing more careless every day, and: really dear Charlie iB causing great anxiety. Your father looks so worried afid troubled, and Mota and Annie are so snappy to the boys at dinner. You are not downstairs;' dear, but safely out of it,-'so it can't worry you to know." But, oh! it does;-and another grey cloud comes over the already dreary outlook on life.- Homo seems to "be a place of bickering and petty troubles, and there seems no object in trying to get woll. Now, the ideal visitor is bright, but not unfeeling, cheerful but not flippant, sympathetic, and still hopeful. She comes prettily dressed, and seldom empty-handed—no small attraction for the visited, for no one knows but they who liavo experienced the dreariness of a bedridden life how keenly welcomed is anything absolutely unexpected. A few flowers, a. new paper, tho'loan of a book, somo 'home-made dainty, all seem, doubly' delightful because unlooked for. Then the ideal does not fidget; she does not. bump "'against the bed; she sits facing the invalid, so causing no strain of. oyes or position. She does not leave tho burden of conversation to the patient; she has something to say, and says it brightly and interestingly. Sho can gratify tho poor derelict with gracious little speeches, say ho<v her old friends'miss her, how-glad everyone is of news of her; tells her who of the

"old set" have been inquiring, and if a little bit. of flattery perhaps creeps in, such as "I don't know how you keep so patient and cheerful, and 100k 1 so dainty always," will not the flattery be. forgiven her- when balanced against the warm glow of pleasure that fills the heart of the- "chronic invalid"?