THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 223, 13 June 1908, Page 6

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S-EYE VIEW. ' [By A CiSTTAIi Cheonicleb.] ) The "Temuka Leader?' discusses the Tua- ',-■ peka election:— Now what does this mean? It simply con- , • firms what we. have said all along. These 716 votes were given to Dr.'Chaaplo, the unbranded Government; supporter. The vast majority of the local Liberals'voted for the local man, Mr. Horn. '. . and that' being so, where did Dr.'Chapkle's votes come from? " '■< This is -clever, but still we feel that the "Leader" has not yet explained the position of Dr. Chakpell. HOUSEHOLD HINTS: HOW TO AVOID -. . SUFFOCATION. .' : A narrow, escape by death from suffocation ras experienced in Japan last month by Mr. i who wa3, in business in Greytown and also Masterton for many years.—"Wairarapa Age." . t ' IJ; was a dramatic" scene. "Is there no other way of escape?" he cried. "Then," he said, folding his arms, "better death than suffocation." ■. j "Racing in a £500 match on the Brooklands track a 90-h.p. Fiat car, driven by Signor Nazzaro, covered 26j miles at the . rate of 94J miles an hour. During a run of 2J miles, the car attained'a speed of 120" miles an hour." This cable message a contemporary headed "Immense ■ Speed Attained." The value •of the . car, it is understood, is incalculable, being no less than £1005 3s. 6d. Writing to " a member of the staff of The Dominion", Mr. 6. S. Monro, manager " ■ of the late New Zealand i Exhibition, says of the' Francorßritish ..Exposition:—" What amazes me is the tranquil manner in which • : these postponements are accepted by the public, involving as they do enormous loss of revenue. Had such a condition-of things obtained in . connection with the recent New Zealand International Exhibition, there would have been good grounds for complaint against the management."—Newsitem. He is lonely in the alien English air; • ■ , Its mediaeval calmness makes him stare, , And he; yearns ir. London town For the days of old renown,' . . ! ■ When he hewed his way to Warner's in the . Square. ■ . i i " ■" " How the' fur, Flying: freely, marked his conflict with the Mayor, ' .With amazement ho is stricken stiff and stark, : As he watches Shepherd's Bush from dawn to ; dark, .\ - ■ ■ Where exhibits fill the "space" "■% i At the slow, deliberate pace •'&*, ; ■Of Noah when he determined to embark :# r ;In the Ark. *;■. , And he sees again in fancy Hagley Park. ' Flabbergasted, with a. pain-contracted brow, '.' This waste of splendid matter for a row , . Sets him. sighing for the Avon, ' ..'... And the war whose memory's graven ' < ) On the heart of Christchurch, smarting. even ' ■ now. . ' r : . ( ■ , .-■» You'll allow . That they ought to let The Master "show ] them.how.' - ' . ./. , Aghast: at' the placidity sublime . .;' ] Of a dull decadent nation past its prime, , He calls on . sleepy Loudon . ; To' observo how much is undone,' And ho only gets the answer, "What's yer gime?" . • . i ... Oh!, The time I When he kicked them like the mule of paiito- ] mime Vi , , , ' . . , ]

\Vhen Sg'anarelle, the faggot-maker who played doctor, had his, diagnosis questioned on the ground that it involved some unheardof heresies concerning the situation of the organs in the body, he replied very shrewdly that "we doctors have changed all that." So we in New Zealand'long ago "changed all that." in respect of 'natural laws and such-like encumbrances, ■ and \it is not, for me' to, begin preaching up the old regime, Still one may. at times look back with longing upon the way . they did things in "the olden time. : The newly-published biography of John Delane, the great " Times editor, tells how he kept : himself. acquainted with public opinion:— • . "His horse was brought to his chambers in Serjeants'--Inn inthe afternoon, and he would ride it slowly down to Westminster, and tliero spend some time in the House, of Commons or House of lords, r learning the political situation of the day, then ride on quietly _t0..; Lady Palraerston's. or Baroness Rothschild's, ana catch the tone of social gossip, then come buck to the Athenaeum or the Reform Club, and learn the drift of'opinion there: Beside this ho had his hand on tho public pulsa, through the correspondence which reached the papers; and the whole became formed into a clear image in his mind." .1 • !.

The public pulse no longer beats, in 1 the palon and the. club. It beats in Mercer . Street on Saturday nights, it drops aitches at the' Queen's Statue at midday, it'roars at Miramar every week end, and now and then it beats at Trentham. Sir Joseph Ward finds it a much more difficult business to discover the public pulse than did Delano. No horse for him, and a, dawdle through drawing-rooms and clubs. A motor-car is a necessity, if ho is to feel the fevered pulse of Cheviot, and count the heart-beats in the palpitating bosom of Karangahake, read aright the inarticulate aspirations of Gisborne, and secure a record of the desires of Eltham. What though-they beat the same time? What though the wind of public opinion whispers always of roads and bridges? The ' question is: . Where does the pulse beat hardest? Sir Joseph, delivering ]iis 847 th speech, must soraotimes sigh for the more restful days of Delane, and wish that the public, pulse would beat in a less' widespread fashion. On this point, at least,'Jie must admit that, in "changing all that," we have not done v well. ' ,

" This is the queerest Cabinet I ever saw," said Alice. "They are just funny men saying silly 'tilings." "Hush," said the White Rabbit in a shocked voice. "That is the Primo Minister and his colleagues." "Why do they call him a Prime Minister?" asked Alice. "I don't care a button — : —". But she remembered that that was slang, and stopped. / "That's exactly why," said the Mad Hatter. " Mutton. You'vo heard of Canterhaven't you, little girl? Then you must have heard of Prime Canterbury. Well, there you get Prime Minister." " How absurd!" said Alice; but just then the Prime Minister got out of the motorcar and raised his hat several times. "He is very polite," Alice whispered, but the Mad Hatter said : "He thinks you are a deputation." JTho Prime Minister began speaking very rapidly, beginning: "Now, one word in reply to Tub Dominion." "He has said several words," said Alice. "That is only a figure of speech," said the Mad Hatter, wringing his hands. "He always will mix up a figure of speech with a speech of figures. But they are beautiful figures. He gave me this.one to carry about for him." ' . "Why,", said Alice, " he , just said that; two'and two is five. I am fltritc certain"^—"■

"So it is," interrupted the, Mad Hatter, hurriedly. "Two and two is four, and carry one, makes five. That is the one I carry." But Alice was so indignant at being interrupted that she had walked away, and slio suddenly discovered tliiit; one of the Cabinet was standing on his head: "He always walks like that," said the Dormouse, which was,sitting in a front seat applauding. " Always, oxcepting when he walks horizontally. Ho .is proving that a 1 strike is a strike when it isn't." "But he couldn't walk horizontally," said Alice; "The law of . gravity would stop him."'. ' ; •: — "That's tho best of-it," said the Dormouse. ; "He, can .upset, everyone's gravity, and'what he said about the strike is nothing to what ho'can do if hpl.'tries. Did you ever hear him speaking "on .the, question 'When is an.Act?'" . And'he fell asleep again, and, looking more closely at him, Alico saw that lie.wasn't a,. Dormouse, but a Native Minister... -' ;' ,"He is sleeping for the good of his country," explained the . March, Haro, who was taking notes of the speech of the Minister who was standing on his head." "You've heard of men dying for their country,'" he went on, as /Alice looked puzzled. . " Well, you can do just as much when you-are asleop as when you are dead,-and it'comes easier, and is far healthier." .. , One member of the Cabinet was delivering lectures i on nailing flags to masts, and ■ another.was rushing away shouting, "They are' on strike again." "Whore is the Prime Minister?" asked Alico,. ■,; ;• "" , ' ■ " Nowhere," said'theVMad Hatter. " But. he must be • somewhere," Alice insisted. "He is always somewhere else," said a Secretary.'" " Just' at present he is there," and he waved his.arm in a circle. "He has solved the -secret of perpetual motion." - "Nobody'can do that," said l Alice. "It is against the laws of Nature." "But thoy were repealed," said the Secretary. "You might think that the more you are, in debt, the less well off you are. Well, that old' law -has been repealed too, and the more you owe-the more you. have. But there's a; Cabinet meeting to come off now, and I must go." " And Alice went too.- •