AN ANCIENT JOKE.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 178, 23 April 1908, Page 8

AN ANCIENT JOKE.

THE VIRTUES OF A PACK OF CARDS. Tho following quaint story is a transcription from a manuscript yellow with ago, which been in tho possession of an old j Wellington resident for tho past sixty years, | and is judged to bo a good deal older than that. A PERPETUAL ALMANACK. Being a droll and humorous account of an > odd aflairthat happened to a private of tho 60fch Regiment of Foot. 1 Tho sergeant commanded his party to. • church, and when the parson had ended his 1 prayer he took his text, and all who had Bibles looked for tho text but this soldier. , Ho, had neither Bible, Prayer-Book, nor almanack, but ho put his hand in his pocket and took out a pack of cards, and spread • them before him. .Whilo tho parson was preaching ho kept looking at one and then the other. The sergeant spied liini, and said: " Richard, put up your cards, this is no place for them. ' "Never mind that," was tho answer,' "you kavo no business with me hero." The parson having ended his sermon, and all being over, • tho soldiers -'repaired to tho churchyard, the commanding oiiicer gave tho word to fall in, which douo, the sergeant came and took tho man prisoner. "You ■ have • played cards in church," said ho. ' No," said the man, " I have not, for I only looked at tho pack." ' "No matter," returned tho sergeant, "you are my.prisoner." ( Tyhero must wo go?" asked tho man. lou must go before tho Mayor," returned tho sergeant. When they came to tho Mayor's ho was a dinner, which when , ended lie cam-o down an said, " Well,' Sergeant, what do you v/an with mo?" "I've brought a soldier befor lour Honour for playing cards in church. 1 " Well, soldier, what have you got to sa for yourself?," "Much, sir, I hope." "Wei but if you have not. you must b punished." !' Sir," said tho soldier, " I hav been fivo weeks on tlio march, and.have bu little to subsist upon, without' Bible, Prayer book, or almanack or anything but a pad of cards. I hope to satisfy Your Honour o tho purity of my intentions." He then tco! out. the cards and' spread them before tin ■Mayor, and began with the ace. " When ! seo the ace," said ho, " it puts me in min< .thereis one God only; tho deuce puts mo'ii mind of tho Father and Son ; when I seo tin tray.it puts me in mind of the Father, Son 'and Holy Ghost; the four reminds me of th< four evangelists, Matthew, Mark, Luke, aai< John'; when I see the. fivo it puts me in mine of the five .virgins that trimmed thoir lamps (there wer6 ten, but fivo wore foolish • anc were shut .out); when I .see. the six it- puts me in mind that in six days tho Lord made .tho heavens and the earth;,when I see the seven it reminds: mo that on the seventh daj God rested from, all tho work of creation: when I , see the eight it puts me in mind oi ■the eight righteous persons/who were, saved .when God drowned tho world;. whon I sec tho nine it reminds me of the nino lepers who were cleansed by our Saviour (there were ten, but only one returned to give God thanks); when I see the ten it puts mo in mind of the Ten Commandments that God gave Moses on Mount Sinai." Ho'took the knave and put it to one.side, and resumed: "When,l see the queen it puts me in mind of the Queen of Sheba, who camo from the farthermost part of the world to'hear the wisdom,of Solomon, for sho was as wiso a .woman as he was a man. ."When I see the king, it reminds me of. tho great Kiiig of Heaven and' Earth, which is God Almighty, and likewise His Majesty King Georgo. " Well,"''said- tho magistrate, "you have given, a good description of all t'lio. cards but one." " Which is tliat ? " said tho maii. Tho knave," said the Mayor. " I can give a description of . that," said tho soldier, " if you. won't. be angry." " No," said the Mayor,"if you will.not take me for one." " Well," said the soldier, " the greatest I know" is the man who brought me here. I do not know that he is a knave,.but I do know, that he is a great fcol. When 'I cotint how maiiy; spots there are on the cards I find 365, so many days ill the year; when I count ihoiv many cards in tho pack I find fifty-two, so many wosks in tho year [ when I count how.many tricks I\find thirteen, so many lunar months. So you see, sir, tho paclc of cards is. both; Bible, Prayer-hook, and almaaack to me." . . The Mayor was so pleased with the man's sagacity that ho made him a present, and told him to bo off'about his business.