THE CHANGING SCENE.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 86, 4 January 1908, Page 5

THE CHANGING SCENE.

♦ f 1 u - A BIRD'S EYE VIEW, ,'(Bt A Cbbonicieb) * , ; 'A' voable ■ message • ■ reports. . that .■ men* ■;« y jers of an \Eaton Hall house- parts " jurglod Cholmondoly Castlo for fun. ■ Private iadviccs -..report . that .EnglishiJ Society gfinernlly is taking up with pest* • jho pursuits of tl)o lower The t 1 following is taken from tho "Lady.'s Letter";...'; n f'Gilt-Edged Giddiness',': '."My ||doar.. Clyr >.•)>* toronQstra, —In thesa dull. ■ days vino's v.PWIwJ ?rows woary, and I: really cannot sparkle foiv.r-. g you, but such nows as 1 have 1., (pvo yPßfej!: Lady Charlotte's Chinese party, wiS'B-buges;-; snctcas. It was certainly a - littlej annoying to' find that ■ tlio Celestials. did. a 4 ontcr into the joke, and they , woro (positively offensivo whon jLord:.Hollowtop- smashed-Ilia 87th- window and knocked out. tho .banker. The swarm of Chinese who .camo yelling .out of their hovels -iyas .positively immense.;; The only:'flaw in oar do,\not count , tlio. stones thai; woro |Jirowu at jus by. -.tho , aliens, ns they nwore, part of / tho, i;anic—was •; the coarse and vulgar police- ~ j man. Actuallyj ho, threatened to] arrest u5.,.v;,1 Tlia Archbishop l of Canterbury, has'organised • a #•- delicious l|tt)o tworii]) school, apd bridge,;, ■ my dear, is positivoly beoomo aronaic.. ■ The Dn]>o'!of: Fatslnro, won, the- boobjr pnzprr-a :,! quart of porter,- v .which lio .- draulf . JU > the v strotit. L»dy Charlotte.hns opepcfl a.school. of > dialect, 1 and-:wa' aro all; dreadfully pror..; v fioient now. ! f.'Swellup mo, Lie,|,', as ~Lord - Hollpwtop said 'to me tho othor day, "there's , nothin' like a |sood old rar With a;copper;,ter,. : ,j mikp- >-and. hi? ( oijglit , becatipo when-jbe .was coming .out of tfee...,:. jeweller's window at.3 a.m. ho incapacitated three . policome(i by a scientific use of his ; jemjpy- ■ Visoount■ SmallskuU lias .cards out ,; ~ for a:-pocket picking, to bs. ;-! lowed-.by 'sav.r an'. 'arf-an'-'arf.'\. Did-, you. - ; hoar thl»t a fearful jjwn, charged at Bow Strpot with .beating' his wife ,to a . jolly, . pleaded jjhat .:it was in fun, and gave, his - , name as- Ijord^liollowtop?.. He did, indeed, and tho magistrate acquitted linn . without., J enquiry. : Ho might havo,knoiAH.it, lio said, j —Yours dreadfully ~ awfully completely/ J Botty." ' I . Cominoreial local tradesman.,..-i advertises. as follows; —"Wanted Knoivn— Men, our Trousers near like wire " ' I v Some peoplo may liavo been pu?zle<l • to j pn'lorstand ■ whv,. aocordmg to n c#Wp. wos 7 ,. i.sago jn one of tho,local papers, "tho Amen- j i can-, yachting' newspaper" which presented the,-, trophy for the Melbourne • to Lfiuiiceston yaoht race should be cajled ,"Rubbcr. , , rl At first sight it might appear to have been, a misprint for "Rudder," but tho bettcr-in- . formed people know that the name is takein from the new collapsible yacht: which): Sir-A Tliomao Lipton has invented with the idea of "~i using it as an overcoat m wet weather or as j ; a bicycle tyro on fine days. ' • "Trumper back to form" was a heading ip > Tee Dominion on- Now Year's Day. It ■ was. •, tho ono thing wanting to complete tho pub- j lie's bliss. -. . ' ' Tho holidays arrived, and yet. ; . , , , ■ ■ Tho public didn't:ccaso to fret, - i .v Our • browp wore bent, our .tooth wero set, j : Our flag of hope was struck * -■ In gloomy crowds: the public prowled ! And everybody darkly scowled; ■ , a 1 ; "What bopta' good tmios?'-tho peoplo growlM ■ t "When Victor makes a dnck?" ; We glared at him.who'd try to joke;. • Wo reoled boneath tho dolorous stroke; .j The Christmas pudding made us chokai .» J v. - Wo -Bcarce repressed our Bobs. ■ , i, ;j No' charm was loft m Miriiinar; -, .i Funereal seemed tho Seatoun carj / . . .i For Buinonr whispered from afar • . Of Trumpcr's row of blobs. That trado was booming everywhere, - That cash woe,flush,,tho prospect fair, We heard with ap.abstracted air: ■ IVe roamed with ininds distraughtJ - » .. For while the- Sun relentless shone, ; J And Bart|i remorselessly rolled on, ] The horrifying-deed was done—. . j.: -.cj He'd notched another nought. But glad and gay upon the first, • ' The dazzling news upon us burst, . ' J And, as the clouds of caro dispersed, _ - . We rushed to quench each other's thirst With timbrel, harp and shawm Men celebrated: New Year's Day. ■ With many a jocund roundelay. . And to the bars they made their way ■ And fiife,became a long "Hurray," For Vic was , back to form. "Wol|, Jajvn," said Mr. Doolcy, "l set that tli' La\ionr Confrinoo has wanco piorq come t' th' rjsouo iv a pgp'lace that tli'..;, Priss- has that th' LegjslochiiW. ' has hethrayed an' tliiit th'' Churrch has. ■ give up as a bad lot fr'm which'nawthin' . ; can be oxpected oxfcipt rare an' rayluctint thruppences." , . - "W|iat,liavo tliey been doin' pottP" aske4 Mr. Homiessy. ■' j "Thoy'v.e bean abolishin' povorrtyi Jnwnr-1 With a silf-sacrifico that ye niver see in th': / bloated cap'tiilist, who, as ye know,'wurrks .: harrd an' often an' niver climbs a barTt 1, moan iv th' sorrcr iv his lot —with this silfr sacrifice th 1 labour'lpyder devotes his wliola" ': (ip)c t' pxplaipin'..how- 'tis that his earrnin.'s; : is low. V.'hi|o th' rist iv us is selfishly toih'n'; ■ ; away, ho fills in his wakin' hwrs' be 'assortinV;." : - his right t' wurrk.' An' 'tis bo asserthi' tli' right t' wurrk that th' cop'fripco has abol-: / ished iwvorrty. 'Why,' says th'; djligato -■ that moved th' res'lution that made capital thrcmble in its boots, 'why shud anuy of us npt'hayo,th' right t' wurrk,' says ho. 'Wo ' ( jo not forrce our wurrk on th' cap'talist,' he , soys, 'f'r ho cap pay wages f'r co wurrk. I 'l'is a Bhamo,': says he, 'that there sliud be J, swarrnis iv inip W!o,' soys h®, 'whip there's millions iv briclw which cud bo carried fr'm ono side of th' sthrato t' th' other,' says he, 'an' baqk agin,' ho says. 'T' think, 1 says , ; lie, 'that a man shud not be given wurrk' i onless there is wurrk t' give him,' he savs. , An' th' inn/ fr'm th'. soap-bqx in Jlorcor | Sthrate demolishes th' statistics iv th' eco-J nouiist. 'Too long,' he savs, 'have wo been j put off with th' thrickery iv sayin' ,thst only wan man is wanted whin < only wan iDan'r, wurrk is offorin',' gays ho.-; j 'Wo don't disputo th' arithmotio, an' we i don't know, an' don't caro if wo did know, j ap' don't want t' know, an' don't intend t' care, whether 'tis a fuc' that two an' two is j four,' ho says. 'If two an' two is four,' says ';] ho, 'ye must althcr it, and give wurrk t' \ iverywan,' says he. 'If there's wurrk f'r j oidy wan man,' ho says, 'yo must hiro siven mint' do it,' says he, 'at full pay,' he says, 'j An' 'twas raysolved that irerywan must paid ton shillings a day, an' that th' baker. 1 must hire t-winty min at that rato, ian' V ; chnrrgo wan penny f'r a ton iv bread. : Wliero is th' ba-aker t' got th' money? do!' you ask, Jawn. That is th' ba-aker'o 5 throublo. Wud yo liavo a ba-akor's palthry : incapacity t' mako a riviiaie iv sixpence ' meet an oxpondituro iv twinty notes stan' in 1 th 'way iv th' right t' wurrk. How can yo abolish povorrty if yo tako heed iv ba-akersP : Think iv th' number iv min that wud be employed if th' railways was run be ban', th* ;

thrainn bein' dhrawn be teams iv wan thou- ■; Ban' rain ivory hundred yarrds." . . "Th' freight wud go up," said Mr. Hencessy. ; . ■ ■ "It wud not, f'r tji' Con'frinco raysolved that it shud go down. Isee ; th' day, Jawn, whin this happy counthry will 'be fiill iv wurrkin min, an', no oneniployed except thiin : in th' cimitheries an' th'r morrgue." "What wiil they -be dbin'?" asked .Mr. r Hennessy. '' "They'll be wurrbin' -harrd pullin' mussels oft th' rocks f'r breakfist." .- : A local paper recorded one day this week that the City ; Council offices are being replastered, "advantage being taken of the i present absence" of the staffs- Much can be < : done by carefully utilising absent presences, ; j if all those who are absent are requested to 1 j, stand up, but' this seems hardly feasible in [■■the present case. !• 1 j,,Y ========== ■ . ;'i