THE CHANGING SCENE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 80, 28 December 1907, Page 5

THE CHANGING SCENE

A BIRD'S EYE VIEW. ] (By a Casual CnnotucLEn.) Christmas seems to have given inspiration to our evening contemporary, for in its edi»' torial on Christmas Evo it broko into song. Swinging along in the metre that Longfellow- used so divinely, and gathering strength as'it travelled,-with hero an occasional stumble; at last, in the twenty-eighth lino, it soared into music as follows; And, ere wo launch forth apain on the sea of - Time's "triumphs -and" trials, gladly we anchor our lmrks for awhile to the, calm Christmas shore.., Now sundered friends reunite 'in affection that parting has strengthened: round the, old roof-tree are gathered tho faces tliyt gathered of yore. Sinking -ngnin into prose for a couple ,of -inches of pathos, tho fumes of the pudding proleptic arose, with intensified strength, and ..tho writer , soared ,upto a. height—but description would simply bo bathos: tho stanzas must tell their own and here they h're,'quoted at lengtli : "Gods, gods, and gods, we are weary of gods, wo have looked /on Immunity,"' toiling and struggling and, sighing and vyearning for' heights unattoined. ' Surely the conflict of. cults and',of creeds is a ljitiM vanity : not by . sucli deyioiis ways shall tlio golden millennium be gained. Is the world belter or worse for the conflict of warring theologies? Shame-, lessly vices and crimes rear their heads as they reared them of old.; Is the sum of man's, misery loss than when potent were heathen mythologies, and-by worshippers ardent , the praises of Zeus and Osiris were told? Owing to pressure of space, the following news was omitted (and hero I may add that' this metre is gradually driving mo frantio,. .for. Christmas is over .and nothing remains but a. horrible headache, and all ..through this week I've been saying: "'R/hat wonder-' ful, wonderful, weather," "Conductor, please give me, two sections, for bound am I "out. to, j Kilbirnie," "Oblige me by passing the mus-.' tard,'the" salt, and'the bread and the but-' ,ter," "and ovoryono..thinks I am> crazy,, and' littlo they guess that the reason is found; ili the lyrical leader I'read in the evening paper): ■ " ' V This; morning a 'vagrant was charged with' 1 no visible means of subsistence, and' also with, .having .committed ;a specially; brutal assault.. When a constable tried to 'arrest him he'd'. otTered tho stoutest, resistance. A fine of five: pounds was inflicted, or twenty-eight days io; default. ' ! - A. cabin froriv London reports that,r white" cheese has'advanced' by a shilling, and butter 1 (good Danish) is quoted at XG u ton f.o.b;, a. isluinp hiis set. in all sheepskins and buyers are very; unwilling to touch any "futures" in tallow. The bank rate is now down to 3.

"We have been inconvenienced in our open» air_ meetings by men who' call- themselves Socialists,"- wrote- Brigadier Albiston, Provincial Commander of the Salvation Army, last night, to .theX'ity '.Council. Th'o complaint' was that these men made a practice of getting; close up to the. iVrniy> ring', and.. entering into: arguments between ■themselves, thus .drawing.', attention away from the Army to themselves,: —News item. . 1 I I addressed the Brigadier, who ejaculated" "Glory I" and at once retrieved bis blunder with, apologies profuse for forgetting that at pressman, as a sinner old and hoary, is:i#<. pervious to preaching; but lie could not givfll me news. , So ; I wandered to the soap-box!'" where a Comrade was orating, and; I. didn't. wonder longer liow they drowned tlie drum, for the public-house was rocking and! the pavement was vibrating with the force; with which ho bellowed of a bright millen-! nium. He was affable, however, ' when' I' asked an explanation of'the grievance (vide supra) of tbo-gallant Brigadier. "Aren't ' you both," I said, "engaged in leading/ sinners 'to salvation?"-I—Hero1 —Hero lie climbed upon his: soap-box; and-.-ho shouted in my[\. ear:' ~; r

We'vo stood ,tko Law, liko other folks, Despite our gfiofs an' bosom-burnin's, That says that free-born wuckin' blokes Shall only get their bloomin' earnin's. We 'ate tho Law'that won't divide . Tho nation's, wealth and beer pro rater, ; But 'itherto we've stayed inside, Nor raged outside the old Theaytor. But'w'en the Harmy preaches peace, • Our quiet'policy must cease. A point thfero is w'en protest must , _ Give wuy'tor-bricks.-Good taste? I scorn it) , 'An' 'Aiice~ wo ups an' seeks tor bust • The lmnti-Socialistid cornet. ■ ■ Those 'ymus of love an' sacrifice, An";all this 'ore.religious gammon Is bloated Capital's device; -The-Ilarniy drum's the voice of Maminonj I climb tho soap-box w'en they sings Of "blessed' poor" an'>\" 'igher things." This preachin' of a better;-land An' 'cavenly crowns for hcarthly troubla, : AII tor tho music of a band— : ; It sets mo runnin' at the double. Me 'end grows 'ot; gets dry, An' all mo spirit fairly itches Ter 'ear 'em sing an' testify , JThat 'olin.css is'more than,riches. ,*• . Wo drawn 'cm, if yer. want'tor know, ' •I'cr fear that wuckin' .blokes may grow Content with this, 'ere below. "Well, Jawn," said-jMr. Dooley, "I sefl-ya that Sciolice is ( kcepin' well afyrist iv times. Yo'vo harrdlv got over wondhorin'j,. howivor wo managed 1 without knowin' thai' I: th'- atom is a• whirrl iv super-fatted phos- j phate iv ; imaginary elccthricity .whin .ih'-j, scientist'is'hot-fut"nfthcr th' • remedy f'r i another cry in'want." | • "What is ut now?" askojl Mr. HcnnessyJ "Havo they found a ohap<\ substitute f'r th' 1 costly food' that is nieissary f'r bakers* horrscs?" 1 - " " No, but 'tis'near as , good. Me frind ■ Nick Tesla has arranged i' proiec' a billion \ horrso' power missage' t' Marrs bp wireless - ; telegraphy. ! Tis rough oil Marrs, but,' as Hogan'says whin I tould him, 'What is a* shattered. Marrs,' ho says,' 'ail' a few. elofcthrocutcd Marrshins,' says he, 'compared; with th' benefits, 1 ho says, 'iv adverrtisin'{. our. raysources, sav3, ho. An' there spoke; th' thnto statesman, Jawn. 'Twill be diffi- ] 1 cult, iv coorso, t' know, what t' ■ say t' th' j benighted Marrshiris', f'r wo dinnaw whether) they is anny Marrshins, an' ifthero is,.it's > onccrtain, whothor th' Marrshin is still'huntin' mammoths an' wearin' fur bathiri'-! . thrunks, or whether ho has advanced so far that ho smokes bo electhricity an' has nation'lised th' brow'rics. An' 'tis also a matther iv grave doubt whether th' Marr-' ■' shin speaks.English or American, or whether ■ ho writes on' th* thigh-bone iv th' man lies'( door that lie's just done pickin', or whothor; ho has advanced t' th' stage iv writin'' beT""" means iv brain waves. But what I admire is j th' astootnesa iv th' scientist in puttin' his finger on th' wako spot iv niodhern life. I Whin I was a boy, Jawn, th' scientist was' n uian with long whiskers that knew so much about- th' theory iv heat that he oudn't light til' kitchen fire, but- iv lato< ! yoars th' scientist hns refuted th' ouldi theory that ho didn't know enough t' come in I out iv th' rain. While pollyt-ifciniis ar-re ruakin'' bad laws t' settle th' quistion iv poverty, an'' ' Misther Keir Ilarrdio is wnstin' time about l ! : Injia, ail' th' Health authorities ar-ro pokin'' roun' th' dhrains,' th' scientist, inaiiitainiu'' 1 th' noble, thraditions iv th' profission that has th' honour iv provin' that apples fi\U fr'm threes—th'' scientist, Jawn, goes t' th' % root iv til' matter in wan hit." , "How did Nick Tesla think iv it?" asked Mr. Honncssy. v , • "Ho-kern t' Niagara Falls. 'Wather,' ho' says, 'a gr-reat deal iv wather fallin' down,' ' lie says. 'Now, what,' ho says, 'what's t-hiiii f'r, f'r, it must bo f'r something, 1 says ho. ■ An' he got a bit iv pa-aper, an' in two minutes ho had it wonted out. 'Ye can always find th' cause iv tliinits if yo.lul- f'r t.hnm,' he Baya."- . ,