HOW TO BEHAVE.

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 77, 24 December 1907, Page 9

HOW TO BEHAVE.

THE UNCONSCIOUS HUMOURIST :,■' ;:' •'■ \."'\ . i AGAIN.'.-; : .:, :' Among' the > unconscious humourists who. occasionally lighten the burden of tho daily ;task arc tho. person's who over and anon publish directions how' other people are to ■comport..thcmsolves under various circumstances in what is known as."polite society." , Communities as a whole in His Majesty's ,dvcr-sca dominions do not strive much after, tho.niceties of. theso rules of etiquette; but,' strangely onough, or,, perhaps, naturally so select few who do are those 'who usually find it the hardest. work to assimilato them. :. However, this may be, tho .latest publication of tho kind: alluded- to- has now been (published, 'its author being "A ..Lady in Society," and for tho small .sum of half-a-crbwn anyone can learn what is considered, good manners.■in this:"year of 1907, so soon :to give: place to its. successor. Tho year 'will depart to join the other dead years,, but, presumably, ■' tho good manners '. which adorned it will'remain. Some of , tho Society hints given in this little work are, in their way, gems... For. instance,- tho "true" lady "will be courteous to all around her; modest; but; not awkwardly bashful; ■brave, without boing'.in tho slightest degreo bold: or masculine; deferential and reverential to the aged, cheerful and lenient to tho ryoung" ; in.fact, she will .not ■'only try "to make men happy but to keep them so," also overy living.creature around her. When the All-Hed established and in going order this Dominion could easily absorb a few ship-loads, of this angelic creature, if there'., is any. abundance of her to sparo ,iu the Old Country. ,( ' ■ . '■..■'. . It i 3 also interesting to know that "in tho", house,' ,a woman is allowed much less freedom of posture than a man; she must sit still. : . ..The hands, if not'occupied, are so apt' to : fidget with each other, or with somo part-of .tho, dress or face." 'There is a sense of. relief hero in, finding that one was quite unconsciously, correct in tho idea that it was not. good form for a'.young lady'to tako a chair rand, rest her: foot, however boautiful iii shape, on, say the.mantelpiece, or tho table jbut'-it seems; to strike, one that the absolutely motionless"-<lady visitor, or ■ relative,' .on your best sitftifg hccommoda,tion would in time "got on ; oiie's nerves. Ono would 'miss those graceful little—might one . say '■ f -of tho hands- to tho back hair, or the deft re-arrangemont of tho hat, or a ! rHb'And.,lfero : or" there, Or tho buttoning and unbuttoning- of the glovo.-and it might cvori bo tho skilled' ! posing every now 'and then of the:_skirt fold.' -> ! 'Passing!this' by,, however,' as' a question' for the individual moro manj.it' appears .necessary to"'quoto/further' , ,that "an occasional interpolation of 1 tho name of, tlitf persdn with , whom we are conversing,is what is required:"■■• It is not sufficient, it-will bo obsorved, to . merely '.'say''"mister" or. Vmissus" now and then ;', tho; abruptness of .these terms'has often: ; seemed/somewhat in'complete _ and, harsh. ' Hero,' -'though, is;. an oxcellent hint 'to. those "who havo to pay thoso deadly politenesses 'known as ."duty calls." "No call of ( a ' purely formal; nature should',' be; ,of. Jong duration. . . If you find; callers already /thoro leave the house even sooner than you othorwiso would have done." It has.been the fate, of course, of numorous young men essaying tho "purely formal" duty of "seeing pa" to leayo his liouse'BOoner than they would otherwiso have done, and, perhaps, monr quickly than, was exactly .graceful,'.but tho excellence.of !thb 'advico applies generally to the unlucky iwigbts who have, to call, say, aftor a danceon; people-whom they do not know in . tho 'slightest. If any such will wait behind, a :bush.until they, see somebody else enter the' mansion they can'then, just go inside thp door and come out again, elate with a souse of duty' fuliilled. ; It is not good .form, by the by, when visiting to take "oither dogs or children" with:,you. It will.be' noted' the gifted authoross puts the dogs before tho children; but most men'will agree with her. :The .following law is roally admirablo :— ".No attempt;should ever, bo made'to combine, morning . and evening dress." . If one comes to think of it, a low-cut bodice, with a.riding-habit, or a swallow-tailed coat with |a high-cut Waistcoat and cycling knickers would look a trifle odd either in'thefpark or tho .drawing-room. Excellent advico. is given to lovers;' 'but it is questionable whether ;it were needed in thoso matter-of-fact courtship ' days. ' However, tho authoritysdya:—"Lovers should not make a pracj'tice of being so entirely absorbed with oach othor as to ignore others- wlioSo company they may, bo ; .in. Noithor is. it considered good.manners to indulge in any demonstrative allcction in public."_ It is to bo hoped this will sottlo it; nothing seems so peculiarly, selfish.-ns for Orlando to kiss Phyllis, or caress Chloo before a mixed audience, which has no activo participation in the sensations. ; : . \ '

TheVe is just a word, too, for tho dancing man:—"After the danco tho gentleman asks his partner whether she will..talco any refreshment, and if sho replies in tho affirmative lie escorts her trt the tea-room and procures her an.ico or whatever she fancies." Surely that "whatever she fancies".is charm-, ingly euphemistic. Sho may fancy quail on toast, and champagne; or pate do fois gras and bottled stout; or even jugged hare and alf and alf. Anyway tho scope for a largo and varied feed, not to mention copioss libaitioiis, herein offered to tho gentleman, from the first thnco evem to tho last, and extras i 3 as wido and big as it ought to bo. On thowholo this "Etiquette for Everybody" can recommended to the perusal of readers of The Dominion as a seasonable mental faro. '