THE INS AND OUTS OF ETIQUETTE

Dominion, Volume 1, Issue 69, 14 December 1907, Page 11

THE INS AND OUTS OF ETIQUETTE

I have been reading a little volume entitled '"J'be New Book of Etiquette" (says Spencer Leigh Hughes', in "M.A.P."), and that'title itself suggests that those conventional rules or forms of ceremony or decorum required bv good breeding to be observed towards particular persons and in particular ■ places, do not constitute an exact science. There is no finality in etiquette, and that which is the correct thing to-day may be a shocking lapse to-morrow. Thus even those who master all the intricacies in these, handbooks of mannors can' never feel secure—just as the lady who rejoices in securing the latest tiling iii hats has but a short time in which to revel in' a- sense of. possession. For even as, she piiis.it in position, she is haunted by the consciousness that fashions nro fleeting, and'that at that very moment there,may be. symptoms of a change singing in the upper chambers of the air. So with the student of etiquette—no sooner has he learnt than he has to unlearn, and to learn something else.- I notice for instance in this book an intimation that fashion no longer requires two people when shaking hands to i project the elbow out sideways and to raise the hand on a level with the chin. I never performed [this idiotic antic, .for so far as fashion is concerned I am never in the movement. One advantage of never learning the rules of etiquette, is that you never need unlearn anv.' but I imagine that among the elite of Peckham the raised hand and elbow attitude is still to be observed, while the envied habitues of tbe inner .nocial ring in Bloppert-on-oani-

SJushey-in-thc-Holc will he adopting the dis- | carded method of salutation this day twclvo months, iirmly convinced that it'is "the thing." Comparatively few people, 1 suppose, are at any time quite correct from the point of view of etiquette, as the vast majority of those interested in •such matters are engaged in an eternal and a pathetic attempt, to catch up. Who issues these orders which are. so implicitly: obeyed? Who,' 1. should like to know,. first said that we ought to raise the elbow and hand in the manner already mentioned, and then said that we should not? Perhaps it is well that, we.'do | not know, just as it is well for gentlemen who. thrill "Europe by their leading articles to remain shrouded iii the veil of anonymity. The. author of the book before me describes herself as "a Lady in Society"—possibly she is a duchess, and, perhaps not. Hut whoever she is slip tells us how-to behave, at our christening, how to walk, to talk, and to laugh; how to bow, to Write a ! letter, and to dress; how to marry, to cat. ' to drink, and to die.- She'is ever at our elbow from the cradle to the. grave. When . one starts out for p. picnic in Epping Forest j it might be supposed that .the rigid rules 1 of etiquette might for' the time'he relaxed, i hut this is not the case,", for the Lady in ; Society does not fail to remind'us' not to, wave our handkerchiefs-at ■ every passer-by, | and she frowns on "the perpetual twang of two or three instruments." 'Well, 1 have never been in Epping Forest, either for a picnic or for any other purpose,-but. 1 have always understood that the "hail-fellow-well-; met" spirit, whirh prevails on such occasions, and the sturdy music-'of'the cornet awl concertina, provide by 'no means tho least charm. ' Indeed, the more I read about etiquette— and I study every boHk : on the subject, that comes in my way—th'e'inofe i am convinced that etiquette is at eternal war with nature. When poets describe the forefathers of a hamlet as "rude" they! probably mean that: they were natural. When such wiv wanted to enter a. room they probably walked in at fho door in an ordinary, way, and..by doing so very likely they outraged all sorts -ofrides of etiquette. At any.rate, it is on record t-l'tat Horace Walpolc* (who was "in Society") always entered :ii room "with .knees bent and feet on tiptoe; as if; afraid of a wrt floor." Possibly- if we.-could pursue our investigations back, to a period of time, sufficiently remote, wo '.should find the. leading men and women of the day entering a room on all lours; indeed, this must, have been so when'our ancestor's held'their "At Homes" in caves with low and narrow entrances.